This Is For Fighting, This Is For Fun
story by Donny, abortion written with help by skippy
One bright spring day our platoon was tasked with some combat training. specifically we were assigned to attack a fake village that would be populated with other soldiers pretending to be third world residents. Our goal was to neutralize HVTs. For the benefit of the non-military readers an HVT is a High Value Target. In other words the guys that we want to do bad things to.
The training village was a cluster of six buildings, illness ranging is size from a small single room dwelling to a large 2 story house. This building was practically a mansion by the standards of the other buildings, shop with several interconnected rooms. There was even an escape tunnel leading out of the village.
These buildings, like all urban combat simulators were constructed with thick slabs of concrete, to create a maximum of durabilty with a minimum of cost. Which are two desirable features for a building if you plan on letting soldiers run amok without any serious adult supervision.
My squad was the main effort, and so the large two story building was our target. We dismounted our Bradleys, sprinted to the building, and entered through a window. As we climbed the stairs we encountered light enemy resistance, which we quickly and professionally put down.
Once on the second floor, we began clearing all of the rooms. Within a short period of time we had swept through the area, and had already captured or killed every HVT except for one. And we only had one room left to check.
So my squad stacked up and I got the be the breacher. Again for the non-military types here, a breacher is the guy who gets the break the door down. As soon as he does that everyone else runs in, the goal being to put as many soldiers through the door as quickly as possible.
So I forced the door and watched my squad storm in to the sound of gunfire. As I tried to join them in the assault I collided with a team-mate who was standing in the doorway laughing. Despite the clear presence of an armed hostile my squad instead of opening fire, was doubling over with laughter. Feeling disgruntled I shoved my way into the room while shouting “What the hell is so funny?”
And then I saw.
Remember how I mentioned the nice thick walls in this place? Well aside from being durable thick cement also blocks sounds. And so the nice Sergeant who was playing the role of enemy combatant had not heard the raid starting. And having been left with some privacy for a while, he decided to conduct a private “weapons inspection”.
He was in fact rather enthusiastically in the middle of said inspection when my squad, rather rudely, broke the door down and barged in.
Now to his credit, he was able to change gears, and weapons, rather quickly. He dropped his gun, grabbed his rifle, and began what could under the circumstance only be referred to as a valiant last stand.
Unfortunately for him he had been caught with his pants down, red handed as it were.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Oh my…I…wow. I think I may be blushing…
Okay, back from laughing my ass off. Awesome story!
June 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am
FIRST!!!
June 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Oh, sweet! I AM first!
June 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am
whoops…
June 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Thhhhppppt!
June 13th, 2008 at 7:15 am
i know, i know….
June 13th, 2008 at 7:50 am
*laughs* Oh, that is MASTERFUL!
Captcha: Jamaica Keeler – A very strong alcoholic beverage or a very strong crop of weed.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:06 am
wow… so I’m guessing this wasn’t a new diversion tactic? at
June 13th, 2008 at 9:37 am
I know guys in my unit who would have done this. One of them is one of my troops. I always have to make sure not to tell this kind of story around him, I don’t want him to have any more ideas than he already has.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Oh god i don’t even know what to say. Well i guess these guys are trained to deal with anything.
I think captcha hates me it keeps giving stuff i can’t read.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
so what? You get first dibs on the soldier? I mean i guess he is nice and ready.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
well hey, you train like you fight right? who’s to say your target WON’T be punching the clown when you burst into his bedroom unannounced.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I think the enemy should employ this tactic as a standard diversionary tactic. The average age of an active-duty Soldier is 19; can you imagine?
My captcha is Marion Woodrow. I wonder who that is?
June 13th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Hehehe well at least he went out happy.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Genuinely laugh-out-loud funny.
And I get the best captcha EVAR for this. “man barges”.
June 14th, 2008 at 2:05 am
I wouldn’t say no…but I thought the whole idea of relating to yourself was that it was YOU relating to YOURself, not someone else.
June 14th, 2008 at 7:04 am
I am truely at a loss for words………LMAO!
Catcha: artillery confirmed
Me thinks this be a little funny as well!
June 14th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Wow. just wow.
June 14th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
it could have been worse, or better from my point of view, there could have been someone else in there with him giving him pointers, or he could have offered everyone a smile and kept going
captcha: say mhmm for “pro-German Sugar”
June 14th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I vote the alchohol, most likely rum… cause most weed grown in jamaica is shipped out so I doubt they’d brand it as something that kills them
captcha: “resorts $8.52”
June 15th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
are you serious? what the hell is pro-German Sugar? is it great with beer? is it good for putting on bratwurst?
“dramatic statue”
June 15th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Im starting to become convinced that captcha grabs random words from web pages.
“CAINE established”
June 16th, 2008 at 6:02 am
I was thinking of something coming out of bratwursts of sorts, but hey I’m told I’m just a perv… or maybe even an ingredient to a cake filling that jews and muslims don’t enjoy
captcha: “be- wildwood”
June 16th, 2008 at 6:04 am
I agree as does captcha
“crowds Co”
June 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I wasn’t gonna comment on this story, but… captcha
“his mixture”
*facepalm*
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:25 am
I wasn’t going to comment either, but the Captcha is:
“Yanks 24”
August 23rd, 2008 at 5:55 am
_ ~
O O*
D *
August 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 am
Mrr.
The box took out the space before the ‘D’, but that was supposed to be a little ‘WTF?-face’ I wanted to share. I am now resisting the urge to pout.
Oh, what the Hell.
*Pouts!*
Note: Cool idea, everybody finds a place to use the (correct) ‘WTF-face’ and plugs Skippy’s site!
August 24th, 2008 at 4:51 am
Pro-German Sugar: that would be what my mamma was giving when she was a-huggin’ and a-kissin’ on my born-on-Stuttgart daddy……