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Archive for June 12th, 2008

The Couple That Preys Together, Stays Together

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

I saw a news story a while back about a couple that had kidnapped people, kept them as sex slaves and then murdered them when they were done with them.

As disgusting as that is, it got me wondering, how do these people find each other? I have had a hard enough time finding a normal chick that will tolerate me playing video games.

So how do people like this hook up with someone else that shares their interests? You can’t exactly place an ad in the paper.

SWM seeks woman with open mind. Must enjoy trying new things, meeting people and able to carry up to 175 lbs. Van owner a plus.

Or maybe this.

SWM seeks woman into BDSM, mostly the B, D, and especially the S, not so much the M. Must enjoy the light hearted romantic comedies of Voorhees, Kruger, Myers and John Holmes. Must be into threesomes and/or voyeurism. Not squeamish around blood. Previous criminal history not a problem. Van owner a plus.

Or maybe this.

Do you get off on finding that special someone, and forcing them to perform unspeakable acts, against their will, and then “disposing” of them when they no longer amuse you? Would it be more fulfilling if you had someone to share the experience with? Then I am the man for you. Van owner a plus.

Obviously you can’t do that, so at what point in the relationship do you make the suggestion to your significant other that you want to spice up the sex life by committing three of the most heinous crimes you can commit?

I see the conversation going something like this…

A husband and wife are having another quiet, uneventful Friday night together. While surfing the channels on the TV, he asks, “So honey… what do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. Want to go to a movie,” she replies.

“No… I was thinking of something a bit more active.”

She pauses to think for a moment and offers up, “Bowling?”


He pauses for a minute then says, “Hey, I have an idea. It’s a little weird, but hear me out.”

With an intrigued look on her face, she says, “OK, this sounds interesting.”

The husband continues, “What if we went out and found some random stranger, kidnapped them, kept them in the basement as a sex slave for a while, and when we get tired of them, we can kill them and bury them in the back yard, and start all over again?”

She stares at him with a shocked look on her face, as if she saw her mates soul for the very first time and says, “Do you know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that? I’ll get my coat.”