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The Couple That Preys Together, Stays Together

June 12th, 2008 by Michiel

I saw a news story a while back about a couple that had kidnapped people, kept them as sex slaves and then murdered them when they were done with them.

As disgusting as that is, it got me wondering, how do these people find each other? I have had a hard enough time finding a normal chick that will tolerate me playing video games.

So how do people like this hook up with someone else that shares their interests? You can’t exactly place an ad in the paper.

SWM seeks woman with open mind. Must enjoy trying new things, meeting people and able to carry up to 175 lbs. Van owner a plus.

Or maybe this.

SWM seeks woman into BDSM, mostly the B, D, and especially the S, not so much the M. Must enjoy the light hearted romantic comedies of Voorhees, Kruger, Myers and John Holmes. Must be into threesomes and/or voyeurism. Not squeamish around blood. Previous criminal history not a problem. Van owner a plus.

Or maybe this.

Do you get off on finding that special someone, and forcing them to perform unspeakable acts, against their will, and then “disposing” of them when they no longer amuse you? Would it be more fulfilling if you had someone to share the experience with? Then I am the man for you. Van owner a plus.

Obviously you can’t do that, so at what point in the relationship do you make the suggestion to your significant other that you want to spice up the sex life by committing three of the most heinous crimes you can commit?

I see the conversation going something like this…

A husband and wife are having another quiet, uneventful Friday night together. While surfing the channels on the TV, he asks, “So honey… what do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. Want to go to a movie,” she replies.

“No… I was thinking of something a bit more active.”

She pauses to think for a moment and offers up, “Bowling?”


He pauses for a minute then says, “Hey, I have an idea. It’s a little weird, but hear me out.”

With an intrigued look on her face, she says, “OK, this sounds interesting.”

The husband continues, “What if we went out and found some random stranger, kidnapped them, kept them in the basement as a sex slave for a while, and when we get tired of them, we can kill them and bury them in the back yard, and start all over again?”

She stares at him with a shocked look on her face, as if she saw her mates soul for the very first time and says, “Do you know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that? I’ll get my coat.”

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34 Responses to “The Couple That Preys Together, Stays Together”

  1. barry Says:

    the hell?


  2. L.B. Bryant Says:

    Oh what guy hasn’t, at the height of passion while getting squelchy, hasn’t uttered something completely random that he was stuck with? It’s just that instead of accidentally whispering ‘I love you’, he whispered ‘oh god, you turn me on so much I want to kill people,’ and one thing led to another.

    Maybe? perhaps? hello?


  3. Minty Says:

    “How do these people find each other?”



  4. PFC Wilson Says:



    I’ve said some pretty random things in sex, but that’s a whole new level of weird.


  5. Sean Says:

    Honestly, I could deal with a girl saying that during sex. When one girl said “Hit me” like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, now *that* killed the mood. Especially after the third, maybe fourth time.

    What? My hand started to hurt.


  6. Christian Lafay Says:

    Now I want to know why you can’t put a personal ad out like that. I mean, come on, I’ve seen some weird ads in my day that aren’t that far from that. Including “van owner a plus”. But maybe it’s just that the Houston, Tx area Green Sheet isn’t the most filtered of publications.

    But I also think you are forgetting a different avenue of how that could have all went down. Maybe it started as a harmless three some between friends…ish. And the first “slave” was into the crazy and asked for the Choke Me Special*.

    Then one time while the slave is gasping and still saying harder the thinkable happens, and no more threesome. After alot of freaking out and alot of consultation the remaining couple found it was a rush and low and behold a repeat offender is born.

    That’s why I promote safe kinky sex. “Save a life, dress up like a French maid.”

    *Note: Not stating that Erotic Asphyxiation is “crazy” but that it is just not your day to day sexual technique for the general populace.


    Brina Ferret reply on June 16th, 2008 6:23 am:

    there are even safer kinkier sex practices from throwing more guy/girls into the mix to trying out the furry lifestyle maybe just the plain old tying up and locking in a trunk or suitcase… but if that isn’t enough even you both going out to a bar seperately and having a pretend date rape session keeps the fun without the messy murder… there are much safer things to choking

    “darkness he”


  7. Stickfodder Says:

    What i figure happened is that the relationship started based around sex probably normal sex and as that became boring and the relationship started to show signs of falling apart they decided to spice things up having kinkier and kinkier sex until they reached the limit of legal sex. And as they started to look at the most depraved forms of sexual perversion they decided that they didn’t want to hurt children so pedophilia was out of the question, neither of them found animals or dead people attractive so beastiality and necrophilia were out of the question. And in the end they were forced to kidnap people and use them as sex slaves, and out of boredom killed the people.

    Hay heres a weird thought, when people pedicure their feet they use files. are the files called “pedifiles”?


    Stickfodder reply on June 12th, 2008 8:18 am:

    Oh my god. Going back and rereading that I just realized i have some serious issues. I really need to start filtering my thoughts.


    Minty reply on June 12th, 2008 11:46 am:

    Actually, I’d think it was a combination of what you said and what Christian Lafay said above.

    And, I think it’s less that you have serious issues, and more that you have a better grasp on how sick people can be.


    Stickfodder reply on June 13th, 2008 1:54 pm:

    Actually I started writing before Christian Lafay finished so I hadn’t read it yet.


    Brina Ferret reply on June 16th, 2008 6:16 am:

    I can totally see that happening, but necrophilia may have been part of the deal, especially if the guy needed a kill for an erection. He would prefer to stay close to the body keep it around for a bit, maybe even fuck her before the rigamortis sets in. He might have his girlfriend make out with the corspe a bit while he is fucking her… I personally think the best way to go is to find a necrophiliac with low self-esteem who is trying to get over their sexual desire for the dead. It wouldn’t take much to warp that person to your needs.

    captcha: “confer enjoyed”


  8. RedScarf07 Says:

    Hay heres a weird thought, when people pedicure their feet they use files. are the files called “pedifiles”?

    No it’s called a pumice stone! =D


  9. Stickfodder Says:

    What about that pedegg thing its a file. hmm i wonder if the name “pedifile” came up when trying to name it.


    Tony reply on June 12th, 2008 11:05 am:

    the part of the commercial where they show the guy emptying his foot shavings into the trash almost made me hurl.


    Minty reply on June 12th, 2008 11:41 am:

    I think you’re thinking of a callus file, which is basically a rasp. Loads of fun if you have ticklish feet like me.

    And then there’s the credo blade, which is basically a razor blade. That’s illegal in a bunch of states, by the way.

    Isn’t female beauty fun? :D


    Stickfodder reply on June 12th, 2008 12:07 pm:


    Why do you people have to ruin my fun? Huh?


    Minty reply on June 12th, 2008 12:38 pm:

    Because it’s fun for us?

    sprucemoose reply on June 14th, 2008 9:40 am:

    Don’t feel bad, Stickfodder. You can always call foot fetishists “pediphiles.”

  10. Froglet Says:

    That happened up here in Canada, Ontario to narrow it down. I don’t know how they found their mutual interest, but I know they started with her sister. He had been raping women before he got married though. They called him The Scarborough Rapist.
    She made a deal and got off light, THEN started remembering ‘oh, I think I might have participated, oops’ just as her lawyer gave over the tapes they made of the crimes.


  11. A B Says:

    Someone’s been watching “Most Evil” on cable again, havent they?


  12. Bubbles Says:

    I watched the movie based on the guy Froglet described. Click name for the movie. Psychotic stuffs. I think it’s the same way a group of “normal” people find out they’re all capable of heinous acts and learn how to kill someone, then chop them up and burn them etc etc etc.


  13. tzanti Says:

    “SWM seeks woman with open mind. Must enjoy trying new things, meeting people and able to carry up to 175 lbs. Van owner a plus.”

    I think that’s my flatmate.


    Captcha: endurance Mayor – Japanese local elections? I’d like to see Ken and Boris in that.


  14. Alexiel Says:

    for those into extreme kinkiness without crossing too many legal barriers, may I suggest pyronecrophilia?


    Brina Ferret reply on June 16th, 2008 6:30 am:

    another fun one is anal and bondage with a U.S. soldier… fun, safe, and aparently slightly illegal

    captcha: “Muños ces”


  15. Minty Says:

    Shit! Captcha’s discovered my secret identity: “regularly agod.”


  16. bob Says:

    hey Brina your kinky get in touch. LOL.
    Have kilt(true Scot)and uniform willing to travel.
    No van and cant lift bodies.


  17. SrA Says:

    funny is when people get caught on that “illegal military sex” law…. pretty much everything but missionary.. and imagine telling your parents what the courtmartial charges are… family reunions will never quite be the same.


  18. Stickfodder Says:

    Ok what are you people talking about what “illegal military sex” law?


  19. bob Says:

    Anyform of activity in the military which brings satisfaction is either illegal or about to be made illegal


  20. Fractured Cell Says:

    What about if you like the taste of sh*t, and are told to lick the latrines clean by your superior officer?

    wont that be illegal too then?

    i spy a loophole here…

    captcha: “regurgitative beard”


    Fractured Cell reply on June 18th, 2008 8:28 pm:

    also, if i cant have no.1, ill have no.20 instead!



    SKD reply on June 18th, 2008 9:25 pm:

    Only if you can prove that you enjoy it

    Captcha “sincere Kirby”


    Fractured Cell reply on June 18th, 2008 9:29 pm:

    well, its only a little piece, as opposed to eating a whole ton of it…

    i know which one id choose. the question is, do you?


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