Archive for the ‘LT Ronald’ Category

Is there one story that you find yourself telling over and over again? My fiance and I recently bought a house in a nice little neighborhood in central PA. Since we have met and drank with a lot of new couples our “How we met” story has been told a lot lately. I don’t like telling that story unless asked, mostly because then I have to hear everyone elses’ boring “how we met on hopelesslosersonline.com” stories. Even if they don’t offer it up, I still have to ask because it is the polite thing to do after telling them about how awesome my coupling went (please feel free to offer up your stories in the comments, especially if they are funny).

No one here asked, but then again you haven’t asked me to tell you about Penis pumps, letter H-ing midgets, shit-facing my commander, getting checked for the clap, or any of the other crazy things I’ve posted here. 

After my cheating whore of an ex-wife left me, I took some time to myself and stayed celibate for a bit. After that month was over I went out on the hunt. MWR was my nickname, not Morale, Welfare, and Recreation, though I must admit that I provided that for quite a few ladies during my year of being single. MWR stood for Man-Whore-Ron. (more…)

I have a 16 year old little brother, and a couple of college degrees. Because of that my mother has asked me to assist my little brother from time to time with homework assignments.

For the first assignment my degree had nothing to do with me being asked to help, just having been in college did.

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My roommate’s girlfriend, who is also my roommate, believes in ghosts. Not only does she watch those ghost hunter shows, but she believes that the house we live in is haunted.

Mr. Clean has a mop out there that looks like the back of the head of a Raggedy Ann doll. My roommate bought one of these for his girlfriend because she mentioned that she needed a new mop.

Nice guy my roommate, right? Apparently not-so-much. His girlfriend was ragging it and in a generally pissy mood when he gave her the mop, and it turns out that she has used that type of mop in the past and doesn’t like them. She made no bones about telling him how much she hated the mop and what a dumb-ass that he was for getting that type of mop.

Now I like both of my roommates, and I do understand what PMS can make a women say, but that didn’t mean a little revenge wasn’t in order.

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I may have very well created a monster in my boy. He is girl crazy and he’s only 10.

I’ve caught him numerous times staring at my fiance’s breasts when she’s in a bikini, and when caught he says “well dad, in my defense, my future step-mom is really hot!”

We went to Cracker Barrel last night for a family dinner, and a pretty girl of about 10 walked by and my son nearly fell out of his chair looking at her. He gave her a wink and a smile, and she smiled back at him. He asked me what I would do. I told him that when I was single if a pretty girl smiled at me I’d buy her a beer. The little girl’s table was getting “happy birthday” sang to one of them at that very moment by the wait staff. The next time the waitress came up, my son asked her to send a rootbeer over to the little girl. I was too stunned to even stop it, I just gave the waitress a nod, which meant “Sure, you can be party to my son’s future as a player.” As the waitress walked by our table with the rootbeer, my son stopped her again and said “here give her this as well.” He put both his mother’s and my phone numbers on a napkin.

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Was watching TV last night and caught about half an hour of The Bachelor. This show and shows like it are total crap. Who wants to see a bunch of good looking people enjoying all expense paid vacations and acting as dramatic as possible just to get 15 minutes of fame? Has anyone done a statistic of how many of those relationships actually last?

I want to see a reality dating show that actually is entertaining and enjoyable to watch. I want to see The Bachelorette: Special Ed edition. Now before you get down on me for making fun of retards, I think that if done with heartfelt good intentions that the show could be not only heartwarming and entertaining, but a way to put back into the nations’ minds that mentally retarded people can have relationships too.

But if Fox gets ahold of the idea forget about it. I could see it now…

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Had a fantastic holiday back home. Saw lots of family, enjoyed some excellent food, stayed away from all holiday cookies (pretty proud of myself for that one). Stayed with family over the Christmas break, and with all of the holiday brew-ha-ha never had any time for intimacy with the fiance.

We rushed to get headed out on Saturday for the long 4 hour trip to Harrisburg from Pittsburgh. In our rush we ate some quick wraps from our local Sheetz gas station. (This becomes important later).

About half way through our drive my fiance realizes that she hasn’t gotten any in almost 4 days and wants to rectify that at 70 miles per hour. (No, this story isn’t going to go all penthouse letters on you) There is still ice and melting snow on the road, plus a nice layer of fog in the air. While I love my fiance, I love my life, and low car insurance premiums more.  At the very least I love low car insurance premiums on the same level. 

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I was running early this morning. I hate running early, because it means that i could have been sleeping, but instead for some ungodly reason I woke up the first time my alarm rang. God bless the snooze button!

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