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I give my final rose to….. Corky!!!

February 16th, 2010 by LT Ronald

Was watching TV last night and caught about half an hour of The Bachelor. This show and shows like it are total crap. Who wants to see a bunch of good looking people enjoying all expense paid vacations and acting as dramatic as possible just to get 15 minutes of fame? Has anyone done a statistic of how many of those relationships actually last?

I want to see a reality dating show that actually is entertaining and enjoyable to watch. I want to see The Bachelorette: Special Ed edition. Now before you get down on me for making fun of retards, I think that if done with heartfelt good intentions that the show could be not only heartwarming and entertaining, but a way to put back into the nations’ minds that mentally retarded people can have relationships too.

But if Fox gets ahold of the idea forget about it. I could see it now…

Instead of roses they could hand out special hockey helmets to those not staying. They could go out to romantic dates at the biggest plastic ball-pit in the world.

No, on second thought that show should never never be made period. Mark my words though it’s just a matter of time before Fox tries it.

How about harelips? They deserve love too, but then again if Fox is gonna spend all of that money to broadcast the show, they might as well pay for the corrective surgery. Unless…. They make the surgery the grand prize for the winners!

Has there been a porno made of “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” premise? If not there should be, if there has been then I imagine that they probably just wrapped up volumes 47-53 within the last few days.  I don’t even want to look that up.

How long before Donald Trump is on “Undercover Boss”?

And the answer is “Yes! I am aware that the ultraconservative right-wing ass-hat network also puts out some of the most vile television on the air.”


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22 Responses to “I give my final rose to….. Corky!!!”

  1. CCO Says:

    I keep thinking about what Jay Leno said about “Temptation Island” and one other show, which I think was “Blind Date”: “Maybe the Taliban are right about TV.”


  2. Schwal Says:

    It continually cracks me up that 2 of the most popular characters on Fox are atheists. (House and Bones)


  3. Dude Says:

    Because being an Atheist is bad =\


    no effect reply on February 17th, 2010 5:20 am:

    nope it’s fun , just because I don’t believe in god does not mean I have not read the bible

    Then again I tend to refer my religion as a non-practicing atheist

    captcha angered believed


    Anonymous and STILL Employed reply on February 17th, 2010 7:27 am:

    Why is being an Atheist bad? I’ve never had to hit an Atheist for trying to convince me I’m going to hell.
    Besides, if you take away the concept of God and the excuses of “God told me to do it / God made me superior to you” then there’s no real reasoning for racism, insane cults or genocide anymore – that’s what it all boils down to.
    I wouldn’t mind more Atheism, it’s really just a way of people being more responsible for their own actions.


    skippy reply on February 17th, 2010 11:02 am:

    I think that Atheists are just as capable of being prejudiced as any other group of people. The human mind is capable of great leaping bits of mental gymnastics in order to justify actions, or reassure itself that it is “better” than the others around it. People that are going to behave that way and who are religious tend to use religion for this purpose. People that aren’t tend to come up with other reasons.


    StoneWolf reply on February 17th, 2010 12:38 pm:

    You’re both right. Athesim just removes one of the excuses. If you still think you’re better than someone, you have to explain why, you can’t just say “God said so”.

  4. Speed Says:

    Naah, Fox ain’t conservative/republican: all of the regular programming on the “home town” stations. FNC is just a business move because a sizeable demographic is conservative and want to listen to news that echoes their viewpoint. They are also consumers, so their is a market for the commercials that are being run, though I get the idea that the Madison Ave guys think that incontintent, diabetic, old folks that need power chairs are the main audience. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” heh.


    Speed reply on February 17th, 2010 6:17 am:

    Argh sentence frag! ‘…the “home town” stations tend to have a liberal slant…’ is how it should read.


  5. Jim C Says:

    Wouldn’t an atheist doctor be an oxymoron since most doctors believe they are god?


    Billy reply on February 17th, 2010 7:51 am:

    I’ve always wanted to start a cult, despite being a “full athiest” for years. Before you ask, I switched to being fatalist, so far, its made the most frigging sense, and i’m not dumb enough to start claiming I know about the afterlife. All I know is that something is infinite, because you need an action for the dominoe effect that is my idea of fate.

    captcha: for beginner, is that ignostics with religeon?


    StoneWolf reply on February 17th, 2010 12:40 pm:

    “Full Athiest”?


    Billy reply on February 17th, 2010 8:20 pm:

    full athiest=absolutely no belife in a god of any type, there are partials out there.

    fatalist=belife in fate. could be a higher power version, i’m more mathmatical, the whole cause and effect kind of thing. So, sorry, nothing to do with mass suicide.

    captcha=for limboing, is that the neutral choice in religeions?

    Ed Drone reply on February 17th, 2010 10:30 am:

    Actually, you could have a good character-conflict show with an atheist doctor who believes he is God but also knows that there is no God. The soliloquies would practically write themselves.

    “I saved that little girl’s life!”
    [No you didn’t! Your skills aren’t enough to do that!]
    “Oh, yes they are!”
    [Idiot! If that rare genetic condition weren’t curable by salt-water baths, she’d have died despite your best efforts.]
    “Etc. Etc.”
    [Says you!] …



    David reply on February 17th, 2010 11:40 am:

    Thats Surgeons, not doctors in general.


  6. David Says:

    Keep a list by the door. When someone comes knocking to give you an invite to something you don’t like, cross-check your list and reply with “We’re _fill_in_blank_ here”.

    Works really well!
    JW at the door? “We’re Mormons!”
    Mormons at the door? “I’m Excommunicated!”
    Baptists at the door? “We’re JWs!”
    Universalists at the door? “We’re Baptists!”

    Its all in the delivery. Big friendly smile, a firm handshake, look the person in the eye, and use the line. They’ll be dumbfounded: “Ba-ba-ba-ba so you don’t want this copy of our newsletter?”

    branch hospices – A Division of the Branch Davidians


    kat reply on February 17th, 2010 12:07 pm:

    I’ve always found that just saying “I’m a practicing Pagan” usually scares most of them away. Except Mormons, but I don’t mind them so much. They’re usually pretty nice people in general.


    StoneWolf reply on February 17th, 2010 12:44 pm:

    A buddy was at a friends house. The friend was Check or Bosnian or something. Making chicken for dinner. A couple of JW show up at the door, and they recognizes what they are so he just opens the door. He’s standing there in a bloody apron with bloody gloves and a large bloody knife from cutting up the chickens. “Oh, come back in a minute, ve’re not quite finished vith de vergin yet!” Nobody ever came to his door again.

    Me, I usually just prefer “I’ve got a shotgun, a shovel, a hundred and fortyfive acres, I’m friends with the Sherif and you’re trespassing. Now, how important is that pamphlet of yours really?” So far nobody has decided the pamphlet is that important.


    M578Jockey reply on February 17th, 2010 2:20 pm:

    I always keep a large pentacle necklace and a copy of “Buckland’s Complete Witchcraft” by the door for such emergencies.

    Captcha: From Warthogs – Yes most religions would make more sense if the came from Warthogs


    kat reply on February 17th, 2010 6:05 pm:

    That reminds me of a friend of mine. The group of us were about to go out back (out back meaning into the 40 acres of woods behind his house) and shoot some stuff, so he’s got two bandoliers going across his chest and answers the door holding a shotgun, while the group of five people behind him are also all clearly packing. The JW’s didn’t even try, they just turned around and left.


    Signalist reply on August 11th, 2011 1:51 am:

    damn I’d like to use that list on JWs but they are just way too cunning, last time they sent two hot chicks to my door, how am I supposed to tell them “No I am not interested, nor do I want to take your brochures”?

    And the other time, while I was in the military, they sent the one pair who were not afraid to talk with some ‘trained killer’, as soon as I opened the door they started talking, in fact it took me a while to realise they were in fact JWs, before I managed to say anything they gave me a brochure and left.


  7. Gunrunner Says:

    Ahhhh! The visuals from some of these replies! Makes me all giggly.

    Captcha = murdock from…The center leaning mormon pagan witnesses who sacrifice gay whales to honor their vegetarian blow job virgins!? No idea where that came from…….maybe Yoda joined the A-Team.


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