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The Orange Mop of Death

April 28th, 2010 by LT Ronald

My roommate’s girlfriend, who is also my roommate, believes in ghosts. Not only does she watch those ghost hunter shows, but she believes that the house we live in is haunted.

Mr. Clean has a mop out there that looks like the back of the head of a Raggedy Ann doll. My roommate bought one of these for his girlfriend because she mentioned that she needed a new mop.

Nice guy my roommate, right? Apparently not-so-much. His girlfriend was ragging it and in a generally pissy mood when he gave her the mop, and it turns out that she has used that type of mop in the past and doesn’t like them. She made no bones about telling him how much she hated the mop and what a dumb-ass that he was for getting that type of mop.

Now I like both of my roommates, and I do understand what PMS can make a women say, but that didn’t mean a little revenge wasn’t in order.

That mop found it’s way on top of the downstairs bathroom toilet that night.

The next night it found it’s way into the roommates’ shower, after being discovered by her it mysteriously appeared in her closet.

A few days later the mop was on top of the kitchen ceiling fan.

The timing of the appearances meant that it couldn’t be her boyfriend, my fiance, or me as we all work at different times of the day. This was not lost on her and she believed that “The Ghost” was moving the mop to torment her. So she threw the mop away.

The mop next appeared in the back seat of her car wearing sunglasses.

A few days later it was reclined out on the living room chair with a blanket and a pillow.

The four of us needed some items at Kmart the one day, so I left before everyone else and planted orange headed mops all over the store, everywhere that there was an item that she had said that she needed.

One morning she woke up to find the mop sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, with a few crumbs on it.

Around this point she finally broke down and asked her boyfriend to get her a shrink. I really wanted to see her in a straight jacket, but at that point it seemed too cruel to continue.

In all honestly my fiance and the roommate were also in on the mop placement, which helped with deniability, but once I realized that she was wising up to it being us (somewhere around the 5th appearance) I told her about it and to keep it going just because I was getting as much amusement from watching my fiance and the roommate’s reactions to her craziness as I was to watching her go crazy. Plus, now I could direct her “craziness” to an amusing outcome, watching my roommate hold her as she rocked back and forth sobbing. Both he and my fiance were begging me (by mouthing the words) to just tell her, and that the joke had gone  too far. At that point she started laughing and called them suckers.

Now all three of them swear vengance on me for making them all the butts of my jokes.

Look forward to that story.

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11 Responses to “The Orange Mop of Death”

  1. Billy Says:

    No matter how crazy you are, there is always someone crazier who will find out the truth, then fill it with crazy as they see fit.


  2. Craig Says:

    CAPTCHA: of enigmas

    Appropriately enough.


  3. Adam Says:

    Nothing to contribute, but Captcha was irresistible:

    “million-disk retyping” – captcha knows what you did, and how to punish you.


  4. CCO Says:

    Wait, let me see if I got this straight: the roomate’s girlfriend figured it out and y’all kept it going to drive the other two nuts?

    Wasn’t this an episode of M*A*S*H? (Did you taste my toothpaste?)


    TheShadowCat reply on April 29th, 2010 7:05 am:

    There was an episode of M*A*S*H that revolved around watching Hawkeye slowly lose his mind. (Did you actually see my tush?) That was a great episode.


    CCO reply on April 29th, 2010 5:49 pm:

    There was a very serious episode involving the visiting psychiatrist (Sigmund?) and a tragic event, and there was one where BJ and Hawkeye kept playing pranks on each other and other people. It turned out that everybody was helping BJ.


    Dennis reply on January 9th, 2011 1:41 pm:

    That’s one of my favorite less-serious episodes.


  5. Matt Says:

    Sounds like great fun. NExt you need to grow spaghetti.


    Captain McCheese reply on April 30th, 2010 2:35 pm:

    I had a subsitute teacher who once made a bunch of 8 year olds do a comprehension on spaghetti growing. We only figured out it was April Fool’s AFTER finishing the damn thing. She was one of those strict ladies that you never would have thought of having a sense of humour.


  6. Aco319sig Says:

    Wow… Capcha: 99 savvying… Are you savvy enough?


  7. Akugi Says:

    That is made of awesome.


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