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Bad PUGs

September 20th, 2009 by skippy

Note for non-gamers: A PUG, drugs or pick-up group, doctor is when you wind up playing an online game with a group of more or less random strangers, clinic rather than with people that you know.  Given how most online games are teamwork oriented, and given how most people on the Internet tend to behave, this frequently turns out to be a Very Bad Idea.

See also: Charlie Foxtrot, Leroy Jenkins, Azerothian Roulette, and “What the hell are the idiots doing?!”

Not to be confused with the small dogs that look like their face got smashed in with a shovel.

(Note from the Stephanie)

For your World of Warcraft fans:
I’m in a smallish guild on WOW.  We usually have enough for some 10-mans but outside of raid nights, we often don’t have enough people on to do things like Vaults or OS and have to join other groups or partner with another guild for 25 man content.  So the long and short of it is several of our members join PUGS for these things (that’s pick-up-groups for the non-WOW folks but also means someone who joins a pick-up group) or put out general calls for pugs to join us.  This list is based on the experiences of my fellow guild members and myself:

(Submitted by Stephanie)

You know it’s going to be a bad PUG when:
1.    The raid leader whispers you and asks “Are you DPS?” and you are a warlock.
2.    You join the raid and are immediately made the raid leader.
3.    The raid leader starts putting raid members on ignore, but won’t kick them.
4.    The mage doesn’t know how to make a food table.
5.    You are about to start and the group leader asks, wait do we have any healers?
6.    And your answer is “well I have healthstones.”
7.    You are waiting on your tank to stop pvping with people outside the instance entrance and said tank keeps dying but wants one more go at them.
8.    The people already at the instance can’t figure out how to use the summoning stone.
9.    The people at the instance once they figure out the summoning stone don’t understand why they should summon the warlock first so we can get people inside quicker.
10.    Not even when the other people to be summoned are coming from Wintergrasp and a bunch of pvpers of the other faction are milling about the summoning stone and don’t look happy about losing.
11.    The hunter/warlock has left their pet on aggressive and steps into the instance right after everyone else.
12.    After everyone dies, they do it again.
13.    You realize that you are the oldest person in the raid and desperately want to turn off the raid chat or maybe just claw your eyes out.
14.    Someone starts singing the “Grand Old Duke of York” when it becomes obvious that the raid leader is lost (OK that happened in guild on an old-world raid achievement run but it was still funny and could easily apply some PUGS).
15.    After the fourth death on a boss, the tank realizes they are in the wrong stance/mode/spec and that’s why they can’t keep aggro.
16.    The raid leader explains that all range dps needs to split up and decide which will do x and which y and that’s when you realize you are the only range dps in the raid.
17.    The raid leader has to drop out just as the raid starts because they have to go to bed, it’s a school night.
18.    You just joined the raid group, haven’t done anything yet, don’t know anyone and they invite you to join their guild.

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13 Responses to “Bad PUGs”

  1. SKD Says:

    None of this is unique to WoW. I had these same problems in EQ and Rappelz which I currently play. I even went so far as to create my own guild in Rappelz just so my toons would quit receiving guild invites every five seconds

    Captcha “Abbatiello approves”; and so do I


  2. Cindy Says:

    It’s true in Guild Wars, too. The game mechanics may change, but PUGs will always be full of internet fools.

    That said, sometimes it’s really fun (as a female gamer who plays female characters) to mess with the kids in towns/outposts who firmly believe that girls don’t game and anyone talking about a boyfriend or hot guys must be gay. OK, OK … maybe I bait them. Just a little bit.


  3. ThandraK Says:

    You ever try to walk about seven of those little dogs that look like they got their face smashed in by a shovel? Pretty good imitation of playing in a PUG, you ask me…


  4. Leon Says:

    I’d add:
    19. Be prepared to wait (infinity – 1hrs) for the PUG to fill up then constantly lose people as they get tired of waiting and leave only to wait longer as you try to get more people just to have more people leave because they’re tired of waiting only to have to wait for…


  5. Gwenyvier Says:

    Lol, very true Cindy. The PUGs in GW seem to center around the earlier areas or the high end areas though.

    And yea… its kinda fun baiting them at times.



  6. Pheebs Says:

    LOL im glad to see that Im not the only one that does that on GW, course I am bad about doing it in WoW to… Us silly girls we like our girly toons. Go fig :D

    Captcha – 135 cenotaph…135 what? sounds like an eight legged ugly in onyxia’s lair.


  7. PhoenixMastM Says:

    Another one: When the only ranged DPS goes AFK for more than 20 seconds, and says that he may not have internet for much longer.

    And another: When the non-tanks suddenly become the tanks in mid battle because the tank logged out/DC’d/went AFK.


  8. SpaZzy Says:

    I don’t really play WoW, but that is the same for a LOT of online games. Take Call of Duty 4 or Halo 3 in example.

    While randomly joining teams is fun, there are always things you must consider.

    If there’s someone singing, leave.
    If there’s a person with a high pitched voice talking to someone who’s voice very well could be Satan’s, leave.
    If someone tells you to leave because they’re waiting for someone who is very good. Stay.

    Basically the basics.



  9. Leon Says:

    And if some kid or teen has a meltdown because his/her parents are cutting them off – record because that is comic gold.

    For example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwql6_RJ348


    Chris reply on September 24th, 2009 7:32 am:

    I remember my parents cutting me off when I was in the middle of something. It’s really annoying, because they can’t understand that you can’t always just put the game down wherever you are. It’s flaw of having parents that predate pinball. I never had a meltdown like that, though.

    CAPTCHA: 7-10 emotes: Three times the number of emoticons my mother knows after I’ve shown her how to make them on Facebook. So, case-in-point.


  10. papajb Says:

    This sounds eerily like being in MSN/Yahoo groups! just substitute the word “chat” for “raid”, and it fits VERY well…


  11. samo Says:

    When you show up and everyone else in the raid is missing MOST of their gear, or has it in their bags but doesn’t feel it necessary to wear during the raid ‘they’re that hardcore’…LEAVE – or watch & record.

    Captcha: Resurrection assuming so that’s why I’ve been dead for 4 hours…


  12. Leon Says:

    Or after spending 30min assembling everyone and getting ready to pull the first mob only to have:

    a) The hunter announce he’s almost out of ammo
    b) Someone say their gear’s almost red and needs to repair
    c) Someone ask to get a summon


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