Archive for May, 2009

I’ve finally decided to share a recent incident that involved my wife and I being “adopted” with you and the other “Skippyites” that should tickle your collective funny bones.

Not to long ago, my wife and I where contemplating the benefits of getting ourselves a “fur kid”. The particular one in question being a cat. Now, I have always grown up with dogs and have owned 4 over the years and each one passed away peacefully but as my wife never grew up owning a dog or being around people who owned dogs, to say she is not a “dog person” is putting it mildly. Me, on the other hand, am not really a cat person. I even own a t-shirt that reads “I love cats…..lets swap recipes” and I have to admit that the feeling may be mutual every since my childhood when my brother and I built a catapult that lived up to it’s name. But that’s another story.

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OK, for all you jar-heads out there I only have 5 words for you…

“I Can’t Feel My Face!”

If you are a Marine and smacked your computer screen, it’s OK. If you are not a marine, never was a marine, and never will be a marine… What the hell were you thinking?!?

Recently I was fortunate enough to be sent to Florida for some advanced career training for the military. This is a joint training course involving all four major branches of the military as well as several foreign militaries. I was fortunate enough to end up with the marines. Now anyone who has gone TDY with marines know, if you are going to drink, take a marine. First of all, they are among the best brawlers in the US and will cover your butt should a brawl break out. Second of all, they know the best bar games. I was introduced to one called, “I can’t feel my face.”

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(Submitted by Devil Doc)

You know you are a cop if …..

1) You have the bladder capacity of five people.

2) You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

3) You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.

4) Your idea of a good time is a “man with a gun” call.

5) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

6) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

7) You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

8) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

9) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

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