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Archive for May 24th, 2009

Nurse List

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

(Submitted by Nurse S)

1) Not allowed to give the secretary’s name to the confused patient(s) in the hall.
2) Not allowed to play with a bed alarm.
3) Not even if I’m just checking to make sure it works.
4) It’s bariatric equipment, not “big boy” or “big girl” (chair, bed etc.).
5) Not allowed to give telemetry patients sternal rubs if they are sedated. It causes the heart monitor to go crazy, and sometimes people run to the room.
6) Ok, I can give them sternal rubs, but make sure I answer when asked if I need any help.
7) Staff emergency buttons are not toys.
8) Not allowed to tell patients they are idiots.
9) Not allowed to tell patients they are drug seeking.
10) Not allowed to tell patients that they are a pain in the ass
11) Not even if 9-10 are true.
12) No mentioning the “Q word.”
13) If I mention the “Q word” I will get the next admit, and they WILL be a pain in the ass.
14) No talking about codes.
15) Because if I do, one is more likely to happen.
16) The floor is not the psych ward, even if it feels that way.