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Pre-Election Result Thoughts Regarding “Dubya”

November 4th, 2008 by Michiel

Regardless of who is elected, (I think we all know who will win), I think about 70% of us can agree, that it will be a good thing to finally be rid of President George W. Bush.

On behalf of that 70% of Americans, and a large portion of the people of planet Earth, I would like to say the following to George.

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

I know you don’t understand why I do not appreciate your efforts to make sure Americans do not live in peace and prosperity, considering how much effort you have put into making sure that we won’t for quite some time.

Just sit back, and go on vacation in Crawford for the next two months, (it’s not like you haven’t spent more time on vacation than any other President in history), and try not to screw anything else up.

You may think I am mad about things like invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, or not capturing Osama Bin Laden. Maybe you think I am mad about your administration eroding our civil liberties. Maybe you think it is all the lies and secrecy of your administration.

Maybe you think it is because of your response to hurricane Katrina. You did lose a major port city on your watch. I know you did not create hurricane Katrina, but your response was a little lacking. But then again, you did need to prioritize the many responsibilities on your agenda and figured that going to John McCains birthday was more important than taking care of New Orleans after a disaster.

Maybe you think I am upset over the largest expansion of the Federal government since the New Deal, or the massive budget surplus that you turned into the largest budget deficit in U.S. history. Maybe you think it is because our economy is in the tank, and gas prices have skyrocketed. Maybe you think it is the high unemployment, and the housing crisis.

I must admit, I am not pleased with you and your administration over all of the above mentioned issues.

No, my biggest reason that I disapprove of you and your administration is that as a Texan, I have never been so embarrased to say I am from Texas as I have been these last eight years. There used to be a time that it was cool to be from Texas. Thanks for ruining that for me.

Fortunately, I haven’t traveled to other countries, but if I did, I would be embarrassed to say I was an American as well. Thanks for ruining that for me too. At least I could save some face by telling people in those countries that I never voted for you, not even as Governor of Texas.

And since we are on the Texas thing, what the hell is up with your accent? I have never heard anyone with your accent. I can usually tell what region of Texas a person is from by the accent. Is it a combo of North Texas and Kennebunkport? East Texas and Martha’s Vineyard? I can’t tell.

So, in summary, I would like to express my feelings by quoting your eloquent, Vice President, Dick Cheney, “Go f**k yourself.”

P.S. Don’t mess with Texas.

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34 Responses to “Pre-Election Result Thoughts Regarding “Dubya””

  1. Sean Says:

    You should’ve ended it with a Clark W. Griswold “Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”….


  2. Capt. Ryan Vikedal Says:

    Agreed and Seconded, 100%! Way to go, Skippy!


    Capt. Ryan Vikedal reply on November 5th, 2008 11:19 pm:

    Ah hell, This was Michael, not Skippy… Uhm… Uh…

    Right, I’m done writing blog comments at 0100 after working 19 hours straight.

    After this one.


  3. Sweet Sister Morphine Says:

    It must be nice for you guys to have a head of state who you wouldn’t be too mortally embarrassed to take to a nice dinner party, for a change.


    Stickfodder reply on November 5th, 2008 12:37 am:

    Yeah because you know that if you took Bush to a nice dinner party the night would end with him shouting “Hay! who wants to see me do some body shots off this prostitute!”


    Papasawn reply on December 23rd, 2009 2:30 pm:

    Yeah, actually, I think you’ve confused Former President Bush with (deceased) Senator Kennedy, except in Kennedy’s case it would be end with “Oh yeah, where are my keys and can anyone point me to the shortcut accross the river?”

    President Obama, however, would be fun to take to a dinner party. You never know who would show up and cause a news scandal…


  4. podmunki Says:

    DEAR GOD…..Michiel you have hit a the nail on the head on so many thing in this rant. I only have one thing to sat though. It kinda sucks that people still refuse to acknowledge that you pen some of the rants that are posted. Here’s to hoping.

    captcha: skins Mr—-the cannibals are here, watch your back


  5. paula Says:

    Good lord, I don’t know what to say: this was the ninth presidential election I’ve voted in, but the very first time my candidate came out the winner…..

    Lemmee tell ya, this ‘winning’ stuff feels GOOD!

    captcha: Mexico left….. maybe that’s for W: consider leaving for Mexico!


  6. Andrew Says:

    All of the above reasons were enough to upset or irritate me a little.

    No, I’m embarased he was our president. Not just for all the reasons listed above, but also because he almost died eating a pretzel. And not one of those giant soft pretzels either, but a regular sized, pretzel shaped pretzel.

    So long Dubya!

    Captcha: George dethroned – Yup!


  7. Lt Ronald Says:

    Since this is the end of the bush era post, I will not mar the cutsie (but well writen) sentiment.

    I will however add my own Welcoming of Obama post, which I hope Skippy would publish post-haste.


  8. Dorkus Says:

    Couldn’t agree with you more about bush. However, being a native Texan myself i am always quick to point out that bush is not from Texas his accent is fake and his ranch is a joke.

    I also remember when he was governor and ran into a garbage truck while he was jogging. How the fuck do you run INTO a garbage truck?

    I’m just glad bush is almost gone and I won’t have to deal with him ever again.


  9. M578 Jockey Says:

    Thanks for the summation Michiel. Good riddance to W and Welcome Obama.

    I would also like to add a note on Bush’s horrendous record of care for our troops both overseas and at home. especially those who were injured in his immoral neverending war.

    Captcha: Clinton bad – But Dubya worse


  10. Ari Krauss Says:

    And i have never been so embarressed to be American in my entire life. A president deserves a certain amount of respect as an elected official in the highest office. How do the other nations of the world look at us when we treat our own president like this? I applaude bush, he made mistakes, but never once did he blame anyone else and never once did he complain about the burden of leading you insufferable whiners


    Minty reply on November 5th, 2008 12:28 pm:

    Why should we respect someone who doesn’t respect us?

    As for the rest of the world, they loathe W even more than we do, and they also loathe the entire country for electing him in the first place. Check out some non-US news sources and you’ll see what I mean.


    Ari Krauss reply on November 5th, 2008 4:20 pm:

    If you had an ounce of sense you would realize that the financial problems were having are the result of congress’s idiocy, not the presidents. Bill Clinton was president for 8 years before 9/11, when the planning for the attack was done. There could have been a lot more solutions and a lot less problems if the Democrats in Congress had worked with Bush to find solutions instead of working against him. The world does not loath America because we elected him and besides, who’s they? Iran?
    I can’t wait for January 20th so that when the problems continue, which they undoubtedly will, America’s favorite scapegoat is nowhere to be seen and Barack Obama and his friends in Congress will have no one to blame but themselves.


    Michiel reply on November 5th, 2008 4:27 pm:

    “the financial problems were having are the result of congress’s idiocy, not the presidents.”

    Oh… you mean the republican congress of the last 12 years? Way to make a case for your party.

    Ari Krauss reply on November 5th, 2008 5:06 pm:

    No the congress of the last 2 years. We were fine up until they started inducing companies to lend money and sell houses to people who had no business buying

    Michiel reply on November 5th, 2008 6:16 pm:

    Ummmmm… that has been going on for more than two years. It actually started back in the mid or late nineties if I remember correctly.

    Minty reply on November 5th, 2008 7:24 pm:

    Question: What did I say that led you to conclude that my and the rest of the world’s lack of respect for W. Bush has anything to do with 9/11 or the current financial crisis the US is undergoing? Absolutely nothing. The fact remains that blindly supporting someone who time and time again, through his own actions, has proven that they deserve no such support causes MORE problems than it prevents. This is true of all aspects of life, not just government officials.

    And by the way, there’s absolutely nothing in the Constitution that says we have to treat the president a special way just because he’s the president. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, our founding fathers thought the whole idea repugnant, because it smacked of the monarchism they so eagerly shrugged off.

    Steve "Ducky" reply on November 6th, 2008 3:04 pm:

    Ummm.. technically we didnt elect him in the first time.. i mean you *COULD* count the dead, the mentally incapable, and the felons that his cousin had “vote” for him. Hey.. notice they voted for W. I sure as hell voted Gore.

    On different note, his response to 9-11 was admirable.. but he should have brought Bin Laden back in either cuffs or with a sponge and bucket. He more than dropped the ball on everything from foreign relations to the economy.. in short, he failed at being the President of the United States of America.


  11. Greg Says:

    As a person who travels to other countries frequently, I can say that it has been extremely painful to be an American for the last 7 years. Imagine defending the latest blatant stupidity to random strangers.

    But the most painful part has been that the answer is ‘The administration simply does not care about the lives of anyone outside of their administration, including yours.’

    Pain, death, horror? Absolutely of no consequence except in what miniscule domestic political gain it will make.

    The straight out lying, absolutely obliterating any shred of credibility we might have in any situation? Doesn’t matter, as the admin simply does not consider anything outside of the Beltway to be of any importance.

    Who cares if more people believe Al Jazeera than do CNN? I’ll tell you who: the people walking into ambushes set by people who watch Al Jazeera do.

    Adios, Dubya. I hope your monument stands next to Hoover’s and Nixon’s.

    captcha: Klamesha ULRICH
    wtf is that?


  12. Phelps Says:

    As a Texas, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out either, Michiel. Have fun as the fourth Dixie Chick.


    TheShadowCat reply on November 5th, 2008 9:52 am:

    Phelps, I bet you were one of those people who bought a Dixie Chick CD so you could throw it away. Like they cared. You just lined their wallets. Why should they give a rat’s ass what the hell you did with the CD afterwords?

    captcha: injustice Si
    Pretty much says it all with the out going administration for minorities.


    David reply on November 5th, 2008 11:11 am:

    I don’t know about Phelps, but I’m the kind of guy who will leech torrents of Dixie Chick albums just so I can throttle the uploads and then pipe the files to /dev/null.

    Used to do that with Metallica, until I got bored with it. Downloaded gigs of Metallica only to delete it all and download it again. And delete it again.


  13. TheShadowCat Says:

    I saw a great sig line some time ago:

    The second stupidest thing the American people have ever done was to elect George W. Bush as president.

    The stupidest was to re-elect him.


  14. Phelps Says:

    Nope, never bought a Chicks album, even before that. I’m not that stupid. If I was, I would do something like trying to make a pop career after sabotaging my own wildly successful C&W stint.


  15. Janice Says:

    His fake accent has bugged me for years. If only the accent was the worst thing about him. I’ve lost track of the number of people I’ve met in my travels who, upon discovering that I’m a Texan, have made it clear how uncool that is. And he’s as far from a good ol’ boy as you can get, yet most Texans fell for that faker.

    captcha: Arizona ladder…somewhat appropriate


  16. Mike Says:

    I was raised in Indiana with Republican values. But most of my adult life has been spent in Texas. I consider myself a Texan and a Liberal, so consider the source. George f—ked-up an oil company, a baseball team, the second largest state and now the most powerful country in the world. He has made people ashamed to be Texans and Americans. I have traveled overseas and America’s status has diminished. I loath Bush and Chaney. Both should be jailed for what they have done. So for you conservative, right wing, Republican die hards, bigots; Note that the bush legacy is a person of color in the White House. He finally did something right.


    Mike reply on November 5th, 2008 2:02 pm:

    Let me add, George and Dick has ruined the Republican party too.


    SKD reply on November 5th, 2008 2:49 pm:

    No, the Republican party ruined the Republican party. If they had governed according to the values and principles which the party was founded upon then we likely would not be in this mess.

    You want real change you can believe in? Take the power which the federal government has assumed over the last century and put it back in the hands of the states and people where it belongs.
    Get rid of the complex tax code and put into place something which any public school graduate can understand, I favor the Fair Tax but you are welcome to back whatever reform you like.
    Stop reducing the expectations for our educational institutions and start raising them so that we can justify spending more money per student than any other country in the world by having the best educated populace in the world.


  17. Speed Says:

    I used to work with a bunch of people that wore their Democrat Party membership on their sleeves. I personally don’t care much for the parties and tend to vote across the spectrum according to my own twisted and nefarious values. When they’d start grouching about Bush I’d join in saying that I was unhappy too and echo their comments to finish with, “He’s just to dang liberal!” I just loved the deer in the headlights looks. Who says shock value ain’t funny?


  18. Agent Alex Says:

    This is precisely why I almost didn’t vote: Politics divides the people and causes arguments that go nowhere.

    CAPTCHA: Carriers Judicial – Say wha???


    preach reply on November 6th, 2008 11:43 pm:

    I still maintain that too many of our forfathers have blead and died to give us the privelage of voteing to simply elect not to vote, even if it is also our right to not participate.


  19. Papasawn Says:

    Hate to break this to you guys, it’s been uncool to be a texan since LOOOOOOOONG before Bush came into office. Ever wonder why “remember the Alamo” is still bandied about? Because Texans like to recall the peak of their last glory days.

    At least you guys aren’t as jacked up as california though. It’s pitiful that if I took my current property back to the state of California, where I was born, where even pot is legal, I’d be an instant fellon simply because I own a rifle. Nice.

    Captcha: moth tion – a President Bushism…


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