Due to the fact that I have a website that people read, I occasionally get letters asking for my help with something. Being me, I usually delete these emails because what the heck have random internet people ever done for me?
But occasionally I get a letter addressing an issue so important that I have absolutely no choice but to set aside some time to deal with it.
And this weekend I received an email concerning just such an issue. The sort of issue that I just could not in good conscience ignore.
And so Marty writes:
Owing to circumstances beyond my control (described here, http://teratomarty.livejournal.com/105530.html ), I’ve recently come into possession of a large box of heterosexual porn, on VHS tape. Since I’m rather flamingly gay, and afraid of breast implants, I have no use for same. Since this is exactly the sort of thing Anysoldier.com tells us specifically NOT to send to the troops, I was wondering if you knew of a better use for such a thing. Either deserving recipient/s or targets for the epic pranking suggested by the sheer volume of smut.
Thank you. I quite enjoy reading your continuing adventures on the List.
Well first of all despite what those liars at Anysoldier said, I think that a big box of porn would be welcome by most deployed soldiers. You just have to put the tapes into a case for some other sort of movie like Carebears, Veggietales, or something. That way it can slip past the censors.
But I will leave this question up to my readers, what should Marty do with his giant box of porn?