Archive for July 14th, 2008

Its the start of the week, medic which as you know by now, ed means that I have a new set of things that someone somewhere learned that they should not do.

(Submitted by YN Torralva)

• I must never call your petty officer first class a dipstick no matter how much he is one.

• If I must, pill then I should try to insure that he is not within earshot at the time.

• I must never say that my chief is wrong. my chief is always right Always

• I must never say my ships Master Chief that he is a dumb ass and you will throw him overboard for being one ( that will get you hack time and that ain’t fun)

• I must never tell the rookie sailors that the shellback ceremony is just a cover for all the gay sex that we have at sea. (That got me more time in hack and i was not very popular with the new sailors on the ship)

• Man Love Thursdays do not apply on a submarine.

• Launching a football from the catapult of an aircraft carrier is not allowed. Especially when the CO and the XO are watching from vultures row.

• Its even worse when you cant catch the ball after it blows back then they just start laughing at you.

• I will never mistake a chief for an ensign. That will equal KP and KP sucks.

• I will not piss of a yeoman. The last time I did that I ended up not being able to leave on liberty when we hit Okinawa.

• When I am in port in Japan it is not my mission to liberate all the schoolgirls from their clothes.
• I will not dare seals to jump off the side of a destroyer.

• I will not dare the Gunners Mate to a shooting challenge while out at sea. It is a waste of ammo and the GM will always kick your ass.

• Our core values are not to rape, scrape, and pillage.

• Even if your Chief taught it to you.

• It is not wise to mention said core values in front of your CO.

• Especially when said Chief is standing next to the CO.

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I know I should have put this up over a week ago, but I got sick, then busy at work, and so here we are.

So I got to go to Wizard World Chicago two weeks ago, and spent way too much, and proved that I am an irredeemable and colossal nerd once again.

While I was there, I got to meat Jennie Breeden, who was nice, but looks almost nothing like she draws herself in her comic.

And I got to meet Ryan Sohmer and Lar Desouza. They were also nice, and look remarkably like they portray themselves in comic form. I actually was able to recognize Lar on sight because he looked so much like his drawing of himself. It was almost creepy.

I also got to meet Gary Reed, who wrote the first zombie themed product that I ever got my hands on. So that was like getting to meet Santa Claus. Except with more flesh eating monsters.

I also got to see a few new things that turned out to be pretty good.

The first is a comic called Jobnik. This is a brutally honest autobiography of an American girl who enlisted in the Israeli Army. I thought it was a good read, and its worth checking out. I’ve been writing online for a little over a year, and I have never, and probably will never, put as much of myself into anything that I write as Miriam Libicki has.

The next interesting thing I picked up was this bizarre independent comic called Peep Its more or less a documentary about how cute baby chickens are malevolence personified, and then portrays them running amok over an unsuspecting humanity. There’s lots of drawings of adorable cartoon chicks covered in gore. Good stuff.

But the best thing that I picked up was a series called Deep Fried. The creator describes it as Mad Magazine with South Park humor. I just know its one of the few things I’ve ever read that where I was simultaneously laughing out loud and cringing. One of the regular features is a post-apocalyptic version of Charlie Brown which is one of the most inspired bits of comedy that I have seen in a long time.

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