A quick note on names.

Just in case people haven’t noticed up until this point, I never use real names when telling my Army stories. This is because of two reasons.

The first is to protect the innocent. And guilty for that matter. I figure that some of the people I am telling stories about might still be in the service. Some might be in military-related jobs on the civilian side now. And not everybody has a sense of humor. I’d hate to see someone start getting crap or miss out on a promotion opportunity because I told a story that put them in an unflattering light. Or even just because they have a grouchy commander who doesn’t think Skippy’s List was very funny.

Even if they were in the habit of saying really stupid things, or acting like an idiot, I like to imagine that they grew up and got over it since then.

Also I try to remember all the idiotic things I have done, and how much I would hate it if someone put those all over the internet for everyone to laugh at me.

The second reason is that many of these stories happened a very long time ago. And I used to drink a lot. And I honestly don’t remember everyone’s name. Now get off my lawn.

On another note, I am beginning to reach empty on my “Magical bin of hilarious guest stories”. Which means that you guys aren’t sending any in. So get on that.

As you may have noticed I have been using my site as a forum for soldiers and veterans to share their funny stories. And so I get stuff emailed to me I read through it, and put the best ones I find up here.

Some of the stories I get sent are funny, but not written in a particularly comedic manner. Up to this point I have gone back and forth with the original writers to try to help them polish it up. Unfortunately this is beginning to eat up a bunch of my time, when it would probably be faster for me to just re-write the thing.

And so that is the new policy on submissions. If you send me a story, I will edit it, and possibly re-write a portion of it, to make it a funnier read. You will still get credit for writing the story, I will just mention that I helped you to tell it.

Ever since I have started writing this blog, I have have started getting an increase in traffic. And the increase in traffic has in turn lead to an increase in questions being emailed to me. I don’t mind, I like the attention and I certainly have no problem sharing any experiences I have in both the military and the game industry. But I do wind up getting similar questions a lot. So to combat that problem, and to help provide a resource for people who might want more information on those subjects, I have created two new pages.

So you want to be a soldier?

and

So you want to make video games?

From now on, all questions I receive about either subject are going up there, unless the submitter specifically asks me not to.

Also, I’m leaving comments on because as unlikely as it sounds, I don’t necessarily know everything, and sometimes someone else may have other helpful ideas.

Whelp, it looks like I’m going to unveil the first guest writer soon. And before anyone says anything, Michiel doesn’t count as a guest. He’s pretty much moved in and has his feet up on the coffee table.

But due to some of the submissions I have received, I feel that I may need to lay out some ground rules.

Things that are good to email me:

1. Funny military stories
2. Funny stories in general
3. Links to amusing things
4. Treasure maps. (Hey you never know)
5. Additions for the “Friends of Skippy” list
6. Suggestions for things you would like for me to write about
7. A picture of you wearing a Squid Pie t-shirt
8. Questions that you would like me to answer
9. New Skippy’s List Variants you have found
10. Suggestive pictures (if you are a woman)

Things that are bad to email to me:

1. Fanfic
2. Even if it’s Skippy’s List themed
3. Even if “I swear you’ll like this one”
4. Suggestive pictures (if you are not a woman)
5. Anything that violates OPSEC.
6. Please do not confess to any criminal acts. There is a difference between light-hearted mischief and felony assault
7. Especially don’t do 5 or 6 from government email accounts
8. Please do not make me an “accessory after the fact”
9. Do not make a transcript of anything you and your friends did while drinking “epic quantities of peppermint schnapps”
10. To the cosplay folks with the camcorder: Bonus points for creativity, now please never do that again

Not funny legal junk:

Material submitted to appear on Skippy’s List is still your property, thus you retain the copyright. Nobody reads the legal stuff, so I bet you’re not even reading this. I will only use your submitted material on this web site unless I receive written permission from you to use it elsewhere. I like turtles. I will not claim your material as my own. Please don’t send other people’s work. Seriously, no fanfic. If you wish, I will put yoursubmission on my site with your email and a link to your website. Unless I don’t feel like it for some reason. Your material may be edited for grammatical and spelling corrections. Void where prohibited by law. I’m not paying for submissions at this time, and am not likely to start in the future. This is just a way to share some funny stories with the world on the Intertubes. La zona blanca está para el cargamento y descargar solamente.

I have thought about it long and hard and decided that I am going to allow other people to write for my site. This doesn’t mean that I will be writing any less. This just means that in addition to my weekly update there will be other new material as well. I have a few writers lined up who will be making their debut shortly, but I am still looking for people with funny military stories. If you have any, and think you might like to write a post or two here, please send me an email.

I’ve just got a few quick things today.

First of all, the following link:

Geek Hierarchy

I am amused because the author put Fanfic in the same spot that I did. Now for the record, before I get piles of angry email, or links to examples of “good” fanfic. I’m not saying fanfic makes you a bad person. (Although it may be an indicator.) Just that I am a tremendous turbonerd, and even I think fanfic is a tad overboard on the geekiness. I do understand there is such a thing as good fanfiction. But unfortunately a lousy 98.5% of the fanfic writing community make the rest of them look bad.

Next up, now that I have angered and annoyed many of my readers, I would like to point out that my internet store is now open. Remember that I am donating a portion of the sales to FUN For Our Troops.

So if you don’t buy a t-shirt, that’s like taking fun away from our soldiers. If this works out I will start making other t-shirts available.

And as long as I’m on the subject of things to do with the site, I’ve had another idea. Since I only update once a week, I am considering letting other people write pieces to post here. Not just anyone randomly, mind you. I mean someone submits something and if I think it’s funny, I post it up here for everyone. Does that seem like a good idea, or a stupid one? I mean on the one hand, it would probably make my site more entertaining to have more comedic pieces on here. But on the other hand it means that some person who is not me becomes the center of attention, and let’s face it, that would be a tragedy.

That’s what my new list is going to be.  Things I can’t do now that I’m married.