Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Yesterday the 5 year old girl barged into the bathroom while my husband was taking a shower. He tells her to leave, because he’s naked.

“Whatever. I’ve already SEEN your penis.”

That’s Skippy’s daughter.

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So, we adopted a kitten a few months back. We’re all about the spay and neuter pets thing, but we missed the deadline for her biological clock.

Understand that she’s a very social cat that likes all people. But last week, there was a full day where she wanted nothing to do with anyone that wasn’t my husband. And there was lots of cat moaning and rubbing and doing all the weird things cats do when they are in heat. Most of which was directed at Skippy.

He was starting to get a little weirded out by it. At one point, Skippy looks at her and says, “Cat, I am SO not gonna get it on with you.”

Later, a male friend came over. Our female cat proceeded to divide her attention between Skippy and his friend. The moaning and rubbing against them continued. She eventually sat between the two of them as they watched a movie, alternating her affections between the two.

Friend: “Dude, what’s up with your cat?”

Skippy: “Kitty wants a three way.”

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Here’s the last of it, for those of you too lazy busy to go to the original site. And then I’ll start posting more original stuff here.

BTW, did you know I have my own blogs? I write my own stuff (far less often than I want to) at FacedownInGoldfishCrackers. I’m not half as funny as my husband (I think, though others have told me they think I’m hilarious) and I tend to be more political and introspective and stuff.

I also write on my business site. I write for website owners on all the non-technical aspects of website ownership (although I’m planning to start writing more design and dev stuff for that part of my audience too).

I love to write! I just never have time, what with having a day job, running a business, and herding twins. And a kitten. And a ferret. And Skippy. And there’s World of Warcraft to play, and I just started Diablo 3, and…squirrel! Hey, I’ve got a book written too. It’s in the editing phase now.

And now, for more stuff Skippy Said.
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Hi Everyone,

Here’s some more I’m bringing over from Skippy Sez. Since I’ll be posting here regularly instead, I’m going to eventually just shut that site down. At the least, redirect it over here.

Here’s more stuff my husband Skippy has said.

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Skippy: “I’ve discovered the pizza cutter has a finger guard similar to a fighting knife. This should in no way concern you.”

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Hi! *waves*.

My name is Janice Schwarz, known to you all here as “Mrs. Skippy”. (Outside of here, I’m known as GeekArtist. Or I use my real name; you can find me. Anyone that can’t find me online isn’t looking hard enough.)

Because my husband has been really busy with his game business, I’ll to start posting post on his behalf.

MWUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Ok, actually, I started this site called Skippy Sez, Life With Skippy: The Things Skippy Doesn’t Write, But His Wife Does. Yes, this is stuff he actually says, in real life. I don’t have enough of a way with words to make this shit up.

But I neglected to tell anyone about it. So ya know, it sat there. So I’m going to start posting those here instead.

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A friend of mine shared this video with me via Facebook this morning.

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Yesterday I had to run some errands with the kids.  Specifically I had to go to a store for my wireless carrier and try to figure out what we could do about the fact that the touch screen has begun to die on my cell phone.

And thus I got to spend my morning dealing with fussy infants who didn’t understand how technology works, or how a store works, and generally didn’t see why I was insisting on getting my phone working when there were other ways that they wanted to spend the day.

Also I had my kids with me, which didn’t help matters.

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Several things have changed here at Casa De Skippy in the past week or so. The first thing that changed is that my %#@*$& art history class finally ended. For those keeping score at home, I’m taking online classes in Graphic Design, and for some reason that included spending a little over a month pretending anyone in the history of the earth has actually given a damn about art history. Basically I got to spend many many hours just filling page after page of utter bullshit. And so I had been less inclined to spend what little free time I had left the same way. And so the site suffered.

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In our house the babies room is the absolute farthest point from the master bedroom. Because of this, we have a crib set up in our bedroom. The logic is, each kid will usually wake up at least once a night and that kid will wake up the other one. And so to prevent us from having to cross the entire house several times, we just set them up across the room.

Which means that I was sleeping peacefully, minding my own business and slowly dozing off to sleep, when I heard a noise.

To fully appreciate the noise I need to give you a little piece of combat aircraft trivia.

The Airforce has a ground support plane called the A-10 Thunderbolt. Amongst the many impressive features of this plane, is the front mounted gun, called a GAU-8 Avenger. The Avenger is an automatic cannon that is design to more or less cut main battle tanks in half. If shoots about seventy rounds a second, and each one of those is a giant shell capable of going completely through a large orphanage without slowing appreciably. When it fires, the individual “pops” of the rounds going off are so close together that you cannot make them out. It all melds together into one larger sound, which comes off rather like a thick set of sail canvas being torn apart.
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