Military Intelligence Systems Maintainer/Integrator lIST
(Submitted by PFC Van Emden)
I’m in AIT to be a 35T, and its fucking boring but some funny shit happens…
1. If it looks good and tastes good, you’ll probably end up at sick call next week with “strep throat” (not mine)
2. When asked who you would next like to give a brief for class its not a good idea to say ” SGT. C, I choose you” and throw an invisible Pokeball at him.
3. Don’t clear hotel rooms with Nerf guns if your not staying in them.
4. Since this is TRADOC we aren’t supposed to party, so Don’t throw a hotel party between 2 CSM’s rooms.
5. Don’t pull a Superman impersonation by jumping off the back of a moving HUMMWV, the ground is stronger than your will. (not mine)
6. If he has a 2nd LT bar on it means hes an officer and I should not tell him to “Shut the fuck up…Sir. I got this.” While on an ARM range.
7. Never attempt to prove a COL wrong, even if you are, in fact, right.
8. My senior PSG has never been to Georgia, therefore the Charlie Daniels song doesn’t apply to him, and I should not suggest that it does again.
9. While in Routers class its not advisable to suddenly stand up and shout, ” Oh my god, we’re in trouble… What are we gonna do, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??? (voice change) I’m going to do my laundry. Can I please have some change?”
10. It is not advisable to call cadences that are derogatory to paratroopers, in front of Airborne officers… They don’t like it.
11. I must not pass out while pissing for a piss test. (not mine)
12. Never imply that Texas sucks when your entire chain of command is from Texas.
13.Must not tell the CQ SSG that she can’t say that your drunk because “you’re drunker” It doesn’t go over well the next day when everyone’s hungover.
14. Hookers do not, nor will they ever, accept food stamps.
15. I must not yell “Hail Satan,” at children on the side of the road when they’re holding religious signs.
16. Jedi is not a religion that the Army recognizes and I should stop telling people that I am a Sith Lord.
17. Its not funny to shut peoples routers off remotely, even if he is a complete douche-bag.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Sooooo…it IS okay to clear hotel rooms with Nerf guns if you ARE staying in them?
November 9th, 2009 at 6:41 am
“12. Never imply that Texas (or any other state) sucks unless you have lived there for at least a year.”
There now, I fixed that for you.
November 9th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Actually Jedi is a religion the Army DOES recognise. We have 3 guys here who are “Jedi’s”. And I am at Ft. We-got-ya too.
J
November 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Legs aren’t allowed to call airborne cadences without getting an ass-beating. That is the rule.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I query the sanity of anyone who willingly jumps out of a perfectly serviceable plane with a silk hankerchief strapped to their back.
Captcha : Taint amputated. It’s a good thing I’m a sweet innocent Canadian and not thinking dirty things at all.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Addendum to 5, do not jump onto the back of a moving GOV, especially when the boss is watching. (Lunchtime and I didn’t want to get left behind.)
November 9th, 2009 at 10:25 am
I don’t see what’s wrong with #6, you did still address him as sir.
The problem with #16 is that the Sith are not Jedis.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Hyle you ran away from the airborne. You have no room to talk now.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Yay, I get to say that Texas sucks (for me) and same with Maryland!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:28 am
They are not and never will be sane. I promise you this as a girl marrying one of the Para’s. Bloody good fun to be around, but completely and without reserve they are frickin nutters. Oh yes, they will kick your arse, but give them a good scrap and they’ll always be your mate.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
We used to get away with #6 all the time in the Navy. But then. we were nuke engineers… we were… “special”.
(By special I mean that a number of regular navy types refer to nukes as the “trenchcoat mafia”…)
The key was to be right when you did it. So long as you were right, the chain basically couldn’t do anything to you because you were handling a nuclear reactor at the time. :)
November 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Pfft. I’m in college now. I may go back after I get my degree or two.
November 9th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
There is nothing perfectly good about any plane ran and maintained by the US Airforce. My neighbor, who is in the Airforce reserves calls us the smart ones.
Besides, sanity is highly overrated.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Oddly enough Jedi is a religion, a guy in my squad had ‘Jedi Knight’ on his dog tags
November 10th, 2009 at 2:13 am
I had Jediism on my Dog tags the whole 15 months in Iraq. The Chaplin thought it was fraking funny. My next ones are going to say Gamer as in the Church of Gaming. http://churchofgaming.com/
November 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
what is this ‘sanity’ of which you speak?
November 11th, 2009 at 2:02 am
I have a friend who volunteered for Airborne training, and was asked by his sergeant the traditional question. “Why the hell would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?”
His answer, which stumped the sergeant, was “Well, the door was open.”
November 11th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Addendum to #7. Never tell the CSM he is wrong, and then prove it. Infront of the BDE staff during the Quartely Training Brief. He will not be amused and will curse you to a lifetime at FT Huachuca…
18 years and counting…
November 11th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
RE #5–see, the whole problem with that is it wasn’t done properly at the outset. You don’t jump out the back of a HUMMWV and engage in a contest of wills with the ground. You throw yourself out of the back of the HUMMWV, aim for the ground, and then miss.
November 14th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Booo! Was your reservist neighbor ever AD? Because if not then I’m not suprised that the work he saw was sub-par…
November 14th, 2009 at 7:00 am
You mean by thinkin about the luggage you lost a few years ago at Heathrow, or seeing a couch you haven’t owned since college? Because I’ve heard that works…
25 MAY is rapidly approaching. Huzzah.
November 14th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Maybe that should have been #42, not #5..
November 14th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Exactly!
November 14th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Yeah, that would have worked too.
April 25th, 2011 at 4:34 pm
i agree to this. but when did we get refered to as the trenchcoat mafia?
April 25th, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Take a gander at the PBS special called “Carrier”. In it, a couple of AT chicks are sitting on the mess decks getting interviewed, and they refer to the nukes as the “Trenchcoat Mafia”.
April 25th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
ah, ok. i just asked on of the instructors today thought while studying (in the Rickover if you were there, happiest place on earth) and he said it was refering to when the matrix and all the vampire things came out back in the 90’s. and everyone dressed up like neo and such. thanks though
February 25th, 2014 at 3:24 pm
Nukes are the people who work around the reactor, right?
February 25th, 2014 at 3:33 pm
Yes. Yes they are.
March 11th, 2026 at 10:03 am
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