Physics Will Save You From the Zombie Apocalypse
So it turns out what contrary to what I had always assumed about surviving the walking plague that is flesh eating zombies, medicine heading out to the countryside might not be your best option.
Physicist David Cassi has evidently proven it. With SCIENCE.
Evidently a large shopping mall, or some other kind of complexly shaped building will make it harder for the zombies to find you.
Now I just need to find the mall in my area with the most guns stores & restaurants. And the least amount of public entrances.
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September 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I KNEW IT!
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September 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Unfortunately, there are no malls with good gun stores attached to them in the Dallas area. The closest you will get is Stonebriar Mall with a Dick’s Sporting Goods. There gun department is only OK. Though, on second thought, they do have a great shotgun collection and plenty of shotgun ammo. However, Stonbriar is not a complexly shaped mall.
The mall will be good for short term survival. However, for long term survival, I would want a place in a box canyon that could be easily sealed from outside shambling walkers.
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September 30th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Now I want a house in the country with the biggest hedge maze I can possibly grow around it. As an added bonus, you have line-of-sight to anything moving in the maze from upper floors of the house.
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TD reply on September 30th, 2009 4:41 pm:
That’s one of the best ideas I’ve heard this week.
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lukazaz reply on October 1st, 2009 7:25 am:
agree….
that way we can loot the stores… and kill zombies… OMG ITS HEAVEN…. yeah I dont think I would like it I would stock to farm house or my best choice gun / ammo factory….
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September 30th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Get into a warehouse, block off areas, fill it with mines and other various traps, find a way to travel above the maze for safe way to get supplies, and you should be able to sit put and wait for the zed-heads to give up. In which case, you would eventually die from starvation, or cabin fever. You know what, i’m going for the bus/swords fighting the bastards and taking back earth option. I can never stand staying put for days on end. And yes, I do go for walks on occasion, and I don’t just sit in front of this robotic link to the outside world all day.
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September 30th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I think an island would be one of the better options. Espcially Mackinaw Island. For those of you who don’t know its in Lake Huron which is one of the Great Lakes. Since I’m from the UP we have these freaking huge snowplows. When the appocalypse happens I’ll get one of those and drive to the docks. Anything that gets in my way will get owned. Then once on Mackinaw Island Fort Mackinaw will be my base of operations. What else could be better than an real military fort? Plus since its a big tourist attraction there will be lots of supplies. On top of that docks can be destroyed so there is only one port. That way anyone entering can be monitored for zombie bites. Also the currents around the island are strong, so even if the zombies could somehow breathe underwater they couldn’t make it to the island. It’s the perfect zombie appocalypse plan.
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ineedhelpbad reply on September 30th, 2009 6:51 pm:
Everybody knows zombies don’t swim, they simply walk on the bottom.
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Chris reply on October 1st, 2009 8:03 am:
Even so, they would not necessarily be smart enough to be able to navigate the completely different landscape on the bottom of a lake with powerful currents shifting their directions and the landscape over time. So you should be more than able to defend the island with regular patrols around the perimeter.
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Ben reply on October 4th, 2009 7:05 am:
I know zombies only walk on the bottom, that’s why I mentioned the powerful currents, they wouldn’t be able to make it to the island.
September 30th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Zombies are dead. They don’t need to breathe.
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Stickfodder reply on September 30th, 2009 9:50 pm:
Oh damn stupid captcha. That was meant to be a response to Ben.
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Anon reply on October 1st, 2009 5:23 am:
As soon as you start advancing scientific arguments, it falls apart.
They’re dead so they don’t need to breathe, sure. But they walk around and moan so they’re not dead in that sense. Muscles require oxygen and glucose/ketones to operate so I’d imagine breathing would be kind of necessary, even for the virally-reanimated-previously-dead type zombie.
Now once you get into supernatural zombies, all bets are off. But then who can say what they can and can’t do.
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October 1st, 2009 at 5:18 am
Unfortunetly there’s a huge flaw in the premise here, and that’s that Zombies travel randomly. Insufficient study has been done to determine if the Zacks move randomly or in some sort of complex search pattern. Or if they actually zero in on prey. There’s also other survivors to consider, be they friend or foe.
I would suggest that the best place to go would depend on the individual. Go to your home terrain, the place you know. I would be lost in a city, I don’t live in them and I don’t know all their intricacies. I know the my woods, I know what sounds are important, what smells don’t belong and what does and does not move correctly. So whatever the “experts” say, I say go for the home field advantage.
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Toy Soldier CPlus reply on October 1st, 2009 8:26 am:
Yes, this. That was the big flaw I noticed initially as well. Granted, zombies could, and may likely, move in a random pattern, but once they find prey, they would likely begin to follow and hunt the prey. In such a case, one’s ability to lose a zed in a complex structure will depend entirely on how efficient the zed is as a hunter. If it has reduced cognitive functions (problem solving, navigating mazes, remembering where you’ve been, etc.), then hiding in a complex structure could be to your advantage. However, if the zed possesses even standard cognitive functions for hunting, you would need to rely entirely on your ability to escape or kill the zed, as it would be working to find you in the maze, eliminating areas it’s already been and where it has already searched. It could become lost, but that is not necessarily a reliable strategy for survival. So, yeah, definitely go for the terrain you know and can defend.
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October 1st, 2009 at 9:08 am
Gunstore nearby? No this is the UK so not check.
Complicated shopping mall? …Umm no it’s sort of a capital ‘I’ shape with four entrances….so again not check.
Fuck!
Oh wait Homebase is reasonably close by….mmm a Kukri and power tools may just work.
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LoC reply on October 1st, 2009 12:07 pm:
two words:
cricket
bat
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October 1st, 2009 at 9:42 am
I call BS on this study. Obviously the Physicist is in cohoots with the zombies. If you go to a mall, walmart, etc you are simply going to be a ham sandwich for the Zeds. He probably wants to kill off all the men so he can score a supermodel or something.
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October 1st, 2009 at 9:51 am
Err… guys? All the study talked about was a “random walker” model. Not Zombiecalypse. Therefore the study completely ignored significant issues regarding zombies. Like the fact that when TEOTWAWKI comes, everybody will be heading to the malls. (Or the fact that if you are able to head for someplace when the world ends, you are not immobile, so the study no longer applies to your situation. But really, the numerous hazards of the mall approach are my main point here.)
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October 1st, 2009 at 12:14 pm
…I think I may have to up the ante a little in calling BS on this one.
I don’t think I’ve once seen a group of zombies in media who don’t zero in on prey and try to walk/claw through anything between themselves and said prey. Even the strongest mall complex windows will eventually collapse under a zombie onslaught.
…I’m still searching for an abandoned asylum enclosed by 10 foot high wrought-iron fencing I can flee to.
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October 5th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I think that the zeds follow a random walk pattern when not in line of sight of food for a few minutes. If they see(/smell/sense) you, they might be able to move in your direction, even chasing you around corners in some cases. However, when they don’t know where you are, I doubt that they would have a search pattern.
captcha: With male. Who is with a male? The zeds? That would be bad. zeds with power tools!
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October 28th, 2011 at 2:28 pm
damn, in the town near to my family’s summer place there’s a small store where there is a small cafe and a sports store attached to it, and in the sports store? shotguns, hunting rifles, axes and stuff, and across the street there’s an agricultural store where they sell chainsaws. The town? Very small and almost dead, literally (most of the residents are elderly folks)
And of course the town is some 350 miles away, then again, I DO live practically next to an army base…
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