Archive for February, 2009

I like history. I’m nowhere near a history buff, but it interests me enough that I take classes in it when I have the opportunity to do so. Anyways, with the recent global political climate, I thought it’d be appropriate to retell a story my professor related to us. It’s pretty easy to take this particular event and apply it to what’s happening today, so yay cyclical history. Forgive me in advance if I don’t have specific names or dates but I do not have a perfect memory.

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With apologies to the non-gamers, who will probably not understand what most of this means.

(Submitted by Soulex)

1. Hunters are not supposed to melee, do not claim to be a melee hunter and get in the thick of battle.

2. Warriors are for tanking first; if you do not have a shield you are a dumbass and will not get groups.

3. Do not report the warlock for “ninjaing” soul shards.

4. Becoming hated with goblins for the Bloodsail Buccaneers outfit is worth it.

5. Using those furry bear fist weapons, and having a bear mask makes you a badass, and you should go gank noobs.

6. So does a wedding dress and a broom with fiery enchant.

7. Completing a raid using a Mining Pick and a BlackSmith hammer is not acceptable, even if your GM didn’t notice until the last fight.

8. Even if you did it because they gave a good 1h to a hunter who wont ever use it.

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So according to the news a few weeks ago there was a zombie outbreak in Texas.

Which was followed a little while later by a velociraptor attack in Illinois.

I will now explain how this is the worst possible combination of things that could happen.

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More years ago than I like to admit I was stationed in Sarajevo, Bosnia. While I was there we lived in what had originally been some sort of office building, but had now been converted into a barracks.
Overall as housing during a deployment goes we had it pretty good. There was a cafeteria built into the building, which meant that we got hot food served to us three times a day. We had heat and AC. There was a television room with a VCR, pool tables, and it even had a bar.  It sure beat the hell out of living in a tent.

Of course, this place did have the occasional water problems, which have been discussed earlier.  One of the other problems was that there was generally enough hot water for maybe three people to take a shower in the morning.  Which meant that you got to take a lot of cold showers.

Now at this time people who haven’t been in the military are probably going “No hot water?  That sucks!”.  People who have been in the military, especially those who have been deployed to the Middle East over the past several years are probably going: “You had a bar and you are complaining about the water?  You can just fuck right off Skippy.”

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Oh God how I wish I were making this shit up.

Thankfully, professional ed my experiences with this soldier were brief, asthma and this is the last (or nearly last) experience that I had with him. Again, stomach we were deployed in Orgun-e (read my earlier post if you need to know where that is), and again I was on tower guard with him.

Thankfully, we had a rotating guard shift, which left us with a different person each time (or at least a welcome respite between shifts with Johnson). Due to the fact that this was almost six years ago, I forget if this was before or after the spoon incident, but it was the same deployment at the same base.

In addition to our tower duties, each of us had an assigned duty around our platoon area to help things along and keep the boredom away. Mine was the maintenance and repair of the tents, as well as the restocking of provisions for missions. PVT Johnson’s duty was simply to make sure that the arctic stoves had enough fuel in them to continually run. It was snowing out, and this is an important task, but a relatively simple one.

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Note from submitter:

I have done most of these, but those that I have not personally done others have. I retain my job because I am polite to the customers (within their hearing) and “dementedly funny” the rest of the time. (I quote my department boss there.) Some insanity is, I firmly believe, absolutely vital for surviving a 9 hour shift with a bunch of people that you might not spend time with if you were not forced to work together. Most places I have worked are worthy of lists like this, and I believe that every employee ever could put a list together. Unless you are a sad, dull, boring horrible person. In which case do six to eight tequila slammers and then try again. You might not do any better, but at least it will seem more amusing because you are drunk.

(Submitted by Catherine)

• Not to build forts with empty boxes
• Not to build castles with empty boxes
• Not to leave a list of employee names for the manager with the heading “need firing”
• Even if they do.
• I am not allowed to declare martial law.
• Not to refer to the stockboys as “grunts”

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So a little while ago my wife notices that we were getting significant traffic from my ranking at The Heart Attack Grill. And since she has a web design business going we figure the extra traffic could hep her out too.

So if it’s not too much trouble would you mind clicking on the other link for her?  I mean it is her birthday and all. (And now I can get a free burger too.)

Also, if you are in the market for web design, try checking out GeekArtist Web Solutions.  She pretty much does everything here, except for the writing.  And presumably you think this site is pretty good, since you are reading this and all.

T-minus 2 hours to bovine induced cardiac implosion.  Yeeehaw!

That’s right, I said “yeehaw”.  Deal with it.

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Here’s a little story I’ve witnessed over here in my stay in Iraq.  One of those: you had to see it to believe it.

There was this kid named Anderson in my unit.  Anderson was your typical weird kid.  Not that weird kids are bad, I’m a weird kid, but this guy made you think “ah, crap…he’s a serial killer.” And I wouldn’t have thought twice if the person standing next to me when Anderson introduced himself to my platoon said exactly what I was thinking.  Anderson was also dumb.  And by dumb I mean date the BDE Col’s underage daughter dumb, AND had the “balls” to tell her dad to *insert long line of expletives regarding masturbation here*.  A PV2 telling an 0-6 what he can and will do to his daughter…hrm…

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Well a whole bunch of you clicked on the link for me. Six hundred and fifteen of you at the time of this posting. So thanks for hooking me up.

Thanks to your efforts, I now not only get to take my wife out to eat for free, but I get extra advertising off of the Heart Attack Grill site. (Number 12 position, Woo!)

Of course there were 2,700 unique visitors to my site the day I put the link up.  So you other 2,085 bastards can just go piss off.  What is it you hate more: birthdays, hamburgers, or sexy nurse outfits?  It’s positively un-American to hate those things.  I hope you are ashamed of yourself.

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