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Important Guidelines

April 9th, 2008 by skippy

Whelp, it looks like I’m going to unveil the first guest writer soon. And before anyone says anything, Michiel doesn’t count as a guest. He’s pretty much moved in and has his feet up on the coffee table.

But due to some of the submissions I have received, I feel that I may need to lay out some ground rules.

Things that are good to email me:

  1. Funny military stories
  2. Funny stories in general
  3. Links to amusing things
  4. Treasure maps. (Hey you never know)
  5. Additions for the “Friends of Skippy” list
  6. Suggestions for things you would like for me to write about
  7. A picture of you wearing a Squid Pie t-shirt
  8. Questions that you would like me to answer
  9. New Skippy’s List Variants you have found
  10. Suggestive pictures (if you are a woman)

Things that are bad to email to me:

  1. Fanfic
  2. Even if it’s Skippy’s List themed
  3. Even if “I swear you’ll like this one”
  4. Suggestive pictures (if you are not a woman)
  5. Anything that violates OPSEC.
  6. Please do not confess to any criminal acts. There is a difference between light-hearted mischief and felony assault
  7. Especially don’t do 5 or 6 from government email accounts
  8. Please do not make me an “accessory after the fact”
  9. Do not make a transcript of anything you and your friends did while drinking “epic quantities of peppermint schnapps”
  10. To the cosplay folks with the camcorder: Bonus points for creativity, now please never do that again

Not funny legal junk:

Material submitted to appear on Skippy’s List is still your property, thus you retain the copyright. Nobody reads the legal stuff, so I bet you’re not even reading this. I will only use your submitted material on this web site unless I receive written permission from you to use it elsewhere. I like turtles. I will not claim your material as my own. Please don’t send other people’s work. Seriously, no fanfic. If you wish, I will put yoursubmission on my site with your email and a link to your website. Unless I don’t feel like it for some reason. Your material may be edited for grammatical and spelling corrections. Void where prohibited by law. I’m not paying for submissions at this time, and am not likely to start in the future. This is just a way to share some funny stories with the world on the Intertubes. La zona blanca está para el cargamento y descargar solamente.

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14 Responses to “Important Guidelines”

  1. Jon Says:

    Heh…turtles

    Reply

  2. Charles E Fromage Says:

    Yay! Turtles!

    Reply

  3. Gebiv Says:

    As pets? …or as lunch?

    Reply

  4. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    How about stories about turtles? So long as they’re not famous turtles, that wouldn’t be fanfic, right? ;)

    Reply

  5. quincy Says:

    The specific mention of cosplay merits speculation. Not much mind you – the same way that the title “Agony in Pink” merited speculation, but not actual exploration.

    Some things, you’d just rather not know.

    Reply

  6. TheShadowCat Says:

    “Suggestive pictures (if you are a woman)”

    Have you cleared this with your wife? If my husband put out on the web he wanted suggestive pictures of other women, he would find himself beaten senseless with his own laptop.

    I don’t have any military stories, but I have cat stories if you want those. And for the record, I like turtles too.

    Reply

  7. ArchaicDome Says:

    There you go with your “zona roja/zona blanco” crap again.

    Reply

  8. Green Sarge Says:

    Do stories about the horrible mindless military bureaucracy that (sometimes) is the military way count as “funny military stories?”

    Reply

  9. Jason M. Says:

    “To the cosplay folks with the camcorder: Bonus points for creativity, now please never do that again”

    You had me at cosplay, please share…

    Reply

  10. Nikadi Says:

    I’m aso curious about the cosplaying?

    & I’m guessing you’ve seen the Harry Potter version of your list (which subsequently is the reason I am on here right now, I’m a Potter Geek yes).

    Reply

  11. Elizabeth M Says:

    hmm…
    Stepping on an IUD is not ok, even if it’s only filled with baby powder

    I am not a vampire, even if I do shoot better in the dark

    The correct answer is not, “I’m sorry, what?”

    The correct response is “Yes Drill Sergent” not, “Say that in English.”

    In an infantry unit, it is unwise to anger the medics

    Reply

  12. the JACK Says:

    What the hell does the last sentence say in english? If you won’t tell me, then “Du bist ein Berlinner”

    Reply

  13. T'chung MayMay Says:

    Ooo…what did the cosplay folks do?*grin*

    Reply

  14. Snyarhedir Says:

    I have a few ideas for list items (please forgive the blatant musical theme):

    I am not to hum/sing/a capella (spelling?) Ride Of The Valkyries while taking off in an aircraft. (I am also not to play the recording on the open channel for that matter.)
    alternate version:
    I will stop singing Aces High by Iron Maiden during dogfights. I will also not play it on a CD over the open channel during the same.

    Warrior and Indestructible by Disturbed are not rallying cries.

    Reply

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