The Department of Education is purchasing several tactical shotguns.
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You know, it’s not that my son pukes white foam up all over me several times a day that bugs me. It’s the fact that he looks so darned proud after he does it.

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Recently I took a typography course from the internet-based institution of higher learning that I attend. As with a previous class I became suspicious that the instructor was not paying attention.

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At the present I am taking advantage of the newer and more generous GI Bill to go to online school. This allows me to take care of children, and do some freelance work, while still working on getting a degree.

Since I used to be a graphic designer for the Army (DINFOS trained killer!) and since I seem to be pretty good at it, that’s what I have decided to study.

If you’re ever been to an art school, or been to college with art majors, you may remember that art students can, at times, be a tad flaky. Most people haven’t been to an online school, but those that have can attest, online students, and instructors can be very flaky as well. After a few semesters I have discovered that these are cumulative modifiers.

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Today some asked me a rather silly question.

“Given the choice, would you rather sleep in or eat a delicious breakfast? Is there any food you love so much that you’d wake up at dawn or travel a great distance just to eat it?”

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So last week I received an informative email**. The kind of informative email that has been forwarded somewhere around a billion times, contains really big font, and contains almost nothing but lies.

You all know it. Everybody has one or two relatives, or workmates who send you this sort of thing. Well thanks to my website, my address appears in a great many folk’s email applications. And so I get dump-loads of helpful emails on a simply staggering variety of subjects.

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Yesterday my parents watched the kids, and my wife and I were able to finally go out at see Avatar. And let me tell say that if you like naked blue people, between this flick and Watchmen, the past year has been good for you.

Afterwords we went to a nearby bookstore to just browse, seeing as how that’s exactly the sort of thing that we haven’t been able to do in a very long time.

While we were there, my wife discovered that they have an entire section dedicated to World of Warcraft fiction. She had somehow, despite being a huge WOW fangirl, missed this phenomenon.

We were discussing these books when I mentioned that there were even Warcraft SAT prep graphic novels.

Wife: Really? How the hell does that work.

Me: They correctly use words that students will need to know, to help them improve their….umm…crap…I can’t remember the word…

Wife: Verbal portion?

Me: No….dammit….that word that means the words that you already know…

Wife: You mean vocabulary?

Me: Yes! Vocabulary!

Wife: (Stifling laughter) You mean the word that you would have remembered if you had one?

Me: Yes. Dammit. Shut up.

Wife: (Now laughing quite loudly) I suppose that the irony here is not lost on you?

Me: *sigh*. No. No it isn’t.