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Archive for the ‘Just kind of babbling’ Category

Moving…Moving…Moved

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

So for the past few weeks I have been getting ready for a move, which we finally did this weekend. It wasn’t a “big deal” move, like the many cross-country moves I’ve managed to make over the years, TX-CA, CA-TX, TX-IL, IL-AZ, AZ-TX damn I move entirely too much. This time it was just from one part of the Dallas area to another part. I now live in a city that most people have heard of only because it was featured in a zombie movie, which I suppose is strangely appropriate.

Well it turns out that moving is a lot more complicated when you have small children. You see, my wife and I have worked out this system where at any given point in time one of us is watching the twins, and one of us is doing something to make money through our web design business.   Now we added a third job: packing.  Which would seem to require the services of another adult in our household to do this while keeping up with the first two jobs.  My suggestion that we simply add another wife to the household to increase our ability to deal with extra chores was met with a surprising amount of positive consideration, which probably says quite a bit more about the realities of juggling a home business with multiple children than my spouse’s views on polyamory.

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Stop Judging Me!

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

In the past, I have worked in crappy customer service jobs ringing up purchases. And like most people who get to spend all day ringing people up, I got very bored. I used to entertain myself by examining the items that folks would buy, and try to figure out what was going on in their lives.

For instance, if a customer was buying hot dogs, buns, condiments and charcoal, I would think to myself, “That lady is going to have a barbecue.” If they were buying ice cream, candy, and diet soda I might think, “Who the hell does that guy think he’s fooling?” And if they were purchasing duct tape, plastic sheeting, a hacksaw and lye, I would think, “I should assure this gentleman that my memory is terrible, and that I have already forgotten ever seeing him. And then run away.”

Because of this I always assume that the people that ring me up are doing the same thing. Which has, on occasion, made me feel bizarrely self-conscious about the things that I am buying.

Just the other day I found myself in need of a trip to the store. I only needed a few things, and here’s how it went for me.

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Models Ick

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

I have not ever worked as a model. I have never worked with a model other than in a life drawing class.

I have not in the past, nor am I currently, nor am I likely to ever be in any way affiliated with either the modeling industry nor any affiliated businesses such as fashion of glamor magazines.

The closest I have ever come to an interest in these subjects is enjoying a few reruns of Just Shoot Me, and once being forced to watch The Devil Wears Prada.

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The Sport Of Kings

Friday, June 11th, 2010

So I have just discovered that I have spent several years training to be an athlete, completely by accident. You see, I own several ferrets, and many pairs of pants. And while to you or I might believe that pants are a garment to be used by a single individual at a time, to a ferret, pants truly appear to be a sort of community event, designed to be enjoyed and shared by all.

Simply put, if you have pants and ferrets in the same house, sooner or later their paths are going to converge. Which will be either tragic or hilarious depending on whether or not you are the one wearing them at the time.

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Writer’s Block

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

A conversation from my home

Wife: Whatchya doing?

Me: Writing a post for the site…but I’m stuck.

Wife: What is it about?

Me: It’s a list of all of the phrases that every guy wants to be able to say for real..

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Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Inadvertantly Causing Natural Disasters

Sunday, April 25th, 2010

It turns out that there are clerics in Iran who feel that earthquakes are caused by women who dress immodestly.

I’m trying to come up with a punch line, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything as funny as that statement all by itself.

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Deceptive Movie Titles

Monday, April 19th, 2010

Evidently many people can be easily fooled by movies that have similar names. In fact there are studios whose entire business model is based on this fact. (The Asylum, I am looking in your direction for some reason.)
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