Payday loans
RedShirts 2 Ad Banner for Kickstarter

Once Upon A Time In Korea

August 24th, 2010 by Eric

So to begin with I’m not a member of any military organization, the closest I ever came was to be rejected from Annapolis because my vision was off in one eye.  The only ways in which I remotely military are the fact I’m in shape and have short cropped hair.

It is the middle of the afternoon I’m walking down in the street in Incheon,  with my girlfriend (a Korean-American) when out of nowhere comes this American military officer who is yelling something at someone about, “Why the hell are you off base?”. I start to look around for what poor guy is about to ripped a new one when I suddenly realize the 2LT is bearing down on me, convinced I’m in his unit and currently AWOL.

He pulls up in front of me and pokes me in the chest and proceeds to tell me I’m in big trouble and how I’m supposed to be on duty.  My smartass comment “Oh the draft is back? That sucks.” goes unappreciated.  The funny part is he doesn’t appear to know my name.  He keeps refering to me as “Mister”.   I’m staring at this guy and trying to figure out of he is drunk, but I can’t smell any alcohol on his breath and he seems sober, just stupid.

In the spirit of not being a dick I was trying to suggest he has the wrong guy and offering to pull my passport and University ID, but he isn’t having it.  He keeps poking me in the chest and blustering.  He finally pushes the right button when he says something about “sneaking off to fuck some Korean whore” in reference to my GF who is standing beside me.   I promptly take a swing at him and follow it up with a knee in the groin*.   I end up taking him down to the ground so I can punch him more effectively and my GF being the doll she is gets a few kicks into his ribcage.  She also got me with one of the kicks, but I try not to hold that against her.

The fun doesn’t last long; some Korean cops had been watching the confrontation and waded in to break it up.  Lucky for me, my girlfriend is there to present them with a one-sided account of the encounter in Korean.  So we end up in the police station having some tea, noodles, and kimchee while the 2LT is cuffed and tossed in a holding cell.  One of the Korean cops is nice enough to walk in and dump half a bottle of peroxide on the 2LT’s face, prompting a series of angry yells.   It all ends with a pair of very pissed off officers and some military police showing up to collect the 2LT.  As he’s being hauled one of the officers looks at the 2LTs face, then at me, then back at the 2LT and I hear him mutter “…by a fucking college kid.”  I’m assuming the part before that was: “Had his ass beaten…”.

Eventually some civilian relations type of person from the Army looked me up to make sure I wasn’t planning on pressing charges or anything, which I’m not (only took them 3 weeks to locate me).  The Army did refuse my request that as a good faith gesture they tattoo “Warning: Contents of Butterbar May Be Racist and/or Stupid” across the 2LT’s forehead.

*One thing I did learn in JROTC: If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.  Thanks Chief Stewart for those words of wisdom.

Subscribe to Comments for Skippy's List

Next Story: »

20 Responses to “Once Upon A Time In Korea”

  1. Billy Says:

    I have to say, that with him being a racist asshole, he deserved more.


  2. Ian M Says:

    STUPID racist asshole – though that is probably a triple tautology or something.

    He got off lightly.


  3. Jim A. Says:

    Picking a fight with a civilian gets him in trouble. Losing a fight with a civilian gets him laughed at.


  4. Andrew Says:

    First off, he shouldn’t have said that. That being said, most of you civilians wouldn’t understand the military culture, so you have no room to judge. I guess as far as Eric goes though, I apologize. This just goes to show that 1775’s officers and today’s officers still get their rank the same way; paid for with Daddy’s money.


    Ariy reply on August 25th, 2010 3:42 pm:

    Yeah I’m just not seeing it, I don’t care what culture you’re from, nothing entitles you to make derogitory and racist comments. I’m guessing you’ve never run up agianst a guy who feels it’s okay to call you a whore just because he doesn’t like something you did. Doesn’t matter where he’s from, it still sucks.


    Sam reply on August 31st, 2010 4:05 pm:


    Where he’s from does matter. Sure, Uncle Sam’s spoiled nephew got the better of you with a smartass comment and he was clearly in the wrong.

    But for Godsake dude, he’s Uncle Sam’s (retarded) nephew. If this happened in America, I’d have your back. No question. But it’s a military/occupied “territory.”

    To sum it up: You took a swing at an American GI. Did it ever occur that maybe he’s not a rich little brat – just got a bad case of PTSD or mental problems from tour in Afg. or Irq?

    So you threw the first punch and your Korean GF helped out. Yeah. That’s pretty heroic.

    As far as the eye thing, well I work in the business and can tell you, unless that eye problem happens to be that its made outta glass, you can still join the military, kiddo.


    Cornbread reply on October 14th, 2010 1:21 am:

    Having PTSD and other mental problems as a result of a tour of duty does not excuse him from acting the way he’s supposed to. Both parties were in the wrong, he’s the one who got what was coming to him.

    I’d bet that if the American GI was the one who took a swing at a non-American person who called the GI’s Signifigant Other a whore, you’d be on the GI’s side. Being a GI does not mean you (general) are entitled to behave like a racist, arrogant, entitled, insensitive, crude, uncouth bastard, nor does completing a tour overseas in the middle east, nor does even having PTSD, a TBI, etc.

    I’d bet that in the eyes of those Korean policemen and any other nationals watching, he was “One of those nasty American military members, you know how they are” and the person telling the story was the hero for defending the honor of the Korean girl who just got horribly insulted.

    Besides, if some guy called me a whore, I can’t guarantee that I would be mad if my husband, brother, dad, cousin, or really close guy friend punched them out. You just don’t pull crap like that.

    Eric reply on August 25th, 2010 9:24 pm:

    Andrew, no need to apologize. Every organization has its share of “problem children” to put it politely. My school and my job have some people I’d ashamed to have to say I work with. I figure by now word has gotten around this guys unit and that’s punishment enough.


  5. SKD Says:

    And this is why officers should be treated like children at least until they first get to put silver on their uniform.

    Personally, I think all officers should have to spend time as enlisted men before they receive their first commission. There are some few who manage to be decent officers from the start but the majority would benefit from a year or two as privates before they are put in charge of mens lives.


    kat reply on August 25th, 2010 10:37 am:

    I agree with that. My husband is looking at becoming an officer in about two years (RN, yay!) but he’s already been enlisted for over 10 years. If all officers had spent time as enlisted’s alot of crap could be avoided


    Beans reply on August 31st, 2010 11:42 pm:

    I agree in many cases, that Lt acted completely beyond the lines in the situation.

    I do want to say, though, that the non-prior commissioned force does, in most cases, bring a valuable and unique point of view to the services. In many cases I’ve noticed that a misbehavior enacted by fresh lieutenants comes in part due to disregard from the prior service individuals who are seeking commission with these individuals.

    I have great respect for your husband aspiring to advance his career and experience but would caution him to engage actively with non-priors on military service. I have seen several non-priors lose their enthusiasm and heart because the prior-Es talk about the black/white protocol of the military when everything is very grey.

    As a non-prior I was lucky enough to gain a lot of insight from my brother(E-6) who just deployed to Bagram on an indefinite tour; however, in OTS I saw several people lose their passion because of things priors said to them.

    If your husband is willing to listen and encourage growth during his commissioning time, I’m sure he will be of greater value than most to the health of the services.

    Captcha: hosefin comedies, odd, I’m sure it would be relevant if I knew what a hosefin was.


    Marshall reply on August 25th, 2010 8:17 pm:

    Funny, Starship Troopers (the book) offered the same opinion and justification.


  6. Tim Covington Says:

    Once again, proof that 2LTs should not be let out without supervision by a sergeant.


  7. M578Jockey Says:

    On the bright side, being arrested for assaulting a civilian while spouting rascist crap probably means this guy will never make it past 1LT.


  8. Susan Says:

    Sounds like he wasn’t drunk, but maybe high on something. I hope. Otherwise, a bad case of stupidity and/or mental illness.


  9. skippy Says:

    Dude, as a veteran myself I fail to see how the lack of military service would render them unable to make a judgment in this case. The officer was out of line, and deserved to be punished for it.


  10. StoneWolf Says:

    In addition to the rest, I’m kinda worried that he mistook fit short-haired male for a soldier. LT’s lead, what about thirty to fifty soldiers? You can’t memorize at least their faces?


  11. Tyler Says:

    I’m sure that bastard made the linguist work long and hard to figure out just what had gone on, only to find out that it was a case of stupidity.

    Poor linguist.


  12. Ian M Says:

    Anyhow, it is delightful to imagine the reception (and subsequent “counselling”) this moron would certainly have received from his superiors.


  13. Andy Says:

    Dude, some boot Lt in Korea with PTSD from OIF and OEF? Seriously? I mean it could happen but not likely. After being in ROK you get your pick of duty stations. But What i was getting at when I said that your wouldn’t understand because you’re not military, was not the name calling. It just so happens that every year, during the week that this was posted, a semi annual country wide exercise takes place. 90% of white, english speaking people there are military. So i say again, he was wrong, you wouldn’t understand why he was really acting that way.

    CAPTCHA: schons Operations haha i think i just broke Opsec and it’s trying to warn me…


Leave a Reply