Bonus list. Because I spent all day doing math homework instead of writing.
Rules of the road now that you’re wife/girlfriend is pregnant:
(Submitted by TheShadowCat)
- Never argue with a pregnant woman. This will lead to a lot of pain. Emotional for her and possibly physical for you.
- Never point out bloated body parts or stretch marks on her unless you know how to duck and cover very well.
- Don’t make comments about weight gain unless you want to have a vasectomy done with a carving knife.
- If she makes a comment about any of these issues, tell her she’s beautiful. You might want to practice this a few times out loud and in front of a mirror so you can say it with a straight face and with some form of sincerity in your voice.
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