Sleeping On The Couch
It’s important to note, that lack of sleep can sometimes impair your judgment.
Take for instances this except from when my Father called me up the other day.
Dad: And so how is your lovely wife doing?
Me: I have no idea. I haven’t seen my lovely wife in months. My pregnant, crazy wife, on the other hand, is doing just fine.
Crazy Pregnant Wife: Hey!
Dad: You said that where she could hear you? You are a dead man.
In my defense, I was really tired. And it was funny. And I thought I could run faster* than my wife could, given her condition.
* I was wrong.**
** Ow.
Follow
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
When’s she due, anyways?
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Good news, crazy pregnant wife is a fairly short phase.
Bad news, crazy new mom phase starts immediately after crazy pregnant wife.
It goes away when the kids grow up (varies from kid to kid, has been know to take 30 years).
It is much easier being a guy, we can just act crazy all the time and everyone thinks it is normal.
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 5:27 am
That’s OK, I can always teach your crazy pregnant wife long range shooting. There’s no reason for her to get tired. ;>
Captcha: Granada shredder – Now that’s a name for a hurricane.
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 7:13 am
As a father of three, I’ve done this plenty of times, and I might just be able to help. Skippy, repeat after me: “I only tease the people I know when I like them. I’m sorry. I’ll try to control it. I love you. More than words can tell.” And then you kiss her. Lovingly. And you have to be willing to talk with her about things that seem important to her, even if logic proves them otherwise. Or, at least listen and comment appropriately. It might just work and get you back in a bed.
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Skippy,
The only thing I can say is “DUMBASS!”
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 8:36 am
0.0 What the heck am I getting myself into?
………and why does the quote, “What ever you do, don’t call him a monkeyohshit!”, come to mind?
Captcha: Times annoyed – my wife? Three today…ouch
Note To Self: There is never, NEVER a right time to ask, “why are you acting so sensitive?” After 13 years, you’d think I know better. >.<
(These captchas are beginning to scare me with their accuracy.)
Reply
Shuttlez reply on September 4th, 2009 8:39 am:
*after 8 years married.
*sigh* it’s late and I’ve been up for 24 hours so far. leave me alone. :-/
Captcha: snappy that – talking about my correction?
0.0 SEE WHAT I MEAN!?!
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 9:13 am
When it comes to women, pregancy, children or “lady parts problems”, you have a dick, so you lose and its your fault. There is no win, there is only survival.
Reply
September 4th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Tell Crazy Pregnant Wife that running is bad for the baby and she shouldn’t do it unless her life depends on it.
It at least sounds true…..
Reply
sandy reply on September 4th, 2009 9:48 am:
unfortunately for you… doctors tell pregnant women that exercise is good for them. If they did it before their pregnancy they can continue during pregnancy barring any complications. However; sprinting and hurdles are two things that the doctor will tell her no on. :>
Reply
GBlair reply on September 4th, 2009 12:27 pm:
Bugger. My cunning plan thwarted by doctors.
Reply
September 5th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
OMGUFrknDIDN’T!?
Ditto StoneWolf’s post/Post #7.
Kinda like vague hand grenade instructions:
Pull pin, throw.
Reply
September 7th, 2009 at 4:38 am
One night mate got up to leave the pub saying that if he didn’t get home soon his partner would make him sleep in the garden.
“But mate,” I said, “It’s an awesome garden, you should be proud to sleep in it.”
“I agree,” He replied, “As a garden, it’s fantastic. But as a bedroom, it sucks!”
captcha: forwent Oco – Advice for a Maelstrom character?
Reply
September 7th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Skippy you is a pillock mate. Your wife is already being driven nuts by hormones and then you said that in hearing? Prat.
As a woman i can sympathise with both sides, as the partner of an Ex para all i can say is: Squaddie.
Reply
September 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I know how it feels… thank God if your wife is not an Automotive Ing and knows robotics… yeah I will weap for my couch… now its sentient and I can sleep on it… seeing how both my wife and 2 batyfull girls are the only ones allow to ise it :(
Reply
September 8th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Ok, I guess I better finish my rules for living with a pregnant woman for you before you get yourself killed.
Reply
September 8th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
skippy your hilarious, i think i would have laughed if my husband ever said that about me….
Reply
November 4th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Hmmm My husband must have been channeling Skippy the other day when he peeked around the shower curtain, grinned, and said “You look like a snow man, honey!” He caught the shampoo bottle with his head…
Reply
July 31st, 2012 at 12:20 am
If you get the urge to say something stupid about your crazy pregnant wife, and all pregnant womwn are crazy, remermber even if you can outrun them, they know where you live!!
Reply