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Archive for July 16th, 2009

What A-hole Would Do This?

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

In our team meeting today I learned about a mad man in our company. His reign of terror lasted for several months, then mysteriously he stopped his crime spree for a couple months and now he is back with a vengeance.

Who is this criminal mastermind, of which I speak, and what has he done to strike fear in the hearts of his co-workers?

He is the Mad Crapper of Building 4.

That’s right, someone in building 4 has been going into the mens room and dropping a deuce in the middle of the floor. Not on the floor in a stall, but in the middle of the floor in front of the sinks.

There is a serial shitter amongst us, and management is hot (and steamy) on his trail trying to find this maniac.

I don’t know if it is the call center managers or corporate security that is investigating this heinous crime. Perhaps it is a special anti-poop task force, but they were close to finding him. They had narrowed down the list of suspects by comparing the days and times with the work schedules of all employees. They were closing in, when suddenly he cut the shit.

He laid low for two months, (two… I think it is symbolic), and now he is letting loose again.

One manager was overheard to say that, “when you have 4000 employees, you have to expect that one of them will shit on the floor.”

No, I am not making this up. Yes, I will update when there are more details.

Random Zombie Related Crap

Thursday, July 16th, 2009


I was out of town last week for my grandmothers funeral. When I came back and checked my mail at work, I saw that I missed one of the best employee morale booster events at work ever. I missed Zombie Day at the call center.

It’s July. And they had Zombie Day. I am blessed to work for such an awesome company. May all companies one day embrace Zombie day.

Yes this is true. No there is no punchline. I just wanted to rub in how much more awesome my employer is than yours.


If Battlestar Galactica had zombies in it, at one point I am sure we would have heard Commander Adama say, “The Cylons taste like us, now.”

This is the new wall paper on my computer.


A Message for the zombies…