Archive for February, 2009

Since energy independence is a current in topic, and since I am all about leaping onto the bandwagon, I decided to do some poking around into biofuels. I wanted to see if I could run my car on them, if they were really as environmentally friendly as suggested, and even if they would be available in my area.

So while I was poking around I discovered that biofuels had actually been around a lot longer than I suspected. It turns out that like many innovations, several of which we take for granted nowadays, the modern concept of biofuels originated with the axis powers just before WWII. Which makes sense, I guess, because in America the first time somebody said “I want you to grow gasoline!” he got laughed at. But when a murderous dictator tells you the same thing, you’re probably going to give it the old college try.

Since Italy contained very few strategic resources during the lead-up to the War, Mussolini was worried about being able to maintain sufficient fuel supplies to keep the infrastructure functioning. Especially since his larger and more aggressive allies might not be willing to share their stockpiles if they became scarce.

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That must be a wind sock. (Thank you Heather)

What’s your sign? (Thank you Dave)

(Thank you Johnathon Maxwell)

via videosift.com

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Today’s post is due to a convergence of two facts.

1) I haven’t felt particularly inspired to write for a while. Normally when that happens I pick a list item, and write the story about how it came about.

2) I still have a bunch of the Squid Pie stuff sitting around.

And so I had a contest idea.

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When I was still active duty military, I had a weekly radio show at FT Irwin as “The Voice of the Blackhorse”; it was a classic rock show. I was assigned to the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment (OPFOR) and I worked with the 13th Public Affairs guys as a volunteer.

I didn’t realize how appreciated my show was, until one day I was at the FT Irwin commissary, and I was chatting with a lady who suddenly recognized my voice and exclaimed “Oh my God, thank you SO much for what you do!” I blushed and said “Anytime”. She introduced herself as the Garrison Commander’s wife, and she had a favor to ask of me.

I raised an eyebrow, “Sure, what did you have in mind?”

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Back when I was in the North Carolina National Guard, and six weeks after 9/11, we were mobilized.  We all had hopes, visions, and wet dreams about going to Afghanistan.  We went to Ft. Bragg.

Our unit was the rear command post for the XVIII Airborne Corps, so it was thought that we could augment the actual HQ while they planned on going to Afghanistan.  Of course, we were supposed to go with them.

When the time game to go, half of us were left behind as the rear detachment.  That sucked in just about every way.  They went on Operation Enduring Freedom, and I stayed back on Operation Enduring Boredom.

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Skippy (or enslaved staffer), (Note from skippy: Enslaved staffer! I want one of those!)

What follows is my meager attempt at adding a few items to your list.  As in the original, everything on this list either happened to myself, or to a close friend (the two of us have a bit of a rep).  Spreading a little bit of insanity every day while deployed to Afghanistan actually kept us sane.  Most of these list items have stories that go with them, and I will gladly share them with your readers if you and they ask for it.

So anyways, here goes.  A list of things I’m no longer allowed to do in a Canadian Army Weapons Maintenance Shop:

(Submited by Tekno)

1.) “It’s a device to make you ask stupid questions.  I see it works well.”  Is never an appropriate answer when someone asks me what I’m doing.

2.) A hammer is very rarely the appropriate tool to use when fixing small arms.

3.) A sledge hammer is never the appropriate tool to use when fixing small arms.

a.) Especially if the operator is watching.

4.) The “Weapon Gods” to not exist, and we do not need to sacrifice a pistol before range practice.

5.) Pants must be worn in the vehicles at all times.

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Okay, Skippy, just because you asked.

This short list is what you might call “post-military”.

A while ago you abandoned a promising new list in consideration of you own health, well being, and longevity.  That list was entitled “Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do Now That I Am Married”.

Well, while I was in a Special Ops unit, I had the precarious pleasure of serving with an individual who was your absolute doppelganger.  For quite some time I was convinced that you were him, and he just wouldn’t cop to it.  I still think that’s a possibility, you conniving bastard.

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Vampires!

To sum up for those too apathetic to click the link:

There are people who say they are vampires.  And they are upset at other people who say they are vampires.  Because the other people are faking it.

So basically a bunch of dorks who are playing an elaborate game of “let’s pretend” are mad that another group of dorks are also playing “let’s pretend”, and they are doing it wrong.

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Just for the record, I have pretty much run through all of the guest stories that I had piled up.  Which means that if you have a funny story, now would be a good time to send it in.  I still give preference for military stories, but I’ll take anything as long as it’s funny.  This could also be used to plug your own site, if you so desire.

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