A New WoW List
With apologies to the non-gamers, who will probably not understand what most of this means.
(Submitted by Soulex)
1. Hunters are not supposed to melee, do not claim to be a melee hunter and get in the thick of battle.
2. Warriors are for tanking first; if you do not have a shield you are a dumbass and will not get groups.
3. Do not report the warlock for “ninjaing” soul shards.
4. Becoming hated with goblins for the Bloodsail Buccaneers outfit is worth it.
5. Using those furry bear fist weapons, and having a bear mask makes you a badass, and you should go gank noobs.
6. So does a wedding dress and a broom with fiery enchant.
7. Completing a raid using a Mining Pick and a BlackSmith hammer is not acceptable, even if your GM didn’t notice until the last fight.
8. Even if you did it because they gave a good 1h to a hunter who wont ever use it.
9. Do not play the game belligerently drunk and pass out at the keyboard in a raid.
10. Do not use psychotropic drugs such as salvia or acid while playing WoW.
11. If you are a paladin and decide to not get the “rez quest” you should probably kill yourself.
12. Judeophobia is an offensive name, so is any other name with a reference towards a fear of religion.
13. Singing “Barbie Girl” , “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”, and “It’s Raining Men” is not acceptable on Vent.
14. Even if you are drunk and everyone is laughing.
15. If, by some glitch, you get promoted to GM and the officers and GM’s are talking about you in Ochat, do NOT butt in.
16. Flying to the top of the map only to fall down and charge a mob below you is awesome.
17. Naked Gnome races should be done for money, or to settle arguments.
18. If a mage says “Click portal to summon” and you click it, you are a dumbass.
19. Rogues do not tank, nor do hunter’s or warlock’s pets.
20. If you are a caster, do not ninja DPS plate.
21. Learning how to say “We am dum ok” in Dwarvish to Horde will net you brownie points with the faction.
22. As will drunken midget boxing (Note from Skippy – “Wait, what?!”)
23. Mind Controlling players off of high ledges is great.
24.Ganking noobs in STV is a must.
25.When ganking said noobs, it is also a must to make a campfire, and spam /hungry at their corpse.
26. Rogues vs warriors = epic battle. Warriors vs. paladins = cry.
27. As a hunter, do not get into an argument with an enhance shammie about dps mail. They are stupid and think everything belongs to them.
28. In reference to 27, if you need it, need it, fuck shamies.
29. Do not cancel dates to play WoW.
30. Do not steal food from work so you don’t have to buy any to play WoW.
31. Vent is not for venting. No one wants to hear your problems.
32. Making
33. Stating on Vent “I’m going to go make a sandwich and think about my life” only to show back up in game 6 months later is strange, and should probably not be attempted.
34. World PvP is the best damn thing in that game.
35. Do not go to an RP realm pretending that you are a girl about to commit suicide only to jump off world tree and die in game.
36. Do not “seduce” a “chick” on an RP server, ask her to meet you in the bedroom, only to have your entire guild make naked gnomes and walk in on you.
37. Do 35 and 36 only if you have FRAPS and it can be logged.
38. Do not rickroll a GM.
39. Do not argue with a GM about the meaning of the word “faggot” they don’t care about units of measure.
40. Nor do they accept the term “heterosexually challenged” when referring to gays.
41. Especially when you are talking about them.
42. The flute that makes everyone dance is awesome in raids.
43. GM’s do not accept bribes to “pimp my ride”
44. GM’s are there to fix problems, not to have a chat because you are bored.
45. Warriors do NOT need Blessing of Wisdom, unless they are leveling a weapon class.
46. By all means, when playing a hunter misdirect everything onto the squishiest of classes.
47. Excessive profanity will get you reported and banned for a few days.
48. Do convince a bunch of lowbies to follow you to to a random place where your Horde friend is lying in wait.
49. Pulling world dragons (back when you could) to noob towns is the best thing you will witness.
50. Do not lend an account to a friend and wonder why all your stuff is missing, he’s lying naked in an alleyway, with a bouquet of roses in his hands.
51. Do not bubble the tank.
52. Do NOT bubble the tank!
53. If the tank dies, DPS like mad, do not run away.
54. If the tank dies, it’s more than likely the healers fault, blame him.
55. Twinks is where it’s at. Don’t complain if you don’t have one.
Follow
February 15th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Question about Number Two…what about Titan’s Grip??
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SGT Travis reply on February 15th, 2009 11:28 pm:
For Dual-wielding Two-Handed weapons I mean.
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Caine reply on February 16th, 2009 8:13 am:
A warrior isn’t a death knight, s/he’s a warrior. A warrior tanking with Titan’s Grip can tank an instance 20 levels lower, but that’s where it ends.
Most of a warrior’s armor is from the shield, plus mitigating damage from blocking.
Titan’s Grip though is awesome for dps purposes, and I do disagree with the OP that warriors don’t get into raids if they are dps. Some of the best dps in the game comes from warriors.
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Fenrir reply on February 16th, 2009 10:48 am:
A warrior with Titan’s Grip can still throw a shield on in their offhand while still using a 2hander in main. More of a pita to switch back, but sometimes the fury will have to OT in a pinch. Or when I pull aggro and need to make the owwies hurt less before the tanks can take them back… >.>
Thomas "Soulex" reply on February 16th, 2009 10:00 pm:
I never said that Warriors dont get into raids as a DPS, I was a DPS warrior PreTBC (back when it was hard). i just said all warriors need a sword and board and a set of tanking gear. you never know when you will need it.
February 15th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
By the way, in reference to a few of those, what about being a lock and getting lowbies to help summon a doomguard saying your making food for them? Or the old “summon infernal and let him loose in goldshire” bit? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyVUXKublnk
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February 16th, 2009 at 12:58 am
The warlock trick is a fun one. unfortunatly a lot of noobs are wary to that one now. the mage/portal thing works brilliantly though lol.
and as a warrior, you should always have a board and sword for bad encounters :/ i played a few warriors that claimed they were DPS (as was i) and didnt have any shields or tank gear.
and i’ve done every single one of those. even turned down the date to play wow…
i can honestly say i’ve played with every breed of stupid when it comes to WoW. i think the 2 “melee” hunters took the cake though.
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Andrew reply on February 16th, 2009 4:47 am:
hunters in melee might be rubbish but at least it looks awesome if u have duel wield
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Billy reply on February 16th, 2009 8:07 am:
You know, someday, I should try to find a way to get a bunch of ppl to help me destroy stormwind by using the infernal trick, the mass destruction would be awsome lol.
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February 16th, 2009 at 5:31 am
47. as will circumventing the ignore system by switching characters to keep /w the same person
:(
so annoying when people think their english is better than mine….
a typeo or spelling mistake does now mean my sentence doesnt make sense >:(
also going to a crowded area and telling everyone the /camp emote is hilarious is great fun
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Andrew reply on February 16th, 2009 5:33 am:
not*
damn it lol
im just gunna shut up
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Stickfodder reply on February 16th, 2009 6:23 am:
When I firs read that I thought you did it intentionally.
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Sequoia reply on February 16th, 2009 5:09 pm:
Same here.
Stickfodder reply on February 16th, 2009 8:01 pm:
For the record I wasn’t trying to be funny I honestly forgot the “t” in “first”.
Sequoia reply on February 17th, 2009 3:10 pm:
I was speaking of Andrew’s mispelling of ‘not’ but the yours of ‘first’ was just perfect for the subject of your discourse.
February 16th, 2009 at 8:31 am
A variation on #18 that I’ve done several times in raids:
Summon a portal to somewhere far away, like Theramore. Then say, “Click for food.” Funny how many people do it. Usually we get a good laugh and then summon them back.
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February 16th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Don’t misdirect onto a mage. Ice block. Then the boss targets YOU. Invisibility, then the boss targets YOU
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February 16th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I love the thing where they try getting you to go pvp with a lvl 70 rogue in front of them. its even funnier when it backfires on them. lvl 53 undead rogue ftw
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February 16th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
As an Arms-spec DPS Warrior, I have to say: There is only one tank-specific spec to the class. Yes, it is possible, but I’m not specced for it, I don’t enjoy it, and I don’t do it well, so I don’t carry equipment I’m not up to level on.
Anyone who insists I have to tank is an idiot. Hell, pallys tank better than warriors because they’re built with more defense than offense.
I’m a badass, damage laying, debuff blasting DPS Warrior yo!
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February 16th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
please tell me you have video of 35 and 36. those made me laugh so hard i nearly peed.
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February 17th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Man, now I’ve got to figure out what server you’re on. Hunter on Staghelm btw.
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February 17th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
As healer priest, I must protest to to 54. If the Tank says that he’s not going to help when I accidently pull agro from healing him the last time, I believe I’m completely in my rights to not heal him again.
The jerk kept rolling ‘need’ for the staves and wands, anyway…
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Stickfodder reply on February 17th, 2009 4:33 pm:
Agreed. That’s why I chose to respec my Shaman as Elemental.
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February 17th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Regarding #7, I’m going to do some lowbie instances solo armed that way. Just ran some that I had never tried (or finished). It’s way too much fun punching the instance both to death.
That leads me to #56. If I am a mage I will NOT start fisticuffs with mobs no matter how much DPS we have.
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February 18th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
oh GAWDS lol
that…was really really funny :DDD
and i agree with LinLin: i play an 80 healadin on cenarius and i refuse to heal a tank if s/he refuses to help on an accidental pull. luckily, none in my guild are like this, so we get along :DD XD
BUT…i WILL say that accidents for healers DO in fact happen. you never expect lag, or a “hole” in the ground, or a sudden dc. so its not ALWAYS the healers fault…>.> >.< <.<
Captcha: Wagstaff Care: …w…t….f….h…
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February 24th, 2009 at 5:26 am
pally tank + pally healer = good lesson to poor dps. hell, with some PUGs you might as well just have a tank and healer >.>
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February 24th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
*Becoming hated with goblins for the Bloodsail Buccaneers outfit is worth it.
[b]DEFO
and add.. then grind back up to exalted status, cause u just like to have those faction linies green[/b]
My charecter are on revered with bootey bay now… after gettign the outfit… 2.5 rep pr. kil.. u gotta love it
*Singing “Barbie Girl” , “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”, and “It’s Raining Men” is not acceptable on Vent…..[b]awww WHY??[/b]
*If a mage says “Click portal to summon” and you click it, you are a dumbass. .. [b]im a dumbass… more then once even..[/b]
*Warriors do NOT need Blessing of Wisdom, unless they are leveling a weapon class… [b]yes they do.. cause warriors are DUMB :P[/b]
*Do not bubble the tank…[b]unless the tank is a tankadin.. then u can blow his bubble as much as u want… wait was that dirty?[/b]
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July 31st, 2010 at 4:09 am
OMG…i play a huntard, a lock, and a resto shammy. Too many times i’ve been in instances healing on the shammy going “WTF is that guy doing????” because i’m having to heal some other huntard more than i’m healing the tank because he’s….a melee hunter. When asked why they’re meleeing? It looks cool. That’s when i let their dumbasses die.
I’ve hit 40ish on the shammy, so i keep getting SM Cathedral. I always get the tank (or in some cases, the rogue) who likes to charge into the last part and pull EVERYTHING, including the boss. Needless to say, we die. Then they blame me.
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July 26th, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Your SNR is nearly zero.
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