Labor Music
So the other night while my wife was just beginning the birthing process, I made a post about inappropriate music to play during labor.
I was too busy to write much of anything, but here is a list of music that I discussed with my wife, which she also vetoed.
1. Push It – Salt-n-Pepa
2. The Thong Song – Sisqó
3. Who’s your daddy?- Lordi
4. It Rubs the Lotion on it’s Skin – The Greenskeepers
5. Mother – Pink Floyd
6. Mother – Danzig
7. Mother Mother – Tracy Bonham
8. The Cat’s in the Cradle – Harry Chapin
9. Any portion of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
10. The Gremlins Theme
11. O Fortuna
12. Tubular Bells – Mike Oldfield
13. Play With Me – ICP
14. Shake It Up Baby – The Beatles
15. Baby One More Time – Brittany Spears
16. Baby Got Back – Sir Mix-a-lot
17. The Wheels on the Bus
Seriously she hates that last one. My wife has actually promised to murder the person who teaches that song to our kids. It’s like she has some sort of “Manchurian Candidate” berserker assassin personality, and that song is the trigger.
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October 26th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Just wait until Barney shiws up. I’ll kill him. Well, maybe I’d get Dora first…
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StoneWolf reply on October 27th, 2009 4:24 am:
Barney, Dora, Teletubbies, Veggie Tales, etc. They’re all on the target of opprotunity list. When I was still a kid my parents got me a stuffed Barney which I promtly dismembered and disembowled. The part that creeped them out most was when I ran around using Barney’s head as a hat.
Seriously, raise those kids on Star Trek, Mystery Science Theater, and pretty much anything on History or Discovery channel.
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Tink_OC reply on October 27th, 2009 3:32 pm:
I loved veggie tales! But don’t get my friend started. I now know exactly what happened to the cucumber’s hairbrush.
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Jen reply on October 27th, 2009 7:05 pm:
HA you want pure evil. A set of shows that make every parent I know cring 1 Oobie. Its a show with hands.. the grandfather looks like cthulu. and they talk like this. Obbie like games, you like games.. its like yoda but evil.. 2 is the wonder pets. If you have never seen them go online and see the horror.
Though Dora, diego and Ni ho Kai Lan are on my list as well..
October 26th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I was about to ask what was wrong with tubular bells. then I listened to it for 5 minutes. NOT birthing music.
captcha Trenton muskier. than almost everything.
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Cantih reply on October 26th, 2009 11:41 pm:
There’s also the fact that it’s iconic to the film “The Exorcist”.
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Schwal reply on October 27th, 2009 2:43 pm:
I was not aware of that. In that case ABSOLUTELY not birthing music.
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October 27th, 2009 at 4:31 am
How about these songs? “Found a peanut,” “Are we there yet” [sung to the tune of Frere Jacques]? My wife about killed me for teaching them to my son when he was 4.
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October 27th, 2009 at 6:08 am
I taught my friend’s kids “The Song that Never Ends” .. She says I’m going to die in a hideous “accident” within the next year and on my tombstone she will write.. “IT ENDED.”
I’m rather surprised you didn’t also try to sneak in some Metallica, Skippy. “Whiplash” would be a GREAT labour no-no! :)
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October 27th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Congratulations to both you and your wife! So, do we at least get to know the gender and sizes of the kids? You can call them Thing 1 and Thing 2 if you like, but still, what are they? Fraternal or identical? The suspense is killing me! Ok, maybe not killing…but it’s really annoying me.
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October 27th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Skippy think she could stop by my house and kill the person how “accidenlty” played it for my 14 month old who won’t sleep wth out hearing it for a cople of times….
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October 27th, 2009 at 11:05 am
With the headling, I was expecting Le Internationale or some such..
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October 27th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Why would she object to Pink Floyd? When we have kids, I’ve ordered my fiance’ to play rock and thrash metal on a constant loop during my labor. It is my goal to have the kids come out already headbanging.
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skippy reply on October 27th, 2009 8:50 pm:
Examine the lyrics of that particular song.
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David B reply on March 30th, 2014 10:55 pm:
I swear I probably did. My father played Black Sabbath and The Wall on the way home. (We lived about an hour away from a hospital, so mom got a ride in a helicopter!
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October 27th, 2009 at 11:08 am
The ICP song would be just creepy, though. Actually, any ICP song during labor would earn a nut-crushing.
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October 27th, 2009 at 11:46 am
The only music i want to hear is the sound of the father’s screams as I crush every bone in his body for causing me this much suffering. :D
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October 27th, 2009 at 11:49 am
I raised my kid brother,,, and he would NOT go to bed with ought me singing Whiney the Poo’s “Little black rain cloud” I mean i had to make the bee noise and ALL! or he would refuse to go to bed till I sang it just right
To this day cant see a dark cloud and NOT think of that horrid song! Thank god i live in San Diego… but still…
Congrats on the birth of your children man..
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October 28th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Now that they’ve been born, the Metallica song du jour is “Until it Sleeps”
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elvesrus reply on October 29th, 2009 1:13 am:
or “All Nightmare Long”…
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October 29th, 2009 at 1:12 am
on my personal kill list – Barney and then dora, teletubbies, those little alien dudes that look like we won’t go there popping in and out of their little bodies, diego and finally Elmo…
My children are going to be so jaded.
Grats btw Skippy on the chitlins!
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October 29th, 2009 at 8:27 am
I know how your wife feels re: wheels on the bus. I’m that way with The Hokey Pokey. *shudders*
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October 29th, 2009 at 8:44 am
My in-laws gave both of our children stuffed chickens that play “The Chicken Dance” LOUDLY!!
I HATE the F$@%$%^& Chicken Dance!!!
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October 30th, 2009 at 2:57 am
My all-time worst choice would probably be The Hamsterdance song. Once it’s in your head you can never get rid of it.
Capcha: Chemical stashes – if your wife hears about them AFTER she gives birth, chances are you’re going to taste some serious pain…..
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May 19th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I would SOOOO totally give birth to Push It by Salt-n-Pepa!!! It’s peppy, upbeat, AWESOME, and encouraging!
BTW, keep your kids out of pre-school, because that is a go-to song at ALL schools!
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February 25th, 2014 at 3:26 pm
Dad started quoting M*A*S*H* when Mom was in labor with my sister, I’ve been told.
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