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Archive for May, 2014

Apollo Con

Friday, May 30th, 2014

So I am going to ApolloCon 2014 in Houston next month.  I’ll be demoing and selling my game (Redshirts, for those who missed out on that.)

But the best part is that I get to go for free.  Because I am Skippy.  I don’t get it either, but if I can turn my name into free stuff, as well as a free chance to earn money I sure as heck ain’t gonna turn it down.

So some days it isn’t good to be me, but this isn’t one of them.

If You Don’t Discriminate Against the Same People I Discriminate Against Then You Are Discriminating Against Me

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

The title is pretty much literally what the American Family Association is claiming right now.

I wish I was making this up.

So its not enough to have a state allow discrimination under the guise of religious freedom.  You have to actively support it or you are trying to limit somebody’s religious freedom.

If we were talking about fruit instead of, y’know fruits, the entire dialogue would go something like this:

AFA:”I like apples.”
Gay People:”Well I like oranges.”
AFA: “Oranges are not as good as apples.  They’re disgusting and you shouldn’t eat them.”
Gay People “I don’t see how its any of your business what I eat.”
AFA: “NO! Oranges are WRONG, and you shouldn’t be allowed to eat them!  We’ll make laws against it!”
Federal Courts: “Oh FFS guys, it’s really none of your business what anybody puts in their mouth or any other part of their body for that matter.”
AFA: “But if they can eat oranges, it makes apples less delicious!”
Federal Courts: “Sounds like a whole bunch of your problem.”
Gay People: “You seems suspiciously obsessed with oranges for people that hate them so much.  Are you sure you’re not just mad because you would really like to try an orange?”
AFA: “Noooooooo.  And the fact that anti-orange…I mean PRO-APPLE people keep getting caught with oranges, and occasionally tangerines, by no means suggests that we are curious about your juicy and tangy citrus fruit.  For reals.”
Gay People: “If you say so.”
AFA: “Shut up!  We’re just going to make it okay to deny basic services to people who like oranges.”
Gay People: “That’s not very nice.”
If You’re Buying: “We’ll sell any kind of fruit you want.  Apples, oranges, pears, even tomatoes.  We’re fucking crazy!”
AFA: “Tomatoes aren’t a fruit, they’re a vegetable!”
If You’re Buying: “Will you please shut up and read a goddamn book for once?”
AFA: ” Why do you hate apples? STOP OPPRESSING ME!”


Watch This Right Before Bed

Thursday, May 8th, 2014

Adventures in Daddyhood

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Evidently some doctor I have never met has told my children that they are allergic to lima beans.

The same doctor also told them they needed to eat lots and lots of candy.  Sounds legit.

My daughter got a couple of shots, which she loudly did not approve of. When her brother was being prepped for his,  she marched up to the doctor, leaned into his face and said “Don’t. You. Hurt. My. Brother.”

Me to child: Hold your horses.

Child: I’m not holding horses daddy. I’m holding Chewbacca!

One day I was prepping to take my kids to the grocery store. I was informed with no small amount of gusto that everybody needed to wear superhero capes. So the three of us all put on capes, and headed out to do some shopping. I got a weird mixture of encouragement and evil looks. Strangely all of the evil looks came from mothers who were there with their own children. As I was wondering why, I heard a little girl say “Mommy, why can’t we do that.”

According to my daughter there are little people who live in my attic. They have told her that there is a birthday party with cake. And we should open up the attic and climb inside now. To ratchet up the creepy, she told me this in a whisper the day after I watched Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.

Speaking of creepy, do you know how disturbing it looks when a toddler eats holes in a tortilla and wears it like a mask? Well I do.


I Have an Idea for a Movie

Monday, May 5th, 2014

It starts with two women who are discussing the Bechdel test.

Next they have forty-five minutes of obscenely graphic lesbian sex.

Technically, order it passes the test for gender equality.

I Found My Password

Monday, May 5th, 2014

This post will probably shock the heck out of those folks who are subscribed, but totally forgot I existed since I haven’t actually posted in a reeeeeaaally long time.

For the foreseeable future, I’m just going to post the random stuff that pops into my head here, instead of on Facebook.

Maybe someday, if I feel up to it, I will discus why I have been gone for so long.