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Archive for May 7th, 2014

Adventures in Daddyhood

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Evidently some doctor I have never met has told my children that they are allergic to lima beans.

The same doctor also told them they needed to eat lots and lots of candy.  Sounds legit.

My daughter got a couple of shots, which she loudly did not approve of. When her brother was being prepped for his,  she marched up to the doctor, leaned into his face and said “Don’t. You. Hurt. My. Brother.”

Me to child: Hold your horses.

Child: I’m not holding horses daddy. I’m holding Chewbacca!

One day I was prepping to take my kids to the grocery store. I was informed with no small amount of gusto that everybody needed to wear superhero capes. So the three of us all put on capes, and headed out to do some shopping. I got a weird mixture of encouragement and evil looks. Strangely all of the evil looks came from mothers who were there with their own children. As I was wondering why, I heard a little girl say “Mommy, why can’t we do that.”

According to my daughter there are little people who live in my attic. They have told her that there is a birthday party with cake. And we should open up the attic and climb inside now. To ratchet up the creepy, she told me this in a whisper the day after I watched Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.

Speaking of creepy, do you know how disturbing it looks when a toddler eats holes in a tortilla and wears it like a mask? Well I do.