So I Just Watched Dead Girl
That was one of the most uncomfortably creepy movies I have seen in a long time.
I kind of want a shower.
Here are some important lessons that I learned from this movie.
Spoilers and potential icky to follow.
- Do not hang out in abandoned mental hospitals.
- If you do hang out in abandoned mental hospitals, unhealthy do not go into the basement.
- If you do go into the basement, medstore and you find a barricaded room, leave it the fuck alone.
- If you do go into the barricaded room, and you find a naked woman who appears to be a member of the undead wrapped in plastic and chained to a bed, leave immediately and call the police.
- If you decide not to leave and call the police, do not, and I suspect this should go without saying, do not have sex with the zombie.
- If your friend has sex with the zombie, get a new friend. I have many people I consider myself close to in my life. I like very few of them more than I like not being devoured by zombies.
- If your friend does have sex with the zombie, at least have the decency to not act surprised when it all goes spectacularly to hell.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:31 am
What if it’s a naked man who appears to be a member of the undead wrapped in plastic and chained to a bed?
July 20th, 2011 at 12:51 pm
I saw that movie. Made me want to smack all of them upside the head. To be honest though, I would probably do all of the above until #5, because I’m just plain not that stupid, and I’m not quite that crazy. Of course, it should also go without saying that if you choose to have sex with a naked girl strapped to a table in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital, a girl who won’t die, for the love of all that is holy and/or unholy, DO NOT MAKE IT GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB! Freakin’ idiotic jocks.
July 20th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Fuck you all. Now I want to watch that movie, out of curiosity if nothing else.
July 20th, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Sounds like the words of a man who has just heard why some people don’t want to talk about looking up “pain Olympics” online. If you do, you will regret it, and I know from experience. Damn brother.
July 20th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
In general putting the sausage in a spot with teeth that doesn’t want it there is a horrible idea.
With zombies you’re just asking to be turned.
July 20th, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Netflix Instant.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Or Two-Girls-One-Cup? I still haven’t seen that…
July 21st, 2011 at 2:27 am
Aw hell, what’s *another* regret?
July 21st, 2011 at 12:58 pm
This reminds me of some one I once worked with. He thought it would be a really good idea to snort a mini bottle of Tobasco sauce. What followed was 15 minutes of him rolling around on the floor screaming and my boss, another of the guys I worked with and my self trying to breath through hysterical laughter. An hour later, he decided it hadn’t hurt that much and did the other nostral………………..
July 21st, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Ok, I can see trying it with 1 nostril, but then doing the other later…Did you keep up with this guy? He sounds like a potential Darwin Award winner.
R
July 21st, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Not really, but I hear that he’s keeping up his antics (last one was helping him self to the rations in the store he was supposed to be looking after while his TQ was away on tour…….)
July 23rd, 2011 at 8:02 pm
wait what about using jellied alchohol which is basicly c4 that acts like napal to trash the room instead of calling the police because if you call police they dont know what to o it will go south.
July 24th, 2011 at 6:16 am
Then it depends:
1) does he appear to be of the VAMPIRE dead persuasion? (or alternatively; if you point a tanning light at him, does he sparkle? Then he’s not a vampire but we’ll say ‘yes’ anyway)
2) is he hot/cute/clearly rich?
If the answer to both questions is yes, then start stripping. If the answer to either is no, then assume zombi-ism is an STD.