And Then Buffy Staked Edward. The End.
I like this version much better.
I like this version much better.
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June 24th, 2010 at 3:35 am
Definitely the better version. I had the misfortune to be dragged to the original and I kept waiting for the Vamps to stop crying and someone to die and the movie to get interesting. Fuck Anne Rice for starting this whole “Lets fuck vampires!” thing.
June 24th, 2010 at 5:10 am
Agree. Watching Twilight made me feel dirty inside, like after eating a full McDonald’s value meal. Dirty and sick. And not a little insulted, as a lady. Is that what they think that girls like? When Edward took his shirt off I was the opposite of turned on.
Also, Buffy is the best. Joss Whedon did vampires before Twilight and better than Twilight. And Buffy’s vampire love interests just kick the Cullens in the pants.
June 24th, 2010 at 6:06 am
About damn time. I had to put up with every freaking girl in my freaking high school talking about “Twilight this, Twilight that”. I could go on my Twilight rant, but you have probably already heard a male high school sophomore’s rant.
To quote my girlfriend: “It’s a character driven books with characters that can’t drive it.” And, sometime later (there’s a very good reason I dated her), “It was just terrible.”
I always loved the “And then Buffy staked Edward. The end” T-shirt, but I didn’t think that anyone would be awesome enough to do this.
CAPTCHA: Least confused. Yes, this is the least confused version of Twilight.
June 24th, 2010 at 6:28 am
I was never unlucky enough to get dragged to the movie, but I heard everyone talking about it, and I pretty much asked the same question: “When did the vampires get staked?”
But, yeah. Twilight has brought entirely new levels of creepy to the whole “let’s fuck vampires!” phenomenon. I hate Rice for starting it, and I hate Meyer for making us hear about it again.
I remember Cracked.com made this great flowchart about Stephanie Meyer, which pretty much said,
“Are you writing about Edward Cullen”
No: Start writing about him
Yes:
Are you masturbating?
Yes: describe him as Adonaic
No: Yes you are.
June 24th, 2010 at 11:24 am
hehehehe. Love
I allowed myself to be dragged to both movies, mostly because of Taylor Lautner. In my defence, I have a thing for a nice body and my husband’s been gone for a year, I have to get my fix.
June 24th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I’ve always been fond of the “Team Belmont” t-shirt that Ctrl+Alt+Del has sold. Vampires? Werewolves? BULLWHIP, mothafucka!! It’s like Raid for things that go bump in the night.
June 24th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
YES!
A friend of mine has the t-shirt with the title of this blog on it. I intend to get one for me when I find it.
Never had the misfortune of watching any of the Twilight movies and after seeing those little clips of Robert Pattinson, I’m very glad. A local reviewer said of Pattinson’s performance in ‘Remember Me’, “Even when he’s not playing a vampire he’s lifeless.” Once again, someone who depends on his/her looks to get by instead of actual talent.
June 24th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I don’t really understand, he’s not that good looking. Like if I saw him walking past me in the mall I wouldn’t even turn around. I’d be all, “eh, he’s got bad hair and he’s too skinny, maybe a six.”
June 24th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
I totally agree. Up until seeing that i had this vague notion that the movies were bad but if THAT was supposed to be the “super hot” male love interest i think i’m glad i passed. It’s pretty bad when he was on screen for all of 3 min and already his vagina had shown itself several times. ICK.
June 24th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
At last we are avenged! Even though I’ve never seen the Twilight so-called “movies”, I’ve tried reading the first book, dropped out after the first couple chapters. Yuck. I think I’ll stick to Vampire: the Masquerade :D
Captcha: tried unfolded. Nooo, don’t unfold my shirts!!!!
June 25th, 2010 at 8:44 am
His hair attained sentience in January. It is now planning to take over the world. I must slay it…
I like my men to have measurable levels of testosterone and chest hair, thankyouverymuch. I’d feel like a lesbian if I was trying to sleep with Robert Pattenson. And while there is nothing wrong with that, I just don’t swing that way…
…Okay, except for Lucy Liu.
June 25th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Never really talked too much to Twlight fans thankfully…got to see a few previews of new moon. She’s like an adrenalin freak because near death experiences make her see this guy, and he gones, and she really wants to see him.
I mean, REALLY? Your in HIGHSCHOOL. Just grow up and fuck the werewolf already >.>
I kinda want to read the book though, just to feel more justified in my dislike for it.
But most people don’t think I need to read the book to do that.
June 25th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
lolz! I would totally have fucked the werewolf! But that’s just me maybe…
Was anyone else a little freaked out by the levels of obsession in these books? Like, omg, I have to be with my boyfriend or the world ends. She spends HALF THE MOVIE moping around after he leaves instead of paying attention to the super-hot guy trying to get into her pants. Have a freaking rebound why don’t you…
June 25th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
The werewolf is WAYYYY nicer too. Like, not a creepy possessive stalker who can’t decide if he wants to screw her or eat her. Washboard-ab werewolf pretty much just wants to screw her, and maybe take her out to a nice restaurant and buy her some flowers.
Generally, my rule of thumb is to avoid guys who would be considering ways to kill me while I was having sex with them. It’s served me well so far.
Observe this video. This is totally how the book/ and movie should have ended.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqvg0C90FhM
June 25th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
You know, I just got a random video idea that made me giggle. Thankfully, the rules on Skippy’s list apply to Skipp and (hopefully) not me.
Basically, end of twilight, the girl whatsherface declares undying love, she may or not be a vamp at this point, dunno….undying love, yadda yadda yadda….
And then Edward comes out of the closet.
(I’m under the impression that he acts gay, am I wrong?)
June 25th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
Wow, the random ending piece made me really happy o.O
June 26th, 2010 at 8:05 am
This?
http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/funpages/cms_content/18287/flowchart_whead.jpg
June 26th, 2010 at 8:08 am
It’s actually suspected that he does his hair like that to keep twidiots off of him.
Reportedly, Kristen Stewart hates Bella and is only in it for the money, and Pattinson is only in it because Stewart is in it, since he hates his character too.
June 27th, 2010 at 1:53 am
That’d be a good way to stop them dragging out for another however many movies.
Is it just me who thinks that twilight fans act like overprotective girlfriends? You make fun of the books or the movies and they defend them with a crazy amount of devotion. And they always have this shocked look like you just waltzed up and kicked a puppy in front of them.
And they have werewolves? Really? But are they a bunch of effeminate pansies too? Somebody really missed the whole damn point.
Sorry for ranting, it’s been a long week.
June 27th, 2010 at 7:42 am
Yeah. That’s it.
June 27th, 2010 at 8:47 am
I got emailed a demotivator the other day about Twighlight. It was a photo of the book series and titled Twighlight. In the small print, something like: a waste of paper.
Now I have to get photo paper for my printer and a suitable frame.
June 27th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
It gets worse (or funnier, depending on perspective:
http://themovieblog.com/2010/02/twilight-fan-rips-universal-the-wolfman-is-a-cheap-twilight-ripoff
June 28th, 2010 at 11:06 am
…that is after she laughed herself sick at the sight of a sparkly vampire.
June 28th, 2010 at 11:54 am
I’m sorry, but saying that man is a vagina is doing vaginas everywhere a grave disservice.
He’s a weenie, pure and simple.
August 27th, 2010 at 12:32 am
I love this. And the best part is, me and my friend are Twilight fans.
Fans. We aren’t twihards BY FAR.
(If I spellcheck Twihards, it comes up with blowhards. Ha. Ha ha.)
(Seriously, Eclipse has WAY too much kissing. Where’s the killing? They mistyped those two letters!)
I mean, in the beginning she worries she’ll loose her sarcasm. Well, guess what! SHE DOES!
Really, we’re only in it for the fanfiction.
(Pimping fanfiction seems sacrilegious on this website, but there are some really good AUs out there. You know it’s a bad story when the FANFICTION’S are better then the CANNON!)
Captcha: Manstal districts.
Man stall districs. Districts where men stall. Oh dear god…
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