Ask A Silly Question
Today some asked me a rather silly question.
“Given the choice, would you rather sleep in or eat a delicious breakfast? Is there any food you love so much that you’d wake up at dawn or travel a great distance just to eat it?”
Right now I have two infants in my life
.
My wife could show up, and explain that I could, if I got up now get my very own main battle tank. And that we would drive that tank to a secret grotto, were I would receive a sensuous oil massage from herself, Milla Javovich, and Alyson Hannigan. With happy ending. Afterwards we would relax with a nice bottle of good mead and a pack of clove cigarettes while watching Karl Rove be forced to fight every single UFC winner ever.
And I would still probably choose sleep.
February 11th, 2010 at 12:03 am
You are neither dear sir, just a parent of two wee small time/energy eating potential leaders of the survivors of the zombiepocolypse
February 11th, 2010 at 12:11 am
oops, sorry for the Non Sequitur, I am listening to my legal homework, and reading all the skippyisims for the last month. Got the title crossed with the wrong post
February 11th, 2010 at 6:33 am
agreed
February 11th, 2010 at 7:34 am
Sounds like a logical response to me….
February 11th, 2010 at 7:38 am
Crepes
February 11th, 2010 at 9:05 am
PURE AWESOME!!!!!
skippy your me hero!!
February 11th, 2010 at 10:05 am
Don’t worry. Raise them right and in 12-14 years it will pay off with a pair of sensible (but highly sarcastic) teens you can hang out with and enjoy time together with. You just have to survive those 12-14 years.
February 11th, 2010 at 10:43 am
I read somewhere that 48% of new parents prefer sleep to sex…I’m surprised it isn’t higher o.O
February 11th, 2010 at 10:55 am
especially considering the consequences of the last time…
February 11th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Ouch.
Although yes, looking back on my childhood I can see why parents would choose sleep.
Captcha: Kis- Faltered – can’t kiss right now, too busy sleeping
February 11th, 2010 at 11:18 am
Really little pancakes?
February 11th, 2010 at 11:23 am
Its your own fault, y’know, shouldn’t have kept asking for twins for your birthday and Christmas every year. :)
February 11th, 2010 at 11:28 am
once upon a time i had a wee baby girlie. who grew into a teenager. and when she entered high school, our beautiful wee baby girlie would sit at the dinner table and when asked “how was your day, dear?” would answer:
“it was GREAT! let me tell you who i made cry TODAY!”
she’s 27 now. refuses to have kids because of how bad SHE was. (she isnt called Satan cause she’s cute, which she is. heh.)
February 11th, 2010 at 11:45 am
And especially considering that approx. 50% of new parents are *women*. If I ever meet a woman with a new baby who would prefer sex to sleep, I’ll grab the back of her neck and start looking for pods or tentacles, because she’s obviously been taken over by aliens.
Yes, I have a 4-month-old; how did you know?
February 11th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I have a sudden memory of when I was 4 or 5. I was apparently getting on my mothers nerves while she was getting ready to take me out. So she took a stool from the bathroom an said “Sit here for five minutes and don’t move.”
So I counted to five minutes in my head and then got up to see how close she was to being ready. She was annoyed, but couldn’t fault my logic. And I was a GOOD kid.
February 11th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Corn Beef Hash, or Biscuits and Gravy. One can always sleep in the car on the way to or from getting the worlds greatest breakfast, assuming one is driving said car. Take the kids, it is never to soon to teach them to appreciate a good breakfast prepared by someone else.
February 11th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Free range apple smoked bacon flavoured with maple. With Buttered rum flavoured crepes and Saskatoons.
February 11th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I just fell in love.
February 11th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Dude, given the situation above, get up and go! MBT, Milla and Alyson! I’d swim through a pool of leaches for that shit!
February 11th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
Ah, skippy, this too shall pass. The first time your kids sleep through the night, you will freak out. You will wake up at four AM with a start, realize what time it is and that you haven’t gotten up ONCE, and run into their room to make sure they are still alive. And when you see that they are sleeping peacefully, you will shrug in puzzlement and stumble back to bed. The next morning, when someone asks you how you slept, you will tell them that you couldn’t sleep because your kids were sleeping and you were waiting for them to wake up so that you could put them back to sleep, and go to sleep yourself….
Then later once you have gotten used to getting a full(ish) nights sleep, your kids will hit the “Daddy, I had a bad dream” phase, and will come crawling into your bed whenever they darn well feel like it. Once that’s over, you will get a few more years of solid sleep before you have to start staying up half the night with a gun in your lap waiting for them to come home.
No worries, you’ll sleep again when your 50..
February 11th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Well, he’s past the infant stage with his, so yeah, why not?
February 11th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Make that about 20. After 12, they’re too cool to hang out with Dad.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
I’ve done that. I think every kid has at some point.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Either that, or they’ll come in and stand over the bed staring at you, willing you to wake up. Which will happen officially after you’ve summoned up the courage to open your eyes to see what’s been staring at you.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Given my last guest story, I’d choose the food. But then again, I don’t have kids, so my opinion probably doesn’t count.
February 12th, 2010 at 5:13 am
I only understood about half of that breakfast. And I’m pretty sure it includes rum, so that’s kinda awesome I guess.
Myself, I prefer scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese and a lil bit of hot sauce (like that Rosario’s stuff they have in the chow hall), sausage, pancakes with butter and strawberry syrup, and a nice hot cup of coffee with sweetener (don’t really care which one) and cream(er)/milk.
February 12th, 2010 at 5:16 am
Switch out Mrs. Skippy for my fiance, and Milla for Kristen Bell, and I’ll pound a six pack of red bull and let you keep the tank so you can get your sleep.
Captcha: of trills – Oooh, can I get the lady who played Jadzia Dax too?
February 12th, 2010 at 7:01 am
I don’t know if you’ll read down this far, but there’s a tangentially related article that I think you might enjoy, given your new … status; about being a dad in video games.
February 12th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Why ride to a secret grotto when all you need is a motel parking lot?
February 12th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
As a tape bustin fat bastard [well, not really, but still on a diet] I’d kill for food in that venue. I’d kill for food dammit! But only after I got a chance to sleep in. Sleep rules and after all of those MREs thru the years, cold cereal aint bad at all.
If wife and Milla are there, would Alyson be the other white meat? Chollesteral free too, that’s a win-win-win-win.
February 12th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Not if you raise ’em right. When I was twelve, my parents were the coolest people in the world.
February 13th, 2010 at 8:26 am
I was told to run around the house until I was no longer hyper.
February 13th, 2010 at 10:56 am
I’ve a 9 month old. Still wakes up a few times a night, though I suspect it’s more just to be a turd. Still, given a choice between sleeping in, and the above described situation…all I have to say is, where’s the gas, where’s the break, and how much for a bottle of massage oils?
February 13th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
How hard is it to run down and kill those free-range apples anyway…
February 13th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
That’s my mom’s cure for boredom.
February 13th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
The secret grotto is for the main battle tank, I think.
February 13th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I keep wanting to type “Chicken a la king MRE”, but I can’t keep a straight face and say that so why type it.
February 14th, 2010 at 8:52 am
Those are some damn good aliens!
Captcha: sand moats: doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose? Unless it’s quicksand. Wonder how much that would cost to get installed? I want a quicksand moat at my house!
February 14th, 2010 at 8:54 am
Thats only on christmas morning. After you’ve been up all night being “Santa”.
February 14th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Who doesn’t?
February 16th, 2010 at 11:26 am
If I had a main battle tank, I wouldn’t keep it a secret. ‘Course I used to have a photo of an acquaintance working on a bren-gun carrier in his front driveway. Making his homeowner’s association REAL HAPPY, I’m sure.
March 1st, 2010 at 6:54 pm
LT you are brilliant, I just spent 15 minutes trying to work out the engineering necessary for a quicksand moat. I think i could do it too!
Doesn’t everybody want one of those.
My brother and his gf have a one year old and a baby on the way and live in my house. Right now I would pass up sex and breakfast for a morning of sleep.
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