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Sorry Australia

December 17th, 2009 by skippy

But you have always been at war with Eastasia.

I wonder if you will be able to see my website any more?

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32 Responses to “Sorry Australia”

  1. Arcanum Says:

    “As the Americans Australians learned so painfully in Earth’s final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.”
    — Commissioner Pravin Lal,
    “U.N Declaration of Rights”
    Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri

    This quote has been coming to mind entirely too much in the last few years.


    Anonymous reply on December 17th, 2009 4:53 pm:

    It’s amazing how video games can generate quotables, isn’t it?

    CAPTCHA: Dora have. Dora have what?


    StoneWolf reply on December 18th, 2009 5:22 am:

    So very true. To bad Lal was such a prick. I love that game.

    Knowlege is power.


  2. Phelps Says:

    This has to be disheartening even to you vets of the Australian-American war. After braving suicide kangaroos and coming home with boomerang shrapnel, and and now all that is washed away by this.


  3. Michael Says:

    Oh sure, they can classify every single page on the internets for us, but they can’t manage an R18+ for videogames.
    I feel like our information superhighway has tollbooths manned by grandmas who don’t understand stuff.

    Captcha: fogging re-
    It certainly is foggy in our neck of the web.


  4. Willy Says:

    “it is important that all Australians, particularly young children, are protected from this material.”



  5. Willy Says:

    And while your at it, keep 10 years from playing grand theft auto?


  6. Willy Says:

    Oh and for the record, internet filters have a habit of not working. In grade six, a bunch of us guys accidentally ran into some porn searching “purple monkey”….

    At school. Elementary school.


    StoneWolf reply on December 18th, 2009 5:24 am:

    Grade school report on the US Govermnet. Whitehouse.com (didn’t know what .gov was). In the school library.


    AFP reply on December 18th, 2009 10:47 am:

    Got in trouble with my dad for that one. Had to show him exactly what I typed in to get that site right before he walked into the room.


    Billy reply on December 18th, 2009 10:52 am:

    I found “eatmyshorts.com” looking for simpsons stuff…


    Alex reply on December 18th, 2009 12:07 pm:

    Nice try giving out a virus.


    TeratoMarty reply on December 21st, 2009 1:44 pm:

    I was in high school at the very beginning of this whole “internet” silliness. We had a few computers with some internets on them in the library. I was also starting to get an inkling that I might be… you know… gay. In all innocence, I typed “homosexual” into whatever primitive search engine we were using back then. Lemme tell you, there weren’t many pictures on the internet back then, but you can probably guess what all of them were. I am very grateful that the X button had already been invented.

    The more things change, the more they stay the same.


    Tzanti reply on December 24th, 2009 9:29 am:

    Sometimes filters can be ‘over eager’ as happened when North Lincs District Council managed to utterly screw-up their main office email and websearches. Their main office being in in the town of Scunthorpe.


  7. HK12 Says:

    Amen to that.

    Just another reason why us Aussies hate politicians.


  8. StoneWolf Says:

    Here’s my question. If the objective is to “protect” people from porn, smut, seditious ideas, and other shit, wont the people persuing the sites in order to classify them be exposed to that stuff? What do you do with the “infected” who have to view the evil smut in order to protect the rest of Australia? Will they be quarintined? Liquidated after a period of use? Or allowed back into the protected population to risk infecting everyone else with their smut memes?


    steelcobra reply on December 18th, 2009 5:49 am:

    Why do you think they “reformed” Smith in 1984 instead of just killing him?

    I was because they had made him someone who knew what was going on, and owed him for his service.


  9. ltc_insane Says:

    the irony is that every one from the business community to the police and child protection groups have said the internet filters won’t work.


  10. Steel Sterling Says:

    “Wet Paper News”, like The Onion, is satire…..


    Shadowydreamer reply on December 19th, 2009 1:42 am:

    NooOoo? Really?!


    Minty reply on December 21st, 2009 11:02 am:

    And like the Onion, there’s always a grain of truth:

    ” Without such a filter, Australia would be left morally corrupt, and at risk of attack by religious fanatics.”

    Captcha: “year’s Johns” Her year’s Johns mostly included clergymen.


  11. Ms T Says:

    That thing actually got _through_?? It’s absolutely ridiculous as a concept, and everyone in Parliament with any understanding of computers/internet has been saying that its just a big waste of tax-payers money.
    Not only will the government be able to chose what sites we can view (did our parliament members fail english the year they covered Big Brother?), not only will it cause even the fastest of Australian Broadband to be reduced to dial-up speed, its not even going to WORK! Its just going to encourage parents to be more negligent.

    I knew we should have stopped signing all those petitions/attended all those walkouts, and just gone to visit my friends still in school and – at the same time – have a little chat with the PM’s son.

    *foams at the mouth and continues to rant incomprehensibly*


  12. Captain Scurvy Says:

    Apparently the Norsefire party has moved to Australia.


  13. TheShadowCat Says:

    Is this real? Or is this just someone trying to be funny?

    CAPTCHA – pinkish report – because they ran out of red


  14. Willy Says:

    Um, the article is a satire. Internet censoring in Australia isn’t.

    The short of it is: these people are power-hungry or fucking retarded or ignorant, or most likely a combination of all 3.

    (By people I’m referring to the politicians btw.)


    ltc_insane reply on December 19th, 2009 9:27 pm:

    yes well the Australian Labor government seems to be determined to push thru with the most stupid ideas for their first term in power.


    Minty reply on December 21st, 2009 11:03 am:

    And you’re just realizing this now?


  15. no effect Says:

    A lurking Australian here I am still glad that I can get my Skippy dose of humor.

    The Australian Labor government has the most retarded views when it comes to the Internet ,I am glad that some isp’s here are challenging the whole censoring of the net


  16. Gunrunner Says:

    “the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy”

    Hmmmm, how about…the Asshole for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy…”the ABCDE” has a cute ring to it. :-P

    captcha – may piTs = where Bubba was after the april wrecks


    Minty reply on December 21st, 2009 11:05 am:

    And it’s nice and easy for everyone to remember–after all, the first qualification for the job has to be possessing nothing more than the bare minimum of knowledge.

    Hm. . . now that I think about it, you may have thrown them off with the ‘D’ and ‘E.’ Can you pare off a few words there at the end?


  17. Someone Else Says:

    The ironic thing? When the government tried to do this, someone leaked the list of sites to blacklisted, and the sites were promptly listed on Wikileaks. By trying to contain the so called “problem”, the government increased it.


  18. Tyr Says:

    Funny thing. Our school has some filtering on the internet access. For a while, it ended up blocking it’s own webpage due to overly restrictive filters. It got caught on the sports filter.


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