Don’t Hitchhike Without It
While my unit was training for our deployment to Iraq, we were stationed at Camp Shelby, Miss. While we were there, the rule about females in the male barracks, and so forth, was treated a little loosely.
The general rule was, no one of the opposite sex in barracks after 9pm. If someone of the opposite sex wanted to enter the barracks, they’d have to call “_____, on the floor!”, and wait for an “all clear”.
We had a female SGT who generally didn’t wait for the “all clear” before coming into the barracks, and a few of my roomies complained about it. Nothing was ever done about it, so one of my buddies decided to take matters into his own hands.
The next, and last time, she did this, one of my buddies had just come back from the showers, so all he had on was a towel and shower shoes. When she called “Female on the floor”, he responded with “Not clear!”. She ignored him, and walked in anyways.
His rack was on the opposite end of the barracks from where she came in, so he had plenty of time to make the point. Next thing we know, he’s walking down the center aisle, wearing nothing but shower shoes, and a strategically located sock, yelling out, “Where’s my towel?! Has anyone seen my towel?”
The before-mentioned SGT turned about 50 shades of red and purple, bolted out the door, and didn’t come into our barracks for another week.
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May 19th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
captcha: James sped…around to corner to catch the look on the SGT’s face before she bolted.
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May 20th, 2009 at 12:26 am
PLAY HER OFF KEYBOARD CAT!
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May 20th, 2009 at 1:36 am
I thought the story was funny but don’t hitchhike without what? a towel? a sock? an “all clear”? a mostly naked buddy?( that last one might help you get a ride)
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sartoris reply on May 20th, 2009 8:27 am:
dont hitchhike without a towel
its a douglas adams / hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy reference
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May 20th, 2009 at 1:56 am
ineedhelpbad – I take it you’re not a “hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” fan then?
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May 20th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Captcha: Tawdry Tom – Well the SGT certainly thought so.
As Ford would say “There’s a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is!”
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May 20th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Depending on what this guy looked like, I might have slipped a little something into his sock and told him to keep up the good work. ;-)
CAPTCHA – squids are – yes, yes they are.
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Minty reply on May 20th, 2009 9:04 am:
And if he wasn’t good-looking, what do you do then? Hm. . . to ignore, or comment on the unnecessary length of his tube sock. . . choices, choices.
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TheShadowCat reply on May 20th, 2009 11:06 am:
If he was hideously ugly, tell him he should have used an ankle sock and then keep going.
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Minty reply on May 20th, 2009 11:54 am:
Ah, but would you dare to suggest an ankle sock with a pompom on the back? Your choice of color, of course.
TheShadowCat reply on May 20th, 2009 12:25 pm:
Because it won’t allow me to reply Minty, I’m replying to myself.
Pink. I would have to be pink. With glitter.
May 20th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Wow, hilarious!
captcha : If crude- simply too good to pass up, cause he was!
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May 20th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
We had a similar rule at college. As a rule, the girls ignored it and the guys followed it because none of us wanted to be accused of rape. One year my RA had a habit of bringing his girlfriend onto the floor for the purposes of having sex in the showers, so he tended to “enforce” the all clear by making everyone clear out of the bathroom for his escapades. So one night, he orders all of us who are taking showers out. But instead of just leaving, as if of one mind, we suddenly can’t sort out whose towel is whose, and proceed to take our confusion into the hall while simultaneously blocking the bathroom door. He tried to get us in trouble for walking through our own hall in the buff. In the end we found out he was her first and he had managed to convince this poor naive girl he was “normal” sized. Living by the rule “Never carry a knife larger than you are,” this lad would have been outclassed by a swiss army knife.
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May 20th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Lol. If that had been me…first off I would have waited for the ‘all clear’ but if, for some retarded reason, I hadn’t I probably would have started laughing hysterically.
captcha: was blakeley…using a clean sock or a dirty one? The world may never know.
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