Archive for February, 2009

No shit, there I was, FT Lewis Washington, college ROTC Advanced Camp. This was the last 6 week training that ROTC Cadets would get before being commissioned.

We had a former marine in our class who proves that lobotomies are given at Paris Island.

We were at the hand grenade range, and if you’ve never been to the hand grenade range at FT Lewis, its layout is a little different. The control tower is on the opposite side of the impact area and looks down on the impact area.

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As anyone can tell you, clinic tower guard can be long and boring. Especially when you are with a moron. Even worse, viagra when you are with a moron for 24 hours straight.

Let me tell you a little about PVT Johnson. PVT Johnson was not all there. Before we deployed, drugs I had CQ (Charge of Quarters, essentially making sure things were relatively quiet in the barracks), and walked upstairs to find PVT Johnson staring at the television in the day room, laughing his ass off.

I walked over to find out what was so funny, and there he is, staring at a blank TV set. There was nothing on, there was no picture; the damned thing wasn’t even turned on. But there he is, almost in tears over something that was only playing in his head.

Come to find out the damn thing wasn’t even plugged in.

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So my wife’s birthday is this Friday.  And to celebrate this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman, who for some reason is willing to put up with my nonsense, I have offered to take her out to any restaurant that she desires.

She chose the Heart Attack Grill.

I love this woman.

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Last week I got the following email:

Hey after the first petrol station list and the amount of replies it got, I figured you might want this one, there’s been a few management changes were I work and a couple of policies got altered, so without further ado, here’s the Anonymous and Still Employed list Part 2:

(Submitted by Anonymous and Still Employed)

1.       Staff can’t take items from the lost and found home to their new puppy

2.       Price tags do not belong on important equipment such as the cash register, coffee machines, or the automatic doors

3.       The shift ends when the clock on the wall says so, not when my wristwatch does – Especially when my watch stopped three days ago

4.       Not allowed to change the time on the wall clock

5.       Not even when I point out that it changes anyway

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