Note from submitter:
I have done most of these, but those that I have not personally done others have. I retain my job because I am polite to the customers (within their hearing) and “dementedly funny” the rest of the time. (I quote my department boss there.) Some insanity is, I firmly believe, absolutely vital for surviving a 9 hour shift with a bunch of people that you might not spend time with if you were not forced to work together. Most places I have worked are worthy of lists like this, and I believe that every employee ever could put a list together. Unless you are a sad, dull, boring horrible person. In which case do six to eight tequila slammers and then try again. You might not do any better, but at least it will seem more amusing because you are drunk.
(Submitted by Catherine)
- Not to build forts with empty boxes
- Not to build castles with empty boxes
- Not to leave a list of employee names for the manager with the heading “need firing”
- Even if they do.
- I am not allowed to declare martial law.
- Not to refer to the stockboys as “grunts”
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