We had those in Nam!
This story was related to me by one of my NCO’s, and as such I felt obliged to share it with you all. As told to me by SGT S.
No shit there I was, Fort Benning, Georgia 1990-something. My buddies and I were reading through our various sources of adult entertainment when we came along the topic of Penis Pumps. As it turned out, none of us had ever tried one, and after reading about how well they worked to increase the size of our man-parts, my squad made a pact to buy one for each of us.
Later that month 12 pumps arrived, and the only sounds one could hear late at night was akin to 12 bicycle tires being pumped manually.
Only one week later our brand new First Sergeant joined our outfit, and of course he was set to inspect the barracks. I was first to be inspected, and upon finding my manhood enhancer he got hot. “I know what this is, we had these in Nam! You are in some serious trouble! Though this one is kinda strange? Where do you inhale out of?”
That is when my LT stepped in, “Um, Top. That’s not a bong? That’s SGT S’s Penis pump?” Top got a disgusted look on his face and threw my pump across the room. Upon inspecting the rest of my squad mates and finding another, and yet another, Top put his hands on his hips and announced that “I must have the most well hung squad on this post, you buncha sick bastards.”
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July 11th, 2008 at 9:59 am
That has to be the most awesome Sergeant ever… he wasn’t pissed that they were bongs, but he was pissed that they were penis pumps?
Captcha: Gaze Youngs
Also, first poast! \o/
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July 11th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Well, he put his hands on it. And another dude’s dong was in it.
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July 11th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Didn’t they do that joke in “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder” movie?
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July 11th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
That was funny. I would have wet myself it he put his mouth on it trying to figure out where to inhale from.
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July 11th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Some how enhancing the size of your manhood does NOT seem to be a team sport to me. But then I am not in the Army, or at Ft Benning. Although I coulds see you guys having them lined up for inspection along with the Inflatable sheep ” Son, your Penis pump is not aligned properly with the sheep in the Catholic priest outfit, Im going to give you until i finish inspecting the other rooms to straighten it up, or you will have remedial interior design this weekend” The NEW Kinder More Gentle Army, gotta love it
Captcha: Totally Wally
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July 12th, 2008 at 1:50 am
TGOBG: I can see it happening. I get the impression that, outside of actual combat, the Army doesn’t care so much what the rules are so long as the rules EXIST and you FOLLOW THEM, by gum. And there’s always a rule somewhere to cover whatever your situation may be….
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July 12th, 2008 at 4:39 am
actually when u do find a situation were theres no rules for ur usually in trouble afterwards
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July 13th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I’m surprised that he didn’t ask where his is.
Captcha “his Andree” I’m guessing somebody named theirs
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October 3rd, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Got to say I can imagine that sergeant inspecting the rest… I wouldn’t have been able to stand up straight because I would be laughing so hard.
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