So today my wife woke up to a nasty bug on her birthday. A close friend of ours suggested medicinal hot toddies.
Our friend neglected to mention that hot toddies can have debilitating side effects.
Side effects include:
Wearing a pirate hat all day.
Getting stuck in the bathtub multiple times despite the fact that you never once set out to enter the bathtub in the first place.
Removing Christmas decorations with your whole body.
Loud descriptions of lesbian sex at inopportune moments.
Headbutting exercise equipment.
Mystery injuries to your hand that have probably have nothing to do with the fact that this is the second time your husband has had to haul you out of the bathtub.
Children using your unconscious body as playground equipment/musical instrument.
Pirate hats stuck in weird places.