River Crossing
South Armagh in Northern Ireland is rural…very, very rural!! There are some of the tallest, thickest hedgerows that you’ve ever seen and one of the main rules of patrolling out there is “Don’t use gates, bridges or any other channeled path”. This was brought in due to the fact that the IRA had been burying huge bombs under gateways between fields and in one instance, detonated it remotely, killing two guys and seriously wounding the other two guys in a section of 4 men. Getting through, over or around the hedgerows, ditches, swamps and fields full of mad Irish cows was always something to look forward to on every patrol…..NOT!!
Patrolling is also a bitch because of the amount of kit you have to carry. A normal patrol will see the average troop humping upwards of 40 pounds of gear, sometimes as much as 80 if we were on extended patrols or OPs. I only weigh 165 now pounds and was quite a bit smaller and lighter back then, so you can imagine what a bitch it was for me!!
It was on one of these patrols that our section came to a water crossing. The water looked deep and it was just too wide to attempt to throw our gear across and then take running jumps to the other side. There was a small foot bridge about 250 yards further up but we were close to the end of our tour and knew better than to use it!
We decided that we would use 2 guys to toss the rucks across and debating who should try the jump to make sure they didn’t slide back into the water. So you’ve got four guys, lying on the banks, arguing and bitching about who’s turn it is to jump.
One guy “Robbo” thoughy “f**k this” and says “I’ll tell you how deep it is”, drops his ruck and jumps straight into the middle of the stream. Everything went under apart from the top of his helmet!
Robbo surfaced again and we said he was mad (of course), but it was only as deep as the top of his helmet. Robbo then suggested that as he’s already wet, he’ll go over to catch the rucks and then jump back in and we can use the top of his helmet like a stepping stone.
The plan worked perfectly and we continued the patrol, eventually making our way back to base, with Robbo squelching along in the dark!!
We went straight in for the debrief and the OPs guy asked why the hell Robbo was the only guy who was wet and we told him of our new way of crossing water. This story eventually made its way back to the OC and an order was issued for the following patrol…….”Due to safety reasons, personnel are under no circumstances to submerge themselves, or be used as a means of crossing water obstacles”.
There’s a sad, bitter twist to this tale and an incident occurred shortly after we had returned to our home unit in Germany. The unit that replaced us was patrolling in the same area, decided to use the bridge to cross the obstacle and got on the wrong side of about a quarter ton of home made explosives.
It makes me wonder if there was perhaps some republican terrorist out there watching us that day with his finger on the detonator expecting us to use the bridge. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he recounted what he had seen us do to his boss!!
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June 9th, 2009 at 4:33 am
I didn’t even know that soldiers ran patrols in Ireland.
Note to self: the road less traveled is less likely to be laden with deadly explosives. Thanks for the tip!
CAPTCHA: elided 29
I don’t even know what that means.
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steelcobra reply on June 9th, 2009 5:28 am:
He’s British, obviously.
And the saying goes “The easy way is mined.”
CAPTCHA: program hedley – to do what?
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CCO reply on June 9th, 2009 6:52 am:
It was “back in the day” when Northern Ireland was part of the British Empire (or perhaps Great Britain) and Queen Elizabeth II reign over “the United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland”.
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GBlair reply on June 9th, 2009 9:12 am:
Northern Ireland still IS part of the UK.
Patrols are pretty rare now, at least up in Co. Antrim. But I still see AAC helicopters almost daily. Saw a few hercy birds back when the Iraq war was starting as well.
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CCO reply on June 9th, 2009 4:58 pm:
Oops, sorry. Should have doubled check that on the internet (‘cept I just knew it was so–another corollary of Murphy’s law rears its head.)
anselm reply on June 11th, 2009 10:08 pm:
To elide is to slur two syllables together. Common in poetry.
Example:
You stepped on the soldier’s helmet to get to the to THE OTHER side.
You stepped on the soldier’s helmet to get to the to TH’OTHER side.
Presto! Elision!
Captcha: tellegen jungle
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June 9th, 2009 at 5:01 am
Rule of thumb: never use bridges, gates or any other contrivance/structure that makes life easier. I heard that once, in the safety of my office, while avoiding paper cuts.
capthca: omission Councilmen – sounds like an election year.
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CCO reply on June 9th, 2009 5:03 pm:
In Vietnam the veterans would insist on hacking there own trails out of the jungle just for that reason; at least according to one book I read, Charlie Company: What Vietnam Did to Us
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simple-minded reply on June 10th, 2009 5:33 pm:
ha, I’m not sure how reliable your sources are after your last comment :)however, my inherent trust in people wants to believe you….probably won’t tho
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June 9th, 2009 at 5:17 am
makes my cranky-boss complaints kinda trivial!
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June 9th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Helmet stepping stone. Damn, I thought they only did that in cartoons, nice to hear it put to use.
Off the subject – there were a lot of exclamation marks there, are you feeling ok?
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June 9th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Jeez, you could break the guy’s neck doing that. Very inventive though.
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CCO reply on June 9th, 2009 5:09 pm:
You probably could at that; using the shoulders should be OK. You’d have to sort of guess where they where though.
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CCO reply on June 9th, 2009 5:11 pm:
Can’t spell today; homophone confusion.
SUB “their” for “there”
SUB “were” for “where”
END
Thank you.
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June 9th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Awww gotta love Brit Squaddies, absolutely no sense of sanity or normality whatsoever. Love them all. Except for the Blues & Royals ;)
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Ben reply on June 24th, 2009 5:10 am:
I love reading the occasional story about squaddies on here, makes a nice change. Only other one I can remember is the dit about skippy starting on a SAS fella.
I read a great one a few days ago:
During WWII, the only order regarding dress given by Monty was “Top hats will not be worn in the 8th army” to driver in Sicily.
Other than the hat the squaddie was stark b*ll*ck naked!
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June 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Gotta agree that this would make a very funny cartoon.
CAPTCHA: Messrs Manhat… helps us cross rivers!
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June 10th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Anyone remember the scene in “Longest Day” the 1960’s film about D-Day, when the Brit chaplain loses his communion kit? Kind of reminds me of that. All the poor Private could do was sit there in wild-eyed amazement and try to help out without being noticed. RIR, Ox and Bucks you gotta love those guys. Everyone has to read about Pegasus Bridge. Stellar operation on their part.
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