Random stuff from Michiels Head
You hear people say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think the definition of insanity is using the same tired cliche over and over and expecting it to be meaningful.
Speaking of cliches…
The first sign that someone is thinking outside of the box is if they can come up with another phrase for thinking outside of the box. It is an old, tired cliche, and is a very “in the box” phrase and people need to stop using it. People use it like they think they are some how edgy and creative but they are not. At best, they are thinking on the other side of the Mobius strip.
Ever since President Obama lifted the ban on stem cell research, the nut jobs have been getting all worried about cloning. I don’t know why anyone would be against cloning unless they are just bigots. Clones are people, just like you and me.
PERSONALITY TEST
If a dead person comes back to life, do you…
(A) seek medical assistance
(B) shoot them in the head
(C) worship them as the son of god
How you answer that question says a lot about you as a person.
If you are dead and come back to life, do you want someone to…
(A) seek medical assistance
(B) shoot you in the head
(C) worship you as the son of god
How you answer that question says a lot about you as a person.
BONUS QUESTION
If you see a beam of light come out of the sky and lift a person off the ground and carry them skyward, do you think that…
(A) they are ascending to heaven
(B) they are being abducted by aliens
(C) those brownies weren’t normal brownies
Follow
March 24th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
1: A
2: A
3: C, substituting an appropriate recently-ingested consumable
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Minty reply on March 24th, 2009 10:04 pm:
Man, I was boring answering those questions: B, A, B.
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TheShadowCat reply on March 26th, 2009 7:52 am:
I gave the same answers.
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March 24th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Didn’t scientists abandon cloning as non-viable?
Love the (for once) clever use of clichés, by the way.
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Ix reply on March 25th, 2009 9:45 pm:
I was of the understanding that it’s not so much “non-viable” as it is “way too expensive to be worth the results we can produce right now”.
I mean, they can create clones. Look at Dolly, and all the other animals.
But current methods do have costs to them. First, it’s expensive, both in monetary resources and in the resources required to create just one clone.
Second, because of the methods currently used, clones live much shorter lives – mostly because their genes are working off the remaining lifespan the original had when the original’s DNA was harvested.
Third, it’s dawned on people that clones are just a really expensive way of making twins; because genes don’t encode for memory, anything the original knows, the clone will have to relearn – and since the clone will be laying down all-new neural pathways, they might be interested in completely different things.
The issues with making cloned organs are entirely different from the ones with making clones of whole people; the organs aren’t working off of a fixed lifespan, for one.
(Captcha: pre-game motorman. The guy who does the really, really fast talking before the same starts?)
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Ix reply on March 25th, 2009 9:49 pm:
Also: a,a,b. If the person is a zombie, then I’ll shoot them – if it’s just that their heart stopped and then restarted or something like that, I’m getting medical assistance; same for if it’s me spontaneously reviving – I’d rather they get medical assistance just in case, and leave shooting for if it’s proven that I’m a zombie.
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TheShadowCat reply on March 26th, 2009 7:55 am:
From notalwaysright.com
Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…
Bookstore | New York, USA
Customer: “I need a book on cloning.”
Me: “OK – would you like a book on the ethics of cloning, or maybe the history of it?”
Customer: “No, I need a how-to book on cloning animals.”
Me: “Um…cloning is a pretty complicated process. You’ll need several years of college education to be able to clone an animal.”
Customer: “No you don’t! That’s just what we’ve been told! I read about it, and you can do it with a turkey baster in your kitchen!”
Me: “I think you’re thinking of artificial insemination…”
Customer: “NO I’M NOT! I NEED TO CLONE MY DOG!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “I have a boy dog, and I love him very much, but he’s a bad dog. I heard that girl dogs are much nicer, so I want to clone my dog and make a girl dog! STOP HIDING THE BOOKS FROM ME!!!”
Me: *points to back corner* “Our science section is that way. Go knock yourself out.”
Next Customer In Line: “How the h*** did you just keep your cool through that?”
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Minty reply on March 26th, 2009 8:52 am:
“Second, because of the methods currently used, clones live much shorter lives – mostly because their genes are working off the remaining lifespan the original had when the original’s DNA was harvested.”
That’s what I was thinking of when I said “non-viable.” As in “the clones don’t live as long, so it’s impractical.” I didn’t realize cloned organs don’t have the same problem. So. . . start your test tubes?
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Stickfodder reply on March 26th, 2009 10:18 am:
Why don’t we just clone people as soon as they’re born.
Ix reply on March 30th, 2009 2:34 pm:
Well, if I’m remembering right, cloned organs don’t have the same problem, because they’re working from a different set of genes. But my knowledge on this is kinda sketchy.
Re: Stickfodder: Ethical reasons, primarily. And the fact that it’s more money than most people want to sink into the whole thing; it’s easier and cheaper to hire and train new Wal-Mart employees than it is to clone new employees that are indoctrinated to be loyal to the company – especially since the clone takes the same amount of time to reach maturity as the original would.
March 24th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
A,B,A. I just want to stay dead. Besides, I think that I could do more mischeif as a gost.
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Strange reply on March 24th, 2009 10:40 pm:
I meant A,B,B, sorry.
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Minty reply on March 25th, 2009 9:05 am:
Sure you did. . . ^.^
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March 24th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
I’m thinking:
B-I’m not taking any chances.
C-What can I say I have an ego the size of the Himalayas.
B-I like to think that aliens enjoy messing with all the paranoid delusional nut jobs out there.
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March 24th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
There’s something wrong with being worshipped as a God(dess?)
Captcha involves the IRS. I am nervous.
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March 24th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
BBC
Dead bodies coming back to life means a strong chance of zombies. Zombies are not good. Zombies are shot in the head.
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Tim Covington reply on March 25th, 2009 5:36 am:
My exact answer. The only good zombie is a dead zombie. The same goes for vampires and werewolves.
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Leon reply on March 25th, 2009 12:34 pm:
The Vampire Anti-Defamation Coalition would like to have a word with you… if we weren’t dealing with all the flak from Twilight. Damn you Stephenie Meyer!
I opted for BCB.
I find it amusing that people keep thinking cloning means you pop out an exact copy of an individual/animal. Well unless you can have that person/pet experience the exact same events, live through the exact same time – you’re not going to have an exact damn copy!
Captcha: Shibley and… and what? Dont’ keep me hanging!
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Dave in NC reply on March 25th, 2009 2:50 pm:
aren’t zombies by definition already dead?
captcha: event Desconocida – okay, the names for conventions are just getting weird now.
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Sgt. Spooky reply on March 26th, 2009 8:35 pm:
whats wrong with werewolves? We’re….I mean theyre people too. So what if they get furry once a month? Thats nothing compared to PMS!
Captcha: Hedwig stu- hmmmm owl stew. just like mom used to make.
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Stickfodder reply on March 26th, 2009 10:32 pm:
Yeah werewolves only transform for one night. Not for several days.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:38 am
B If it’s dead it should stay dead.
C who wouldn’t want all the groupies?
C and/or did i get bonked on the head?
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March 25th, 2009 at 2:27 am
B either they are a zombie or they are trying to horn in on my son of god action. Either way I’m not taking chances.
C Just think of all the evil I could do as the son of god.
C Being the son of god I think I would know about any aliens or heaven escalators.
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Bryan reply on March 25th, 2009 3:56 am:
Agreed. I said the same exact thing.
Captcha: 182 value – Blink 182 at Walmart!
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March 25th, 2009 at 4:18 am
B) Z day is upon us. I shall procede to decapitate every other body in the morgue.
C) So I’m a power hungry madman. Just like everyone else.
B) Steps for first contact. Bring a gun. Bring all your friends with guns. Bring a radio. Bring a translator. Try to communicate politly (they could be friendly). Failing this, resort to violent improvisation.
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Anna reply on March 25th, 2009 7:25 am:
“C) So I’m a power hungry madman. Just like everyone else.”
But please remember what happened to the last son of God, slightly uncomfortable, no?
Captcha – Fanwood there’s a special kind?
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StoneWolf reply on March 25th, 2009 10:50 am:
Well, yes, but I’m not restrickting myself to Judeo-Christian lore. We have Greek, Celtic, Norse, and a plethora of others. Think what it would be like to be the son of Thor or Mars! That could be great fun!
Captcha: Bedlam .46, Ireland’s answer to Colt .45
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Minty reply on March 25th, 2009 9:07 am:
“B) Z day is upon us. I shall procede to decapitate every other body in the morgue.”
Why only every other body? Why take chances?
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StoneWolf reply on March 25th, 2009 10:47 am:
Every other body, as in everyone other than the one I just shot. I’m not going to skip any. Besides, once that’s done I need to get home to my Z-Day kit.
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March 25th, 2009 at 5:01 am
D. run like hell.
E. not gonna happen: got laid off, don’t have health insurance till I get another job.
C. damn fine brownies. got more?
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March 25th, 2009 at 7:27 am
B: Get off my lawn, you brain eating Zombie Bastards!
C: Alriiiiight, next stop, fortress of darkness!
C: Huh Huh, hello thinks Mr Purple cat.
By the way, Sanity is the normal pattern of human behaviour, therefore Insanity is starting with a normal pattern of human behaviour but then changing it. Unsanity, on the other hand, is NEVER having the normal pattern of human behaviour, that’s right, no being a jackass for no reason or screwing people over for a few dollars. You wanted a better world: Unsanity is calling, do you answer?
Um, sorry about this rant, I think it was those brownies.
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March 25th, 2009 at 7:36 am
for me its
A) then B)
A) so I can eat the brains of the medics
D) I finally lost it.
And if insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results, then that means Vegas is full of madmen. And I don’t say that I think outside the box, I just think inside a different box. And clones will always be better than drones.
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Stickfodder reply on March 25th, 2009 9:50 am:
I think with the first and second answer “A” and “B” are technically one in the same.
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Billy reply on March 25th, 2009 12:22 pm:
To clarify, the first one, I would ask for med assistance, then shoot them in the head, as to have the meds figure out later how the random guy did it. the second one, I would want the person to get me med assistance, so I could eat his brains and the brains of a medic. (If I cannot choose sides, I shall do whatever is necessary for whatever side i’m stuck with.)
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March 25th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Being the kind of military officer I am, I make them believe I am thinking inside their box, but instead I’m in another bigger box that contains theirs. Their box is ordinary cardboard with no holes. Mine has windows with drapes and, wait, what is that? My windows have bars! Damn. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that second brownie!
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March 25th, 2009 at 8:24 am
1)
My answer: If I was damn certain they were dead because they had no pulse, weren’t breathing, and had a gaping hole in their chest, I choose B, otherwise, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and go with A
2)
My answer: C, totally, why would even begin to think otherwise. Honestly, the very idea that I would have to die and come back from the dead in order for any of you to Worship me just exposes your lack of vision and understanding, and if you are all really that clueless, I don’t want you as worshipers anyway.
3)
My answer: If I’d eaten or drank anything recently, C, otherwise, B is quite possible. If I think B is possible, I will begin looking in the area for my red supersuit those little bastards promised the last time they were here.
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March 25th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Oops. Forgot the reason I was here. I agree with everyone else. Kill the zombies trying to get some of the son of god action. There is only room for one son of god at a time.
Did I ever tell you about the time I was abducted by aliens? They don’t like zombies either.
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March 25th, 2009 at 8:43 am
suddenly I remember an old TMBG song called “kiss me son of god”
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March 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
I’m sorry, but if I saw a cloned version of me, I would have to wonder if it was the evil one, hopefully the thought would come to me that I am the evil one and kill my clone before the same thought occured to him.
Owww that hurt my head.
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Michiel reply on March 26th, 2009 6:56 am:
You’re the conservative republican clone… of COURSE you are the evil one. ;-)
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LT Ronald reply on March 26th, 2009 7:20 am:
Ture, and I’d be the one with gun to do it, can’t afford the ammo any more thanks to the extra taxes on such things, but good point.
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March 25th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
B) Just on principle
C) Because millions of people would believe me
C) Probably the real cause of the previous 2 questions.
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March 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Am I the only one choosing C, C, C?
1st C, just in case.
2nd C, cuz I’m an egotistical bastard.
3rd C, BROWNIES! [unless ya got a cubscout handy]
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March 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
B. They ain’t touching my brain!
C. There’s something wrong with being worshipped as a goddess?
C. Yeah. Those brownies might have had some ‘splody stuff in them.
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March 25th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
B.
B.
A (I’m probably alone on this one)
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March 25th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
1) In fairness to the Christians out there. If I saw the guy die, get buried (or entombed), he stayed that way for three days and then got up and wandered around it would be B or C, based entirely on smell.
2) C (DUH!!!)
3) A (Aliens are only for those afraid to admit the fallibility of Man is as good as the Universe, or our little corner of it, is gonna get.) I don’t eat Brownies.
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March 25th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
If its someone else rising from the dead, Zombie attack.. break out the flamethrowers and shotguns.
If it is me rising from the dead, then by all means, worship me as the goddess I truly am.
And, just how much hashish did you include in these anyway?
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March 25th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
if 2 clones of the same person have sex is it incest or masterbation?
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Michiel reply on March 26th, 2009 6:59 am:
Incesterbation
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paula reply on March 26th, 2009 7:09 am:
a world-wide favorite on YouTube
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TeratoMarty reply on March 26th, 2009 10:09 am:
I dunno, let me go clone myself and I’ll get back to you.
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March 27th, 2009 at 7:58 am
B- Just to be safe
B- I don’t think I could live with myself smelling that bad
C- Give me another one, maybe we’ll take a little trip.
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March 27th, 2009 at 8:28 am
B. zombies!!!
C. except me, i want catholic schoolgirls.
C. mmmm, brownies….
captcha: Yarwood said don’t know what he said, or why I should care.
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March 31st, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Hehe, mobius strip. I’m gonna use that now.
1. b
2. b (I wouldn’t want to bring the world to a zombie apocalypse)
3. depends upon the situation.
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