Current Events

Once again I examine the issues happening today.

1. Vermont Senator Leahy has introduced a bill to make it a Federal crime to sell fake maple syrup. Mrs Butterworth and Aunt Jemima last seen driving off a cliff in a 1966 Thunderbird.
2. Republican Party is becoming too extreme, says noted sane moderate Pat Robertson.  GOP seen slamming a Mountain Dew and snowboarding down a sky-scraper.
3. FBI suspects Rep Murtha is corrupt.  Investigation on the wetness of water still ongoing.
4. Afghan President: I will back Pakistan if it goes to war with the US.  Unless my regime is propped up entirely by the US military…you know what?  Never mind.
5. Hooray! We got rid of the illegal immigrants.  Crap.  We got rid of the illegal immigrants.
6. Sure I kidnap and murder people, but at least I don’t read Twilight.
7. Qaddafi died brutally at the hands of the people of the country he used to run.  I hope he had the decency to not look surprised right before it happened. (Note: not linking the video on here, it’s as bad as you would expect)
8. Keira Knightly does not let people spank her.  That’s it.  She’s off the list.
9. Just in time for Halloween Facebook incorporates the New York  Sex Offender Registry.  Or as trick-or-treaters call it “The map to the really good candy.”
10. “Oh crap, is it after midnight already?”

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2011 at 11:43 am and is filed under Just kind of babbling. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.