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on Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 at 7:37 pm and is filed under Fun with internets.
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“Yes your honor, the former client commissioned me for job X, as per exhibit A, our Contract. After delivery of (goods/services), documented on exhibit B, the signed receipt, attempted to renegotiate payment after the fact, in clear violation of both the contract itself and Vermont State civil law. It is therefore perfectly understandable your Honor that I mistook the former client, who was standing on my property at the time of the exchange, was mistaken for a common thief and upon failure to comply with a verbal cease and desist order was fired upon in defense of hearth and home. As you may imagine, your Honor, I understandably felt threatened to have a thief in my home with my wife in the next room. Therefore I feel my actions were perfectly justified and that the former Client’s associates should be required to pay not only the full amount of the original contract, but court costs incurred by this action, loss of income for time required to be present in this court, and reimbursement for ammunition expended in the defense of my home and family. Thank you your Honor.”
I love Vermont. And I’ve never been there. Any state that wants to charge people an extra tax for not owning a gun (and therefore requiring extra police protection) is okay in my book…. and, for those keeping track, I’m baaaaaak….
Okay, then. So, can’t move to Vermont, because if I own I gun, the only thing I’m liable to shoot is my own foot. Oh, and I refuse to pay taxes on something easily remedied.
I love the guys that call the computer help desk YEARS after their warranty or service agreement is up and want free service. These are the guys that insult the product when you refuse the free service – as if I care that they think a 10 year old computer is a “piece of shit.”
Never, NEVER intimate, hint or tell family/friends/anyone that you know anything about computers, because you are then supposed to provide FREE support until the end of time. If the hardware is broken or the software is Micro.., er, sucks, it will always be your fault. I tell ’em that my training is out of date or that they can’t afford my rates: $150 for the first hour or portion of that hour and $100 for every hour, or portion of an hour after that. The rest of my conversation goes, “Why yes, I bet Geek Squad is much cheaper than that.”
Yeah, I got out of that with two responses after a brief inspection of their gear. 1) I recommend you burn it down and start over. 2)Well, its an expensive paperweight now, but I can use it for a live fire target if you don’t want it anymore.
People generally get you aren’t going to be helpful when they realize you look at their old hardware as target practice, even if its only a minor glitch they’re fussing about.
Your mom doesn’t count as an “in-house customer”, even if you are living in her basement and she is paying for the roof over your head and the food in your belly.
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April 21st, 2010 at 8:41 pm
I’d murder someone inside of fifteen minutes.
You sir are a more patient human being than I. Of course, that might be a necessity when you have twins…
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April 21st, 2010 at 10:24 pm
And this is exactly why I can never work with the public ever again–too many “justifiable homicides” on my watch.
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StoneWolf reply on April 22nd, 2010 4:40 pm:
“Yes your honor, the former client commissioned me for job X, as per exhibit A, our Contract. After delivery of (goods/services), documented on exhibit B, the signed receipt, attempted to renegotiate payment after the fact, in clear violation of both the contract itself and Vermont State civil law. It is therefore perfectly understandable your Honor that I mistook the former client, who was standing on my property at the time of the exchange, was mistaken for a common thief and upon failure to comply with a verbal cease and desist order was fired upon in defense of hearth and home. As you may imagine, your Honor, I understandably felt threatened to have a thief in my home with my wife in the next room. Therefore I feel my actions were perfectly justified and that the former Client’s associates should be required to pay not only the full amount of the original contract, but court costs incurred by this action, loss of income for time required to be present in this court, and reimbursement for ammunition expended in the defense of my home and family. Thank you your Honor.”
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Raven Prometheus reply on April 22nd, 2010 9:54 pm:
I love Vermont. And I’ve never been there. Any state that wants to charge people an extra tax for not owning a gun (and therefore requiring extra police protection) is okay in my book…. and, for those keeping track, I’m baaaaaak….
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Minty reply on April 23rd, 2010 12:51 am:
Okay, then. So, can’t move to Vermont, because if I own I gun, the only thing I’m liable to shoot is my own foot. Oh, and I refuse to pay taxes on something easily remedied.
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:28 am
Isn’t that basically fraud, then? Shouldn’t they be, I don’t know, in fucking jail?
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April 22nd, 2010 at 12:50 pm
This is why we can’t have nice things.
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April 23rd, 2010 at 6:02 am
I love the guys that call the computer help desk YEARS after their warranty or service agreement is up and want free service. These are the guys that insult the product when you refuse the free service – as if I care that they think a 10 year old computer is a “piece of shit.”
Never, NEVER intimate, hint or tell family/friends/anyone that you know anything about computers, because you are then supposed to provide FREE support until the end of time. If the hardware is broken or the software is Micro.., er, sucks, it will always be your fault. I tell ’em that my training is out of date or that they can’t afford my rates: $150 for the first hour or portion of that hour and $100 for every hour, or portion of an hour after that. The rest of my conversation goes, “Why yes, I bet Geek Squad is much cheaper than that.”
Reply
April 23rd, 2010 at 7:11 pm
Yeah, I got out of that with two responses after a brief inspection of their gear. 1) I recommend you burn it down and start over. 2)Well, its an expensive paperweight now, but I can use it for a live fire target if you don’t want it anymore.
People generally get you aren’t going to be helpful when they realize you look at their old hardware as target practice, even if its only a minor glitch they’re fussing about.
Reply
StoneWolf reply on April 23rd, 2010 7:11 pm:
Shit, I meant to reply to Speed there.
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April 24th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Oh don’t get me started.I have been living this nightmare with an in-house customer for almost a year…
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David reply on April 28th, 2010 2:25 pm:
Your mom doesn’t count as an “in-house customer”, even if you are living in her basement and she is paying for the roof over your head and the food in your belly.
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