Night Filler List
(Submitted by ltc_insane)
1. Have pallet jack races around the store when the day staff go home.
2. Riding a pallet jack period is against OH&S even though the stock runners still do it regardless.
3. Should not laugh in any of the night fill managers faces when they tell me I have to do the impossible to fulfill the store managers unrealistic expectations.
4. Should not laugh at my managers when they say there is not allowed to be any excess stock of lines which are full and won’t go on the shelf.
5. When working past midnight night fillers probably should not start a congo line around the store.
6. I should not sing the D&D version of Jingle Bells during Xmas time to compensate for the horrible Xmas songs/carols that play over the store speakers all night.
7. Bon Jovi songs should not be played loudly & repeatedly from the stereos in the electronics department.
8. I should not strongly curse the store manager by the many foul names I have labeled him with just because he’s a clueless asshole.
9. Especially when he is in the next room and may hear me.
10. I should not threaten to throw anyone down the compactor………no matter how much they may deserve it.
11. I should not threaten to kill anyone, especially not any of the day staff managers.
12. I also should not threaten to kill the pay office staff even though they seem to fuck staff pay on a regular basis.
13. I shouldn’t tell the night fill head manager that she has a nice ass, even though she does have a nice ass and finds it amusing that I would even say that to her.
14. I shouldn’t flirt with the night fill head manager in any way, shape or form even if I do it to keep her sane and amused.
15. I should not laugh when I knock an entire end of books over.
16. I should not refer to new night fillers as “fresh meat for the grinder”.
17. I will never be allowed to use my altered version of a certain speech made by the drill sergeant in the pilot of Space Above & Beyond on new night fillers.
18. I should not swear when the store is still open.
19. I should not swear so loudly that i can be heard clear across the store.
20. ……….even if a bunch of shelves nearly took my head off
21. ……….even if the end cap of stock I’ve just filled collapses because the brackets and shelves are useless.
22. I should not curse customers for leaving rubbish and stock from other departments all over the place ……… especially when the store is still open.
23. I am should not refer to the store as one big OH&S violation.
24. Night fill should not shake the vending machines.
25. ……… even if the food/drinks frequently gets stuck in them
26. I am not allowed to kick the vending machine when it short charges me for 3rd time in a week.
27. Night fill are not allowed to get bolt cutters to cut off the padlock to lockup so we so we can put away the expensive electronic stock because the fools from the day staff locked the key away where we cannot get at them.
28. I should not take pride in the fact that one of the night fill head managers I worked under told me that he has never encountered someone who hates their work place as much as I did.
29. I should not threaten to kill members of the day staff for leaving trolleys of cardboard at the compactor without bothering to put it in the compactor and leaving it for us to deal with.
30. Night fillers should not play soccer inside the store and laugh at the amount of stock that is knocked off the shelves during it.
31. I am not allowed to refer to the counting and checking during stocktaking as a waste of night fill’s time.
32. Night fill managers are not allowed to use the PA to tell stories during night fill.
33. Or do silly voices.
34. Night fill are not allowed to suck helium while inflating balloons to do silly voices.
35. I should not refer to the female staff who dress up as Santa’s helpers at Xmas time as “Santa’s Sexy Helpers” even if their skirts were incredibly short for their size.
36. I should not remind the night fill managers that with all the unpaid work they get stuck having to work that they are making less per hour than a 15 year old Macca’s worker.
37. Night fillers should not tell their managers that they are making more money than the managers.
38. I should not take spiteful pleasure in racking up overtime just to spite the store manager for being a tight-fisted moron.
39. I should not curse the cleaners who come to do the floors of the store for keeping the night fill staff back for half and hour because they cleaned and sealed the floor on the way to the back door.
40. Night fill should not curse the cleaners for turning up at the worst possible times and making our work harder by having to go around the areas they are cleaning.
41. I am not allowed to dismantle a cardboard display stand with a crowbar.
42. Night fill is not allowed to use large boxes to hide in just so we scare the crap out of someone.
43. I should not refer to most of the monthly corporate training/education as a waste of night fills time.
44. I should not comment after viewing the first 5mins of the latest corporate training video as a couple of million dollars better spent on staff.
45. I should not sign off on corporate training saying I’ve done it when I haven’t.
46. Even if it is not particularly relevant to our jobs most of the time.
47. I am not allowed to refer to cleaning the fixture room as a waste of time as the day staff always end up messing it up within 24hrs+.
48. I am not allowed to laugh at the day staff while they are trying to catch pigeons who have some how gotten into the store.
49. RnB Xmas songs are a blasphemy and should not be played over the PA at Xmas.
50. I am not allowed to refer to the store as “the hellhole”.
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June 7th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
This actually sounds like a decent place to work.. so long as there’s a fellow hellraiser to make it interesting
Captcha: Regina Notley…one of santa’s sexy helpers??
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June 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
“Dismantling” with a crow bar? that sounds familiar.
and just as a point of UFI, the Drill Sergeant in the pilot of Space above and Beyond was R. Lee Ermey, the same guy that was in Full Metal Jacket.
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Arcanum reply on June 8th, 2009 6:18 am:
And he was an honest-to-goodness Marine Corps drill Sergeant. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Lee_Ermey
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Minty reply on June 8th, 2009 9:17 am:
Isn’t R. Lee Ermey the go-to guy to play the stereotypical drill sergeant/instructor that makes the audience start crying in sympathy for the rest of the characters?
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StoneWolf reply on June 10th, 2009 5:00 am:
Of course. He’s The Gunny.
Captaha: 16 helper=jail time
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ltc_insane reply on June 15th, 2009 8:21 pm:
lol if i had been a tad bit less lazy i would of done that but truthfully it wasn’t quite relevant, it was more the speech he made in Space Above & Beyond about turning them into marines and my turning it into something i could use on new staff :P
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June 8th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Dude… I think I may work dayshift at the same store. Sounds just like what night crew does where I work.
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June 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am
– I am not allowed to play kick-ball in the back room.
– Especially when it means knocking down overhead lighting that shatters into millions of glass shards all over the place.
– Lighting that falls down does so in slow motion.
– Not allowed to throw punctured cans of hair spray/butane into a bucket in the back room.
– Nor am I allowed to light it.
– It does make a pretty fireball though.
Captcha: IQ Style
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June 8th, 2009 at 9:54 am
captcha: guffawed $100… what you did and how much it cost before locking up?
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June 8th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Sounds a damn site more interesting than where I work.
Good one is spend 10 minutes shaking a can of pop (soda to you Americans) good and hard. Then when its about to burst you throw it as high and hard in the air as you can and run like hell cos it’s going to crack and when it hits the floor it’ll be spinning like a banshee.
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SKD reply on June 8th, 2009 3:42 pm:
actually it is called pop in some areas her in America, in other areas it is referred to as soda and in still other it is referred to as coke(regardless of actual brand).
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HardNose reply on June 8th, 2009 11:18 pm:
Down here in the South, we call it Coke.
Typical Southern conversation:
Ya wanna Coke
Yeah
What kind?
Pepsi
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SKD reply on June 9th, 2009 2:41 am:
Yep, I always found it annoying outside of the South when I would be in a restaurant or a drive-thru and when I said coke for my drink they would say “We don’t have coke products here, would you like a Pepsi instead.”
Time slothing- One way to describe my years in the military
Jim A reply on June 9th, 2009 5:12 am:
ISTR than an actual COKE is a co-cola.
StoneWolf reply on June 10th, 2009 5:02 am:
Jim-Not anymore, though that is where the name came from. They stopped putting it soda around the same time you stoped being able to buy amphetamines at the corner pharmacy.
bella reply on August 12th, 2009 9:23 am:
i, an aussie, have always called it cool drink^-^
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June 8th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Everything looks familiar to me. I was a night “merchandizer” for a year in college.
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June 9th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
1. Not allowed to “accidently” break, damage, and destroy things that other wise would have never sold anyway.
2. I am not to eat, smoke, cook, or otherwise consume food that I have not or never would intend on purchasing.
3. Even though I condsider it a perk of working my ass off for a bunch of unappreciative oxygen wasting good for nothing managers and customers.
4. Not allowed to refuse service to customers who whistle for me instead of coming to find me while I’m working on the other side of the store.
5. Not allowed to repeatedly get on a newbie’s case about moving his ass until he finally just quits.
6. Not allowed to ride newbies ass and tell him the boss will fire him if he doesn’t hurry up even though he will.
7. Not allowed to take bets on how long newbies will last even though I have a 85% accuracy rate and a “warm and sensitive personality”
8. Not allowed to use my “warm and sensitive personality” towards customers who ask me the most riduculous questions about food that they are standing next to or are clearly marked so that even the most mentally handicapped person could read.
9. Will stick to the holy trinity of drugs for night shifters while on shift (sugar, nicotine, and caffeine). Anything else will get me fired.
10. Must be careful when using dumpster because falling in will give me the thought that I should boil myself even though I have at least two hours of work still left to do.
11. My reaction to being kept 4 hours after my shift ended and still working should be positive and upbeat and not livid and murderous.
12. Not allowed to throw cases of anything no matter how absoulutely murderous I get in the situation.
That’s all I have for now I have tons more was a night shifter for a long time and have many pet peeves about customers, day-shifters, management, night-crawlers, and other assorted personalities and wastes of space, time, oxygen, and tax-payer money wasters.
OUT
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June 15th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
getting murderous is something i get quite a bit in my work place ;) and yeah i have a pretty good estimate that a good 10th at best of the people we get in any give recruitment will last more than 6 months.
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August 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
– Not allowed to set fire to cardboard in compactor
– Not allowed to crush stock guns in the cardboard compactor
– Not allowed to crush whole cartons of stock in the compactor
– not allowed to ride the front of the forklift
– not allowed to do burnouts with the electric pallet jack
– especially not on the shop floor
– Not allowed to put the manager up on harassment charges.
– even if he called you a “dickhead” over the PA when the store was open
– not allowed to make fun of said manager when he pees himself at a work party
– not allowed to return rubbish to the appropriate departments instead of crushing it.
– even if they fail to ask me nicely
– not allowed to do it to my own department either.
– not allowed to use stock to play catch with the person in the next asile
– not allowed to use things which aren’t stock to play catch either
– not allowed to leave a ‘present’ for the day staff
– that present is not allowed to be a cage of unseparated plastic and cardboard with broken egg dripping through it
– not allowed to be drunk at work
– not allowed to make aeroplane noises and ‘fly’ around the asiles with my arms out when the store is open
– not allowed to torment co-workers by pretending oversock cages contain new stock to be filled
– especially when it’s 20 mins before we’re supposed to finish
– Not allowed to park the night duty manager in so he can’t leave before us
– Not allowed to treat the night captain’s windscreen wipers with grease when we’re on a break
– Not allowed to tell the night captain to go screw himself and to do it himself
– not allowed to laugh at him when he tries, and fails
– not allowed to just walk out when working overtime
– especially not 3 days before christmas
– even if I have worked 8 consecutive 12 hr days
– not allowed to cut the ties on a full carboard bale
– not allowed to ride stock cages around the floor
– not allowed to danger tag the Dock door right before I leave
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Anonymous reply on January 11th, 2015 4:24 pm:
not allowed to do burnouts with the electric pallet jack
how does one accomplish that?
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