Archive for December 22nd, 2008

I’m sure the news article probably caught many readers’ eyes today: “Deep Throat”, anabolics the informant who helped bring down the Nixon Presidency, has passed away. Some lauded him as a hero who proved one man can make a difference even against the most menacing of would-be dictators. Some scorned him as a turncoat who betrayed his Commander-in-Chief. Some, like those of my generation, remember him as a stupid footnote in history that made us get a B+ instead of an A- on our American History midterm. Regardless of your opinion of his actions, you have to have respect for the ability of the man to keep a secret. No one knew his true identity for decades, despite books and movie about his role in history that he surely could have cashed in on.

While all the major news outlets covered the story, I found the write up by BBC News, found here, to be the most interesting. Mainly because of this single line “…Deep Throat – named after a popular pornographic movie of the time…” It wasn’t until today, despite knowing about the man for many years, that I learned that somebody thought it’d be a great joke to name the informant bringing down one of the most up-tight men in history with what was essentially a dirty joke. I admit, I giggled a little bit when I thought about it.

So thank you Deep Throat, and rest in peace. I for one cannot wait until someone follows in your footsteps and brings down another prominent politician, someone named “Two girls one cup”.

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New List time.

(Submitted by Martin Doyle)
1) The gloves are for food preparation, not for challenging people to duels.
2) Even if they insulted your honor.
3) Especially if they’re the ones keeping you employed
4) No vaulting the front counter. The door is there for a reason.
5) Even if it looks really cool.
6) Even if you scored a number from it.
7) If you think it would be fun to drop in the fryer, then you’re not allowed to drop it in the fryer.
8) Pallets left over from delivery of stock are not picnic tables.
9) Nor are the boxes from delivery there for you to practice Parkour.
10) Even if the security footage of said practice is impressive
11) The freezer is not your office
12) Nor is it a great spot to jump out at people from
13) Especially in a hockey mask
14) Not allowed to bring hockey masks to work anymore
15) Not allowed to wear pirate hats to work anymore
16) Not allowed to wear eye patches to work anymore
17) Tell your doctor to stop writing false medical certificates just so you can wear an eye patch at work
18) No climbing on top of the shelves of the store room
19) Even if the box you needed was in an impossible spot to reach without climbing
20) If you think it’ll be fun to climb on, you’re not allowed to climb on it
21) Making the trainee workers cry is not what you were hired for
22) Not allowed to ask customers for smokes
23) Especially underage customers
24) No, we will not program a button that charges people $5 every time they annoy you
25) You are advised that deliberately forgetting the shortcuts to make meals cheaper for customers who annoy you is frowned upon
26) Even if they have it coming
27) Even if it does boost sales
28) Not allowed to refer to such acts as the ‘stupid tax’
29) You are not a ‘Ninja in Training’ so hiding in ceiling vents and jumping out at people is not allowed
30) The condiment gun is there to make preparing burgers easier, not for target practice
31) Even if you have a 98% accuracy rating
32) Not allowed to question the intelligence of people who need a bunch of teenagers to tell them how to form 3 distinct lines
33) Even if they’re twice your age and should know by now
34) Not allowed to pretend you cannot speak English
35) Not allowed to refer to yourself as ‘The Pity Hire’
36) Telling customers that they’re in line for a Darwin award is unacceptable
37) Even if you are probably right

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