Archive for December 10th, 2008

With Yule right around the corner I finally got out my Yule tree and decorations. You may notice that I use the term Yule instead of Christmas, but that is another story. This one however involves certain things I rediscovered while unpacking my artificial Yule tree. Those things include:

1. A specific strand of holiday lights
2. My previous Yule tree
3. Several Yule presents which were never given
4. A train set
5. A large red cylinder with a black hose attached to it

The story goes something like this:

Did you know you should always use a certified electrician when running a new power outlet? Here is why:

• Twas the week before Yule, and all through the house
• Everything was quiet, even my pet mouse
• The wife was out shopping, with my sister-in-law
• Then the silence was broken by a reciprocating saw
• I was cutting a hole, in the living room wall
• I was laughing and singing, simply having a ball.
• See there were no outlets, in the place I had cut
• To plug in the lights for the Yule tree I had cut
• I was running new wires, from breaker to hole
• To brighten my wife’s Yule, and lift her soul.
• I connected the wires, plugged in the tree
• Plugged in the train, ho ho he he
• I threw the breaker, then began to choke
• For while hearing pops, I smelled smoke
• I ran to the room and began to perspire
• My Tree, My Train and presents on fire!
• Did you know that house power, comes in three types
• I had connected too much, two twenty volts to be precise
• The lights had all burst, igniting my tree
• The fire then consumed my presents you see
• The train itself had burst into flame
• Too much power, the cause the same
• So if you are thinking, you know what to do
• When lacking an outlet for holidays too
• Then listen to me, I’ll say it again
• Always, Always, hire and electrician!

Now for further clarification:

1. The holiday lights were un-fused and every bulb had burst, as well as electrically welded to their sockets.
2. The “Yule Tree” was little more than a charred lump of wood that I had kept to remind me not to play with electricity.
3. The presents were of course the remains of the ones I had put under the tree
4. The train set was little more than a lump of molten plastic and twisted metal
5. The red cylinder was of course a fire extinguisher

The good news is the house didn’t burn down. The bad: my wife didn’t get her PlayStation 3 or the new coat I had bought her.

I hope you all enjoy this!

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I’m not going to pretend that I have even partial justification for my actions.

But it’s amazing what you can get away with when you have a sock puppet.

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