Monday Morning List Update, Tuesday Edition
Hooray for long weekends. Now that we all have to go back to work on Tuesday, that makes it the new Monday, and so here’s the Monday morning “do not do list.”
This morning we have things that cannot be done while working for the Parks Department.
(Submitted by Ben Stewart)
1. I am not allowed to answer my phone while on the job
2. Even if it is the boss who is calling me
3. I am not allowed to edge a sidewalk from a moving vehicle, regardless of how good of a job I did
4. I am not allowed to kill ground squirrels near little kids
5. I am not allowed to make a shrine to the ground squirrel gods
6. Even if the city’s anti discrimination policy specifically mention religion
7. I am not allowed to point out every overweight women to my boss and say “wouldn’t you like to see her all sweaty?”
8. I am not allowed to bring fireworks to work
9. I am not allowed to throw little kids in the pond
10. Even if they did steal my trash grabber tongs
11. Not allowed to make up a gang name to cross out a real gang’s grafiti with
12. Not allowed to make spears out of the city’s tool’s to use for groundsquirrel hunting
13. Not allowed to use the excuse “It’s okay I work for the city” when not working to get free drinks at the softball fields
13. Not allowed to the excuse “Its okay I work for the city” when I drive non-road legal vehicles to go get tools from the hardware store
14. Not allowed to use the excuse “It’s okay, I work for the city” ever again
15. Not allowed to tell random women on the street that my coworkers would like to go on a date with them
16. Not allowed to give my coworkers’ names and numbers to butch looking softball players
17. Not allowed to look at the boss’ daughter
18. Not allowed to put broken glass on top of the bathrooms to keep people from climbing on them
19. Not allowed to go swimming in the pond
20. Even if it is to save a duck that has fishing string wrapped around its leg
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September 2nd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
First. Nice list.
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September 2nd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Hrm… ground squirrels… the bane of all groundskeepers.
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barry reply on September 7th, 2008 2:37 am:
i thought that the bane of all groundskeepers were gophers.
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Dave in NC reply on September 10th, 2008 8:25 pm:
Gophers are a golf-specific bane.
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September 2nd, 2008 at 8:24 pm
I like the broken glass thing. Just tell them, go ahead, climb the buildings but don’t come crying to me!
Also the part about throwing kids in the pond was cool too, we’ve all wanted to do that at some point or another.
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September 2nd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Are you allowed to post this article? If anyone gives you any guff, just say “It’s okay, I work for the city.”
Great post!
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September 4th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
i could see not answering the phone, but not building a shrine to honor the sacred squirrel gods? there is no way to ignore that. it must be built.
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September 5th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Dang, I thought skippy forgot all about my little list. Yeah, working at the city was pretty much the most boring job I had, but groundsquirrel hunting made up for it. Too bad, I pulled my hamstring chasing after one of those bastards once.
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September 10th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I guess shooting them off the top of the bathrooms with frozen paint balls would be out of the question as well.
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March 9th, 2015 at 5:53 pm
Currently it looks like Drupal is the top blogging platform out there
right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
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