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Day 1

October 2nd, 2012 by skippy

Thirty backers, and just shy of 25% of the total goal. I think that qualifies as a good first day. All we need to do is make sure that we keep up this level of interest, the WeaselPants Production Crew will be sitting on a giant pile of money. But instead of rolling around in this large money pile we will instead convert it into a smaller pile of games, some of which will be sent to you. So thanks for the strong start out of the gate, and keep showing us off to your friends.

Captain’s Log
Space Date 20120110

The GSC Incautious engaged on a routine patrol of the Alpha Centauri system. No major events transpired during the voyage. Just a calm peaceful cruise with no surprises. Naturally there were some unavoidable casualties.

Casualty Report

CPO Kadolph: Attempted to execute a standard external repair. Forgot space suit.
CPO Kowalczeski: Testing a new mine detection system. It worked. Sort of.
CPO Systems: Was found <redacted for security purposes> and a 14 gallon drum of rum.
CPO Covington: Beaten to death. With his own Fayzor.
CPO Lorenzen: Eaten by cats in her cabin. We have no idea why she had so many.
Crewman Sean: Control panel exploded for no discernible reason.
CPO Braley: Well now we know what happens when you press that big red button.
CPO Dusty: Was teleported down to a holographic planet. Our bad.
CPO Brigdon: We don’t know what that thing was, but we’re pretty sure it’s in the air ducts now.
Crewman Sullivan: Legs found dangling out of an air duct. Torso not yet located.
CPO Wood: Explaining to subordinates what a cautionary tale is. Ironically as it turns out.
CPO Cassiday: Played Orc Barbarian on the Simu-deck, which malfunctioned.
CPO John: Played Space Ninja Racer on the Simu-deck, which malfunctioned.
CPO Tipton: Played Fuzzy Bunny Time on the Simu-deck. Why do we have that thing again?
CPO Trader: Surprise birthday party went horribly awry.
CPO Buxtion: Was rather unfortunately in between the cake and the device at said party.
CPO Sands: Found a pile of ash in his boots.
CPO Jackson: All witnesses swear he launched himself out of a torpedo tube.
CPO Quin: Nobody knew his species wasn’t supposed to be that color until it was too late.
Ensign Kent: Conjugated a verb improperly in front of a Klang’on. Klang’ons love grammar.
CPO ChrisS: Accidentally beaten to death with Ensign Kent.
CPO Ben-Orr: Burned as a witch. Long story. Don’t ask.
CPO JaredK: Robots don’t understand sarcasm.
CPO CH: Nerve pinches don’t work on carnivorous plants. Well now we know.
CPO Smallwood: Look, we told him not to play with the creepy alien child.
CPO Darling: Crush by the safety grating of the plasma thrust intake during maintenance.
Space Trader Overstreet: Sucked into a plasma thrust intake during cargo inspection.
CPO Frank: Incinerated after being sent to see “What’s that clonking noise in the plasma intake.”
CPO Ruskin: Dove through one of those blast doors that iris closed. Made it halfway.
CPO Roberts: Was attack by a sparkly space vampire. Died of embarrassment.
CPO Gibbs: Blood seeped out from under his door and frankly, nobody wanted to go look.
CPO Bampton: “It’s a shark! how did a shark get he–” Then a sort of wet crunchy noise over his communicator.

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2 Responses to “Day 1”

  1. Joe "The worst private in Army History" Crouse Says:

    Reviewing the list
    #5 caught my attention

    By singling out silicone brest implants it leaves the door open to PolyProplyne String (available at the time but no longer) and Saline breast implants.

    Your Command staff seems to have left loopholes open that could have been exploited for further ammusement.

    Were they not mentioned or considered as options at the time the question was asked?

    Reply

  2. jmireles Says:

    I am now afraid to go anywhere near air ducts…sounds like Crewman Sullivan got a leg up on things…

    Reply

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