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Random Thought on Current Events

June 22nd, 2011 by skippy

I’ve had quite a bit going on and just haven’t really taken the time to come up with anything useful for the site lately. And so I think I’ll just do another current events post.

  1. Clarence Thomas appears to have been accepting bribes for years.  But at least he didn’t send a picture of his dick through twitter, so most people are okay with it. Although Anita Hill might argue that he probably would have if Twitter existed at the time.
  2. Lego decides to crank it up to 11.
  3. More people hurt by falling soda machines than fireworks.  But Massachusetts keeps them illegal anyways, due to “safety concerns”.  Representatives of Big Sparkler seen chuckling in the corner.
  4. Neophyte lawyer bungles his first case, a murder defense,  causing a mistrial.  Boasts of victor online, gets mocked by online law community. Decides to sue everybody.
  5. Rep Sheila Jackson Lee interrupts hearing on radical anti-American Muslims to ask why we aren’t also investigating Christian Militants in this country.  No joke for this, I’d like to know the answer too.  I mean from 1980-2005 there were something like 16 Muslim terrorist incidents and 279 anti-abortion ones.  Hell there have been more terrorist attacks motivated by Judaism than Islam, but nobody is proposing an investigation against Jews.
  6. Michelle Bachmann tweets about the Canadian economy.  In related news, Michelle Bachmann is sill a  fucking idiot.
  7. Federal prosecutors are holding drug dealers responsible for any deaths of their customers, including via overdose.  It is unclear when pharmaceutical corporations will be held to the same standard.
  8. Details have been  revealed on a version of the Green Lantern movie that didn’t get made.  Set to star Jack Black, and it depicted Muppet on news anchor sexy times.  Not an F/X puppet of an alien, a Muppet.  Elmo and Barbara Walters specifically.  For real.
  9. Woman steals a $6,500 mink coat by hiding it in her underwear.  Keeps it hidden there for three days while being questioned by police in jail.  Coat estimated to be worth slightly less now.
  10. Best defacing of a monument ever.

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12 Responses to “Random Thought on Current Events”

  1. steelcobra Says:

    Those of us in the Twin Cities want Bachmann out too, but her district doesn’t include us, so we’re just as stumped as you guys.

    Reply

  2. Phelps Says:

    The Clarence Thomas thing seems to be 100% smear to me. This is the same Maddow that insisted for a full week that Weiner was #HACKED! too, right?

    She spends the first minute stressing about how donations involving SCOTUS justices have to be anonymous… and then acts like there is something nefarious about Crow making his donation anonymously.

    Give me a break.

    Reply

    skippy reply on June 22nd, 2011 1:38 pm:

    Nothing nefarious about the donation…the nefarious part comes in his conduct afterwards.

    I mean I can understand not liking Maddow much, I’m not that fond of her myself. But there was a long series of “oops I didn’t know I had to report that income” from Justice Thomas and his voting record is public. It’s not like you can’t go look it up.

    Reply

  3. Taliesin Says:

    You should write headlines for a major news outlet. Hell, if you were writing the headlines, I’d even read newspapers!

    Reply

    Eden reply on June 23rd, 2011 11:47 pm:

    Actually, Skippy IS my only news source.

    Reply

    skippy reply on June 23rd, 2011 11:58 pm:

    That is frankly terrifying.

    Reply

  4. Susan Says:

    Re #8: Recruit this woman for the CIA.

    Reply

  5. Andrew Says:

    Lego ship… awesome!
    Rep Sheila Jackson Lee… awesome!
    Russian statue defacement… awesome!
    Alt Version of the “Green Lantern”… awesome!
    Michelle Bachmann… not so much…

    Reply

  6. Signalist Says:

    #2 would be awesome to have, think they’ll release “Lusankya” -version with the New Republic crests and stuff?

    Reply

  7. Gopblin Says:

    3. I actually did that, many times. Like, shoulder-fired a mortar like an RPG. Was meaning to get an old bazooka tube to do it but never got around to it. Well, now its on my to-do list.
    9. They sorta x-ray you in jail, but don’t do a strip search. So it is possible if you’re big enough.
    10. While I don’t condone defacing of victory monuments (remember this monument is about saving the world from Nazis, sorta like defacing a Holocaust memorial), the style IS funny.

    Reply

  8. SharpPokeyThing Says:

    Intresting how it went from a memorial to the Soviets to a shrine to American Comic books, I notice a mix of DC and Marvel though.

    Reply

  9. Kaylin Says:

    At last! Something clear I can uneadstrnd. Thanks!

    Reply

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