Hate Male Part 2
Well the results of the poll are in.
It looks like less than 3% of the readers here wanted me to take the high road. Evidently I do not attract the high road sort. That probably says something unpleasant about me.
I decided against actually creating a profile on any gay dating sites. Not because I don’t think it would be funny (Because it totally would), but because the other gay men innocently using those sites haven’t ever done me any harm. And they don’t deserve the shit that he would throw their way if they decided that they did want to “Answer the call and see if they have what it takes”.
But I did incorporate the two highest voted ideas and sent off my response.
_____
Dear Mr. Smith,
Or can I call you Gilbert? I think that the intimacy of your offer certainly implies that I should be comfortable calling you by your first name.
I had just returned home from a family reunion when I discovered the proposition that you sent to my in-box. I want to assure you that my delay in writing back was due to the fact that I was out of town, and not due a sense of homophobia or personal rejection.
And while I admit I am flattered by your attention, and perhaps even a little curious, I am afraid that my answer must be a firm “no”. Please rest assured that this isn’t a condemnation or a judgment on your sexuality or chosen lifestyle. Rather this is because I myself am thoroughly heterosexual. I can empathize with the lust that you are experiencing. I am just not interested in sucking any cock, even the distinguished Marine unit you possess.
But please rest assured that I am not close minded. I personally give my full support to homosexuals in the military such as yourself. With any luck in a few years things will open up a bit and folks like you won’t even have to hide who you are any more.
In the meantime, while I find myself unable to help you out in a more direct or personal way, perhaps I can still be of some assistance.
I have located a great many web-sites that specialize in helping a virile Marine such as yourself to get their oral freak on, as it were, with men. Since you expressed an interest in this particular activity I have taken the liberty of finding some of these sites for you. Feel free to browse and sign up at you leisure, and I’m sure you will get the hot Marine on man’s face action that you so clearly crave.
http://www.pinkweb.com/personal.main.html
http://gaypersonalads.co.uk/
http://guyslink.com/
http://www.gaymilitarycentral.com/gay_search_category/marine.html
This last one should be of particular interest to you, I’m sure.
Again, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more receptive to your offer, it’s not you, it’s me. And I hope that we can be friends.
_____
Now I guess we’ll see what happens.
Follow
June 18th, 2010 at 7:09 am
captcha- the veins
Oh yes, the veins will be standing out on his neck when he reads this. Hopefully just those veins, and not any others, for Skippys sake..
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 7:41 am
The only thing that could have been better is contacting his unit and informing them that he propositioned you (or sending them a copy of this missive).
After they finished laughing their asses off they might just try to perform a stick-ectomy on the idiot.
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 9:01 am
Looks like you took a higher road than any of us were thinking of!
Oh to be a fly on the wall…
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 11:15 am
we should all be very very silent and wait, listen hard to the winds for the feral scream of aggravation from some unknown distant location as the recipient of this letter reads. XD
wait i wouldn’t give to see the guys face!
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I dunno – sounds like it may be too subtle for the jarhead. But I was certainly snickering like an idiot :)
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Epic.
I think I just heard the sound of a computer monitor getting smashed by a rage-filled fist somewhere….
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
ROFL: “I hope that we can be friends.”
Captcha ROCKS! “frogman has”
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Funny how they always say they wanna be friends right after they rip your heart out, huh?
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
One word: WIN!!!!!
Reply
June 18th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
Captcha: redness terms: yes these terms will cause some redness…
Reply
June 19th, 2010 at 4:02 am
Ahhhh, Skippy you are SO wonderfully eeeeevil! Really, after starting a Saturday reading something like this, it is obvious that the rest of the weekend will be great. Thanks you for being so creatively sick and twisted. And yes, I wish I could be a fly on the wall when he opens your letter too!
captcha- “saddened that”…I am saddened that I cannot personally observe his reaction!
Reply
June 19th, 2010 at 4:25 am
I approve. Let’s see what happens, shall we?
Reply
June 19th, 2010 at 5:48 am
I wanna be there… The scary part is I think I recognize the email… Must now check my contacts list…
Captcha: Garbanzo in – in what/where/who?
Reply
June 21st, 2010 at 9:44 am
EPIC WIN!!!!!! XD
hope to se what happens next…. the email not the actual situation X_X
Reply
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Why do I see Skippy’s List reach #214
Reply
June 24th, 2010 at 6:20 am
This will be amazing.
No exceptions
Reply