Random Things That Hurt My Brain
A major player in the news business has just won a lawsuit with the defense that there is no law against journalists lying or distorting the truth, nor is it a crime to coerce a journalist to do those things. And yet they are still in the news business. After not only admitting that they have been lying on air, but having publicly defended it as their right.
David Icke exists, and that people pay to listen to him speak. Even though he has publicly stated that lizard people are secretly controlling the earth. Hah. We all know that’s just what the Giant Space Ants want him to think.
When speaking to Congress, insurance company leaders addressed their tendency to use technicalities to drop health coverage from people who need it. When asked if they could maybe limit the coverage loss to only people deliberately commit fraud in order to get insurance that they do not qualify for, they said no. So basically they got up in front of Congress and said that they have no intention of dealing with the American people in good faith.
Dallas Police went into a gay bar and started arresting people for public intoxication. On the Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.
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June 30th, 2009 at 1:02 am
when things start to look like they can’t get any worse
when it seems that progress may in fact be made on health care
when the human race seems to be a little less than hopeless
stupid people ruin it for us all…
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June 30th, 2009 at 3:37 am
A couple of quotes from one of my favorite authors,
Robert A. Heinlein –
“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”
and:
“Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can’t help being stupid.”
With that in mind, just take the warning labels off all the appliances and let nature (and Darwin) take it’s proper course. (Like chlorine to the gene pool)
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StoneWolf reply on June 30th, 2009 4:31 am:
Firstly, Heinlein is one of the best. Secondly, chlorine can go fuck itself. We need the Chainsaw of Natural Selection. http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20031208.html
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Andrew reply on July 6th, 2009 6:13 am:
OMG! That actually made me laugh out loud! (is a silent laugher)
Gonna have to remember the chainsaw of natural selection… Get some weird looks… you know, fun.
Cpatcha: Canaan and… Canaan and… Canaan aaaaaaand… Canaan and Galilee.
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Enigmatick reply on June 30th, 2009 6:02 am:
Continuing the second quote there:
“But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.”
Oh, if only that were really true!
It may be that stupidity does carry a death sentence, but in too many cases it needs to be carried out much faster!
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Al Li reply on June 30th, 2009 9:16 am:
Don’t forget what Einstein said, “Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the former.”
Captcha: zingers of
of what?
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June 30th, 2009 at 4:29 am
About the reporter thing-NO FRICKING SHIT! Nobody has reported news for decades! They report “stories” which is polite for propaganda. When was the last time you heard a news report that laid out the bare facts without interperetation and let you decide for yourself its meaning? You want to know the “truth”, listen to Fox news, NPR, research online, read between the lines and form your own bloody opinion. You want the media to deliver the truth, read PRAVDA.
I think I should introduce Mr. Icke to the transdimensinal clowns that live in my underpants.
You know how to fix the insurane thing? Enact “good faith” laws. Thats it. Then the fuckers can be jailed when the rip people off.
That sign makes me sad. And angry. Oh, and homicidal. No, wait, thal last one is normal.
The bottom line is all the happy fluffy “One world united in brotherhood” BS we hear about now and again will never work because people are stupid and selfish. The only way for that to change is to alter humanity into a state that we no longer recognize as human. Since that ain’t happening any time soon, lets just be content making sure the species continues in all its idiotic glory, because anything else is surrender.
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notsomuchactually reply on June 30th, 2009 6:18 am:
“transdimensinal clowns that live in my underpants.” I laughed so hard at this that I had to use my Xopenex (asthma rescue inhaler).
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Billy reply on June 30th, 2009 11:45 am:
I don’t know, I often refer to people as humans by accident, as if I wansn’t one. Then again, a lot of people probably doubt my humanity.
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June 30th, 2009 at 4:59 am
Sorry, but I work for a chain of local newspapers, and NO opinion, NO unsubstantiated facts, NO single-source stories are ever allowed, with the exception of the weekly editorial (clearly labeled, honestly if not creatively, “Opinion”) that our editor-in-chief writes. Anybody who submits that kind of thing is massively chewed out (by a couple of world-class chewer-outers, too!), and had better learn really fast that crap is NEVER acceptable, and will quickly get your ass fired.
(Sidenote for those who might wonder, ‘but she’s said she’s a theater projectionist!’: I have two full-time jobs, and no social life.)
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Sean reply on June 30th, 2009 7:23 am:
Obviously madam you’ve never watched the fifth season of “The Wire.” Or “Shattered Glass”. It happens all too often, though by your account I’d say not at your fine journalistic establishment.
(I don’t know why I went all “Victorian Gentleman” there for a second. Weird.)
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Jim A reply on June 30th, 2009 9:31 am:
And just in case somebody should say “But The Wire is just a TV show, I’d like to point out that David Simon the creator of the show worked for the Baltimore Sun from 1983-1995. It’s hardly a work of journalism. but neither is it created from nothing out in Hollywood.
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Minty reply on June 30th, 2009 9:29 am:
“I work for a chain of local newspapers. . .”
And this is exactly why your newspapers contain “real” news. The owners are too busy upholding the ideals of the Fourth Estate to bother keeping up with the Hearsts. Faux News, on the other hand, walks the fine line between crime and parody.
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June 30th, 2009 at 5:32 am
Whoa, hold up there, Ghostrider!
That article is from 2003! This isn’t new. The article is written for an “organic” advocacy publication, so calling their description of the events “unbiased” might be a stretch too. Essentially, they assume that whatever “facts” the two producers came up with were valid, and that any efforts by the Fox local affiliate were an attempt to quash the story or deny those (unevaluated) facts.
The author of this article basically engages in the very same “offences” (to some degree, which you may choose to debate) that they accuse the Fox affiliate of!
I note that the details of the ruling are sparse in the article. Read that how you may, but I was always taught that assertions needed to be backed with facts. Stating that the court “said it’s OK to lie”, really seems to beg excerpts or quotes from the ruling that support that. However, none are on offer, nor is any un-interpreted evidence presented to support the outrage that the author clearly feels. So, it’s an opinion piece and nothing more. If it makes your head feel all ‘splody, then you shouldn’t watch TV or read anything but children’s books.
The actual case the author is all exercised about seems pretty simple. The producers were employed by by a TV station. The executives of that TV station employed their creative control to “balance” the piece, which is their right. They are the bill payers, and responsible for the stories they broadcast.
The couple defied instructions to stop, threatened the executives, and were fired. If a warehouse worker did that, people would laugh at him when he tried to sue. This isn’t about free speech, it’s about employers and employees.
The producers would be free to do whatever they wanted…if they were paying their own bills. However, I noticed that there is no mention of them finishing their story and selling the (inevitably unbiased and blockbuster) finished work to another station, or releasing it a la Al Gore. Maybe it really wasn’t all that they say it was?
Anyway, whatever you believe about BgH, this is more about adults acting like spoiled, entitled children than about some deep horrible conspiracy to enslave us all with poison milk products.
C
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skippy reply on June 30th, 2009 9:41 am:
Actually the facts of the case are largely irrelevant to what made my head ‘splody.
My issue is that rather than making the argument that you did, the lawyers for Fox argued that the lawsuit against them had no merit, because it is their right to lie.
Which might technically be true, but strikes me as the sort of argument that a news broadcasters lawyer should never make.
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Minty reply on June 30th, 2009 2:31 pm:
Especially since Fox airs so many shows which claim to be the sole repository of “The Truth.”
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wulfvn reply on July 7th, 2009 11:06 am:
That isn’t actually what they argued…that’s just what that article claimed. If you go look at the appeals transcript, (linked below) Fox argued that Aker and Wilson weren’t entitled to whistleblower protection…which the court agreed to because of how Florida defines a law.
The actual court transcripts depict the proceedings as much closer to Chuck’s guess. (See Hilsborough County, Florida; case 98-CA-002439)
http://www.2dca.org/opinions/Opinion_Pages/Opinion_Page_2003/February/February%2014,%202003/2D01-529.pdf
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skippy reply on July 7th, 2009 11:21 am:
I read it. (Did you?) The Fox lawyers claim that the former employees were not entitled to whistle blower protection, because whistle blower protection only applies when you turn in your employer for a legal violation. And that deliberately distorting the news didn’t count.
“Because the FCC’s news distortion policy is not a law, rule, or regulation
under section 448.102, Akre has failed to state a claim under the whistle-blower’s
statute. Accordingly, we reverse the judgment in her favor and remand for entry of a
judgment in favor of WTVT.”
So WTVT did successfully argue that it is not illegal to deliberately lie about the news.
Minty reply on June 30th, 2009 2:33 pm:
The other bit of nastiness is the claim that the First Amendment allows them to knowingly lie to the public.
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StoneWolf reply on July 1st, 2009 4:35 am:
Regrettably I think they are correct. You or I can lie anytime we wish, and will it is extremely bad form, news shows can and do. They are not a government agency, they are not tax-funded (if they are that changes the whole thing) and they only provide the public service of news insomuch as they can make a profit. They “spin” news to fit their motives just like every other propagandist in history.
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Minty reply on July 1st, 2009 9:01 am:
Yeah, yeah, I know. It just disgusts me that they win on appeal because there’s no law governing what information they pass on, and then they wrap themselves up in the Constitution like they’re such fucking patriots for being lying scumbags.
June 30th, 2009 at 5:50 am
The lizard people prefer to be called “Lizara” and even tho they are known to the whole D&D crowd as characters in their game, that is how the hide publicly. I bet they’re also in WOW.
Speaking as a former insurance agent, most of the insurance out there is a scam. Term life that costs the same regardless would be able to cover everyone, even the pre-existing terminal cancer patient. Major medical would cover most of us if govt was not in the insurance game – medicaide, medicaire. But none of that would pay for the high rise buildings that sport the insurance company names and none of the CEOs and board members would be able to jet around the world and play golf 40 hours a week if that were so. I believe you need to get paid, but insurance is a money making machine for the few at the top and truly does not cover the needs of the people paying for it.
I yield the soapbox.
Foxnews – now it’s the 24/7 Michael Jackson station, heh.
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June 30th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Ron White said it best: “You can’t fix stupid”
captcha: edmands Britton – A fantasy Britton, where everyone has good teeth, you can understand what they say, and pints are free!
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Billy reply on June 30th, 2009 11:50 am:
Yeah, you can, its called “death”
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June 30th, 2009 at 6:08 am
One big correction. That wasn’t Dallas PD that raided the bar, it was the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission with Fort Worth PD as backup. Here are some links:
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2009/06/on_40th_anniversary_of_stonewa.php
http://www.star-telegram.com/804/story/1458831.html
BTW, linking to the Daily KOS is as bad as linking to Worldnet Daily.
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AnonyMouse reply on June 30th, 2009 5:07 pm:
http://www.cafepress.com/sporkbarrel.395801599
No Bigots With Badges
+ 1 to the Chainsaw of Natural Selection
captcha sight nugget
I see what you’re saying, using a catapult with a laser sight to launch chainsaws – large boulders at them bigots… hmmm
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June 30th, 2009 at 9:33 am
The thing that both amuses and pisses me off about the sign? The fact that “academics” is spelled wrong.
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M578Jockey reply on June 30th, 2009 11:02 am:
Never mind academics, the jocks can’t even spell athletics correctly….or GA….
Captcha: Backe Hilary – Too late, we already elected Obama.
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Minty reply on June 30th, 2009 2:26 pm:
Oh, I caught that. “Academics” just seemed particularly poignant.
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June 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am
In regards to the sign, while I support freedom of religion, one thing I despise, above all others, is trying to force one’s religeous veiws on others. That is why I hated the movie “Wicker Man” for blatantly making all pagan religions look like crazy people, and why I would have reacted violently if I was the one asked if the U.S. should become a Christian country. I forgot who asked it, but they had asked Bush, and I was personally appalled at the idea. That being said, I don’t care if the G.A. Falcons are all religeous, but anything saying that God takes top priority really needs to examine the God character they are worshipping.
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Minty reply on June 30th, 2009 2:29 pm:
The prioritizing doesn’t bother me, it’s the posting of the sign in a public place which is particularly loathsome.
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Sequoia reply on June 30th, 2009 5:53 pm:
But where else would you post a sign? And if it is on their property, WTF could be the problem with that?
However, I do agree with those who say the sign should be taken down. THE SPELLING NEEDS FIXING dammit.
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Minty reply on July 1st, 2009 9:08 am:
From the context of the picture, it looks like it’s on public property. Ergo, one could make the argument that by allowing a permanent sign advocating an ethos particular to a specific religion, the (local) government is endorsing that religion.
Now, if it is not on public property–if, for example, the field belongs to a private religious school (the caption claims homeschooling, but we really can’t know)–then I have no problem with it. Shit, let them install a scoreboard that says “Go Falcons!” with a video of Jesus doing cartwheels while fireworks go off around him.
June 30th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I have to add one thing on the whole “freedom of speech” defense. Freedom of speech is constantly being violated by the law in ways that many people accept. For instance, if I were to shout out in a large group that I enjoy blowing stuff up, or something along those lines, people and cops would freak out and arrest me. Then you get to threats that, while I consider them to be wrong except in particular situations, arresting people just for saying the threats would, in fact, be a violation of our freedom of speech. So, either Fox can’t lie about their news, or people should be allowed to threaten eachother.
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StoneWolf reply on July 1st, 2009 4:41 am:
I agree with you on that. I understand why you shouldn’t yell fire in a theater, but anything that does not directly cause bodily harm should be allowed. And if that offends you, don’t forget the other side of the 1st Amendment. They can say it, but you are not required to listen.
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June 30th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
“Be The Hammer, Not the Nail”? Huh? I’m a member of Mensa, and this one ain’t computing. Granted, it was a very long day in Accounts Payable Hell at the HQ of a major retailer.
Someday I’m going to write a list of things I’m not allowed to do while working there.
Skippy, can I take the Chainsaw of Natural Selection to work tomorrow? Pleeeaaasssse?
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Billy reply on June 30th, 2009 6:40 pm:
If he doesn’t lend you the chainsaw, i’ll send you my recipe for edible napalm.
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paula reply on June 30th, 2009 7:01 pm:
oooh, can I bake it into some brownies and take it to work?!?
captcha: coma Chicago — hey wait, I wasn’t even NEAR the place!
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Billy reply on June 30th, 2009 7:05 pm:
Well, I havn’t yet tested it, and it is all theoretical, but if you combine orange juice, veggie oil, powdered dairy creamer, and perhaps some corn syrup and sugar (to give it that nice pretty blue color) then that, supposedly, would make something both edible, and highly flammable. I don’t know how well it would work if added into brownies, but now I have a funny image of flaming brownies.
Note, I havn’t tested it as of yet, so use with caution.
skippy reply on June 30th, 2009 7:33 pm:
Please remember that you probably shouldn’t accept financial, spiritual, legal, or pyrotechnical advice from a humor blog, or it’s comments section.
StoneWolf reply on July 1st, 2009 4:43 am:
Once the victims eat the flamey brownie, how would you light it off?
Billy reply on July 1st, 2009 11:05 am:
Well, first, because of the corn syrup, i’d say your better off with flammable fudge, then find something that reacts with hydrochloric acid enough to cause a spark. Then, you have death fudge that will burn/explode in your stomach. and yes, the obvious pun is death by chocolate.
Billy reply on July 5th, 2009 12:14 pm:
Now that I think of it, just the stomach acid itself ought to cause problems with the napalm, so I think that it would just kill somebody. And considering the lack of extended responses to this, I now worry that somebody tested this out and got hurt badly.
paula reply on July 5th, 2009 3:36 pm:
Shucks, Billy, it almost seems like you have the impression we can’t be trusted to conduct a simple scientific inquiry. It’s not like we wanna feed napalm brownies to anybody we CARE about, or even ramdom people off the street: just the occasional shallow-end-of-the-gene-pool coworker….. you know: nobody important!
June 30th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
“We all know that’s just what the Giant Space Ants want him to think.”
And that is what the Alien Space Bats want us to believe.
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skippy reply on June 30th, 2009 7:33 pm:
Don’t be silly. There are no bats in space.
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Sequoia reply on July 1st, 2009 7:24 am:
They’re from a book series. First is Dies the Fire, then The Protectors War, then A Meeting at Corvallis, and (finally) the Sunrise Lands.
And that is what the Alien Space Bats want you to think.
If they can fuck with the laws of thermodynamics, chemistry, and physics to the point where all electrical devices stop working because electricity no longer exists, steam engines don’t work because the gas laws have been royally fucked, and that explosives aren’t explosive, they can make you think they don’t exist. DON’T GIVE IN!!!
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July 4th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Aw c’mon! You don’t love the idea that the British royal family are actually sleestack??
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July 6th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Just “bobble” all of them!
Capcha = reloaded Spanish – She enjoyed the first load so much, she came back for more.
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