Archive for the ‘Just kind of babbling’ Category

Since my wife and I are getting our own business off of the ground, while at the same time raising a pair or wonderful, but horrifically expensive babies, we’ve discovered that we need to cut back on certain non-essential spending. This means we don’t go to the movies when we can stream Netflix, we don’t eat out when we can cook. It means I don’t get a new WH40K army no matter how awesome the models are. And we don’t spend money on the new World of Warcraft expansion.

Which as many of you are no doubt highly aware, comes out next week. Well for the holidays one of my relatives gave me a gift certificate to a video game store. The amount was far more than I need to pre-order Cataclysm. When I pointed this out to my spouse, she responded that this meant that I would have a copy of Cataclysm, and she would not. Which has the potential to degenerate into what you and I might refer to “Marital Strife.” Or what my wife referred to as “A twisted nightmare realm of fear, pain, and torn mangled flesh from which you will never awaken.”

I pointed out that we could probably just spend a little bit of extra money and get two copies, and hopefully avoid the whole “nightmare of mangled flesh” thing, and she agreed that it seemed like a good idea.

Follow

I’ve thought about it, and I have to say that I have mostly the same feelings about hunting that I do about gay sex.

To clarify, I have friends that think that both of these activities are an enjoyable way to spend a weekend, and I have absolutely no moral qualms with them doing so. I like living in a society that is accepting of their choice of activities, and I fully support their right to do so.

But that doesn’t mean I’m likely to be heading into the woods to take part in either one any time soon.

Follow

In which I vastly improve a famous movie and book franchise.
(more…)

Follow

So if you have been following the news for the past few weeks, or if you or someone you know is a pimp, you may have heard about what recently transpired on Craigslist.

The short version, is that they eliminated the adult section of the site.

The longer version is that throughout this country, law-enforcement and a variety of DA’s kept threatening legal action, on the basis that the Craigslist adult section was a haven for prostitution. Which to be fair, was probably a very accurate assessment of the situation. And even though Craigslist has traditionally assisted law enforcement, to the point of setting up a special interface for police to examine and track posters, many felt that it was their responsibility to society to take the whole section down, and failing that, these folks tried to use the courts to take the whole site down.

And so, in order to protect themselves Craigslist took down their adult section. More specifically they blocked access to that section from any computer coming from America.

Now I’m not going to talk about the 1st Amendment or the Federal laws that protect websites from the consequences of third party content. Others who are more knowledgeable and frankly better writers than me have already done a more thorough job than I ever could.

I’m not going to talk about the legalities and morality of prostitution. Police, and to a lesser extent Government lawyers don’t have an ethical right to choose what laws they will enforce. For good or ill, prostitution is illegal, and they are duty and oath bound to do what they can to stop it.

But what I am going to talk about is how incredibly fucking stupid those folks are who tried to bully Craigslist into shutting down the adult section.

Your job is to fight crime. Hookers and their clients are criminals. Therefore, it is up to law enforcement and the DA office to find a prosecute them. So far so good.

And then along comes a website that has not only a list of every harlot in town, but also a picture, a phone number, a vague geographic location, and more often than not, a price sheet.

I’m sorry, America’s law enforcement, but I am calling bullshit on this one. Given the information Craigslist just dropped into your lap, every working girl (and both guys) should have been off the streets years ago. I mean, it would have taken literally just one police officer about 15 minutes to have the contact info of nearly every sex-worker in the city.

I mean, at this point, the fact that they haven’t busted every single strumpet, floozy, and bawd in the market is really just laziness. Which brings us to the actual problem. It’s not that these folks are worried about the internet being used to spread the sex-trade. It’s that they are worried about how obvious the Internet makes it that they aren’t very good at stopping it.

Follow

So for the past few weeks I have been getting ready for a move, which we finally did this weekend. It wasn’t a “big deal” move, like the many cross-country moves I’ve managed to make over the years, TX-CA, CA-TX, TX-IL, IL-AZ, AZ-TX damn I move entirely too much. This time it was just from one part of the Dallas area to another part. I now live in a city that most people have heard of only because it was featured in a zombie movie, which I suppose is strangely appropriate.

Well it turns out that moving is a lot more complicated when you have small children. You see, my wife and I have worked out this system where at any given point in time one of us is watching the twins, and one of us is doing something to make money through our web design business.   Now we added a third job: packing.  Which would seem to require the services of another adult in our household to do this while keeping up with the first two jobs.  My suggestion that we simply add another wife to the household to increase our ability to deal with extra chores was met with a surprising amount of positive consideration, which probably says quite a bit more about the realities of juggling a home business with multiple children than my spouse’s views on polyamory.

(more…)

Follow

In the past, I have worked in crappy customer service jobs ringing up purchases. And like most people who get to spend all day ringing people up, I got very bored. I used to entertain myself by examining the items that folks would buy, and try to figure out what was going on in their lives.

For instance, if a customer was buying hot dogs, buns, condiments and charcoal, I would think to myself, “That lady is going to have a barbecue.” If they were buying ice cream, candy, and diet soda I might think, “Who the hell does that guy think he’s fooling?” And if they were purchasing duct tape, plastic sheeting, a hacksaw and lye, I would think, “I should assure this gentleman that my memory is terrible, and that I have already forgotten ever seeing him. And then run away.”

Because of this I always assume that the people that ring me up are doing the same thing. Which has, on occasion, made me feel bizarrely self-conscious about the things that I am buying.

Just the other day I found myself in need of a trip to the store. I only needed a few things, and here’s how it went for me.

(more…)

Follow

I have not ever worked as a model. I have never worked with a model other than in a life drawing class.

I have not in the past, nor am I currently, nor am I likely to ever be in any way affiliated with either the modeling industry nor any affiliated businesses such as fashion of glamor magazines.

The closest I have ever come to an interest in these subjects is enjoying a few reruns of Just Shoot Me, and once being forced to watch The Devil Wears Prada.

(more…)

Follow

So I have just discovered that I have spent several years training to be an athlete, completely by accident. You see, I own several ferrets, and many pairs of pants. And while to you or I might believe that pants are a garment to be used by a single individual at a time, to a ferret, pants truly appear to be a sort of community event, designed to be enjoyed and shared by all.

Simply put, if you have pants and ferrets in the same house, sooner or later their paths are going to converge. Which will be either tragic or hilarious depending on whether or not you are the one wearing them at the time.

(more…)

Follow

A conversation from my home

Wife: Whatchya doing?

Me: Writing a post for the site…but I’m stuck.

Wife: What is it about?

Me: It’s a list of all of the phrases that every guy wants to be able to say for real..

(more…)

Follow

It turns out that there are clerics in Iran who feel that earthquakes are caused by women who dress immodestly.

I’m trying to come up with a punch line, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything as funny as that statement all by itself.

(more…)

Follow